Fed Up With No Next Day Calls
There’s quite a good piece over at Dartmouth’s student newspaper The Mirror, but I’m afraid it’s too full of Dartmouth-speak for us regular types, so I’ve adapted where necessary to a more general audience. You can check out the original here: TheDartmouth.com | I’m having some issues…. by Carol Brown.
It considers the question of next day calls or text messages from last night’s hookup. Problem is, girls aren’t getting too many of those, duh.
“….much to my annoyance, I’ve received nothing. No morning-after [message], and thus, no recognition that I suffered through the Walk of Shame for the shmucks. I always thought it would be common courtesy to acknowledge the pain of walking home in rain/snow/daylight, but apparently, I’m wrong. It’s even gotten to the point that I [text] myself to see if my [phone] is still working. Should I stop playing into Dartmouth’s hookup culture, or can I make the system work for me?”
Fed Up With No Messages
Dear Fed Up,
You couldn’t be more on-target. It seems that members of this new frat pledge class believes they are God’s gift to night-time activity, nullifying the need for the classic “morning-after” [communication]. Don’t worry – you aren’t alone. While a hookup culture revolution might be in order all over campus, there are a few modifications that could be made in lieu of a coup.
It seems to me you have a few possible options:
1. Start tattooing your [cell number] on your newest boy. You can even make it a fun and kinky Cosmo-esque project. (“Close your eyes and wait to feel a tingle …”) The plus side? After branded, men always call the next day.
2.When hooking up, begin testing their endurance and memory through a fun game I like to call “Strip Text Messaging.” Every time he remembers your [name, phone number, room number, major, etc.], an article of clothing comes off. Wear extra layers if you really want to test his allegiance (especially easy in the winter months!).
3. Use reverse psychology. Say things like “I could care less if I ever see you again, let alone receive a call from you at noon tomorrow. I really hope you aren’t expecting to have lunch after your 10A, because I won’t show up.”
4. Don’t scam on the boys who are scamming on all the single (and not-so-single) ladies in the room. Avoid the guys who are mentally undressing a girl while grinding all up on another. It’s usually not too hard to discover which guys in a frat basement have actually attained a certain level of respect for women. Just make sure you respect yourself enough not to let yourself get tied up in losers who won’t even think to contact a girl after hooking up. And if all else fails – it’s college. Experiment with women. Just a thought.
Keeping it real and not-so-platonic,
Carol
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Yeah, the only times I get text/call from guys like that are at 4am on a Saturday night.