Glamour’s Extra-Steamy Man Survey
January 2009
January 2009
The current issue of Glamour magazine includes the results of their first Man Survey in fifteen years.
A few of my favorite highlights follow (the editorial comments are mine):
Have you ever…
Measured your penis?
Yes 67%
No 33%
I find it hard to believe 33% have resisted the temptation, but I give them credit. Most men worry pointlessly about this issue.
Faked an orgasm during intercourse?
Yes 24%
No 76%
So how does that work exactly? Every girl knows when she’s sleeping on the wet spot!
Had sex with a woman you actively disliked?
Yes 27%
No 73%
Oh, please. Since when did liking someone have anything to do with hooking up?
What if…
You could be certain that your wife or girlfriend would never know that you had sex with any of her friends. Would you?
Yes 29%
No 71%
This looks good at first, but think about it. Nearly one-third said yes! And that includes the married dudes!
You could make love in only one position for the rest of your life? Which one would you choose?
Woman-on-top 43%
Doggy-style 28%
Missionary 25%
Spooning 4%
Interesting. Cosmo says the majority of guys prefer doggy-style.
Let’s talk about sex partners
It's pretty small...why are you smiling?
Approximately how many sexual partners have you had in the past 12 months?
None 12%
1-2 74%
3-5 10%
6-10 2%
More than 10 2%
Three quarters say 1-2. Are those guys in relationships, or are they just losers?
If you had sex with a new partner in the past 12 months, did you use a condom every time?
Yes 62%
No 38%
Mr. No had better get his act together. Don’t let him get away with that, girls.
Would you rather: the sex edition
Would you rather marry a woman 20 years older than your or 20 pounds heavier than you?
20 years older 53%
20 pounds heavier 47%
Whoo hoo! There’s hope for us Cougars!
Which would you rather be:
5’2″ tall with a seven-inch penis 68%
6’2″ tall with a three-inch penis 32%
Haha don’t they know that seven inches hurts like hell? Stop pounding my cervix!
Your partner’s pleasure
Compared with other men, how good do you think you are in the sack?
I’m in the top 10 percent 18%
I’m better than most 45%
I’m average 34%
I’m worse than most 3%
Men hate this more than anything! Best last word when you’ve been dumped: “Oh yeah, and you’re a shitty lay.”
Who do you think gets more pleasure out of sex: you or your partner?
Me 57%
My partner 43%
Men routinely overestimate how often women have orgasms. So stop faking girls, you’re giving him credit for something he doesn’t deserve!
What men really want
Which body part do you wish your wife or girlfriend would pay more attention to?
My penis 52%
The boys 17%
My back door 4%
My nonsexual parts-I have nerve endings everywhere 27%
Try taking the penis out for coffee, and be sure to ask “How was your day, peenie?”
If your girlfriend could be good at only one of the following, at which would you want her to excel?
Oral sex 48%
Cooking 45%
Sports 7%
Awesome, I was just about to start dinner!
Men’s sex fantasies
Would it turn you on to see your girl have sex with another guy?
Yes 12%
No 88%
Of course not, we all know dudes want to watch their girl have sex with another girl.
Angelina Jolie has a proposition for you: First, she wants to watch you have sex with Brad Pitt, and then she’ll have sex with you. Do you go for it?
Yes 19%
No 81%
Hmmm, maybe I’m not the only one who thinks Angelina Jolie is gross.
Sex dealbreakers for men
Which of the following would make you stop in the middle of intercourse?
If she called out her ex’s name 61%
If she took a phone call 60%
If she seemed really drunk and out of it 35%
If she farted 25%
Nothing-not even the sound of a fire alarm 10%
I guess you should lay off the burritos before hooking up. Also, does a queef count? Cuz that’s his fault.
Which of the following would make you the most uncomfortable? Dating a woman, who, compared with you, is:
More sexually experienced 31%
A better athlete 17%
Smarter 17%
More successful in her career 16%
Wealthier 11%
Funnier 8%
Translation: Sluts need not apply.
3 more musings from men
Which best describes how you felt when you lost your virginity?
It was a wonderful experience 63%
It was emotionally difficult 6%
It was a big nothing 31%
Gee, it’s encouraging to know that it’s often a big nothing for guys too.
Have you ever tasted your own, um, “stuff”?
Yes 20%
No 80%
Note to the twenty percent: Please explain.
What’s your view on the “bro-zilian” (men waxing down there)?
I’d rather not, but I’d do it for her 41%
Who do I look like-Michael Phelps? Men are supposed to have hair 33%
I’m pro-bro-zilian. A tree looks larger in the desert than surrounded by bushes-plus it’s cleaner 25%
Awwww, sweet. Forty-one percent would do it for her.
Related posts:
Which of the following would make you stop in the middle of intercourse?
If she took a phone call 60%
What?? 40% of men would keep at it?
Also, LOL at “Awesome, I was just about to start dinner!”
Diana,
Exactly! 40% of men would continue as she confirmed the next day appointment
to unclog the stuck toilet! I guess that says something about male
priorities…
One position for the rest of my life? – I totally go with girl-on-top.
p.s. 'queef' is one of the only words in the english language that i still do not like to hear…it might be the only word that makes me physically cringe…why is this? …but, it would never be a sex dealbreaker…actually, the ONLY dealbreaker i see on the list is 'If she seemed really drunk and out of it' and that's only because i'm doing this 90-day stint of sobriety…if we're both really drunk, then game on.
whoisjonray.com
Haha, yeah queef is a weird word. It sounds like it's inadvertently escaping from your mouth, which is just like, uh, never mind. But queef is sooooo much better than what we called that in my day. I can't even type it here. Believe me, queef is an improvement.
Haha, yeah queef is a weird word. It sounds like it's inadvertently escaping from your mouth, which is just like, uh, never mind. But queef is sooooo much better than what we called that in my day. I can't even type it here. Believe me, queef is an improvement.
eensie weensie peenies??
was that your quote Susan?
i see the truth will out. nice to know how you regard the smaller guy despite the white lie BS spouted in the other threads
Wow, point taken. I apologize for the insensitive language. I wrote the penis post about six months after this, and after some considerable thought. FWIW, this post was meant to ridicule Glamour’s survey and women’s mags in general. It doesn’t really reflect any truth – it’s just me being a smartass. I will delete that language in the post, but I’ll leave your comment. Again, I’m sorry. I really do mean every thing I said on the other post, and I actually just found a new link about the issue I plan to put in the comments.
Look theres no point- I know you werent being delibertely horrible, its just thats exactly how people think of guys like me.
I see how you have re-edited the post, what a contrast!
The former being the truth!! ie laughing at losers that deny they ever measure because they own such pathetic shrivelled acorns
The later sanitised version saying guys have nothing to worry about!
I clicked on some of the links left on this site and I actually heard women use the same phrases I used to hear at college. De ja vous!!
I have heard this shit my whole adult life. I once sat in a movie theatre while 2000 patrons howled with laughter at the small dick guy in ‘True Lies’. I know PRECISELY what women think of people like me.
Oh and also take note of the photo and caption- why indeed would he be smiling? how could he POSSIBLY be smiling
and for the matching question? that makes me very much a loser
……………………and as the question implied, for the same reasons I couldnt possibly be smiling
Look, I’m not going to tell you that having a small dick is not a problem for you. It’s a problem if you’ve experienced it as a problem. You know better than I ever could. I changed the language because it really was insensitive, regardless of my personal opinion of penis size, and I try hard to write a blog that’s helpful, not hurtful. I laid out my personal experience and views in the post. I was completely honest about my experience when I encountered a micropenis – the size of my thumb erect. The point of the post is that 90% of men have no reason to worry that they can’t have a healthy sexual relationship. Obviously, if I said that a guy with a micropenis could operate the same way, we’d both know I was lying. However, at the urging of a guy in the Comments thread, I googled that guy from my past, and found an online pic of his wife and daughter, both beautiful. He was a very handsome guy, by the way. He lived his life, and married a beautiful woman who fell in love with him.
It’s true that many women are insensitive, and I guess now I have to count myself among them. So are lots of men. But when you say “people like me” you are defining yourself in only one way. Who are you? What do you like to do? Are you smart? Do you have it together? You are so much more than your genitals.
Re the links left in the comments, I didn’t censor them, but they are representative of a rather crass and rude series of women gossiping. I know many women who feel otherwise. There are many women who want real love and companionship. If you can offer that, I don’t see why you shouldn’t expect it in return. Will you be rejected? Yup. So are we all. You need to decide if you want something more than to be a man obsessed with his penis. I’m not saying it’s easy, but there are far worse things that people face with determination and optimism.