I’m feeling feisty today and reader Kevin sent me a link to an interesting article, so…
Let’s bust a myth!
Are you familiar with the phrase “Alpha Fux, Beta Bux?” It refers to the widespread (heh) practice of women having sex with noncommittal alphas until they go over that pesky SMV cliff at 30. Then they scramble like mad to find some poor provider sap to serve as their workhorse and emotional punching bag. Oh, and they never have sex again once they snag him.
Well…it turns out there is some merit to the idea of settling, but you may be surprised by the booby prize.
Anyone who has watched a lonely friend shack up with a useless buffoon can relate to this new finding: People really do settle for less in a relationship when they fear being single.
A study of 3,000 Canadian adults of all ages showed that:
Participants with stronger fears about being single were more likely to stay in relationships they were unhappy with – and more likely to date people who weren’t good for them, the researchers concluded in a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
How did people settle?
1. “They settled in the area of personality, choosing someone who might come off as more of a jerk or uncaring as a partner.”
2. “People who were more afraid of being single were more willing to date someone unattractive.”
Was it primarily women who settled?
“It was roughly the same for both men and women – they both expressed similar levels of fear of being single and we saw that affecting their relationship positions in similar ways.”
Did people settle more as they got older?
And another myth bites the dust…I’ve always said that the alpha chasers don’t “change lanes” to marry decent guys. The carousel is the ride that never ends, it just goes round and round forever.
Oh, before I forget:
Someone else has finally written an intelligent response to that stupid SMV graph. In a post titled People Doing Statistics Badly, the blogger at Midnight in the Garden of Epsilon and Delta explains why the manosphere depiction of female vs. male SMV is completely bogus, and how the red pill objections to my analysis were groundless. He did point out something I had missed:
Should a person’s peak sexual value drop because they live longer? Men and women do, on average, have different life expectancies in the USA and as a result if we assert the area under both curves should be equal, then we are penalizing the longer-lived sex with slightly lower sexual value for the rest of their younger years in order to have some left over for those extra couple years of life.
So there you go, ladies. You’re a little hotter than you thought.