Now that I’m back on the “dating scene,” I’ve realized that I’m still borderline idiotic when it comes to male-female courtships. My last relationship started off pretty typically—a dinner date here, a movie date there—but quickly spiraled into very serious, very quickly. We said I love you within two months, moved in together within five months, and were together for nearly five years. I can’t recall when we or if we had the whole “boyfriend/girlfriend” discussion, or how we knew we were seeing each other exclusively. It’s unfortunate, because I could use that knowledge now. For example, how in the hell do you know when your fun, dating relationship has progressed into boyfriend/girlfriend territory? Is it when you have the “we’re banging each other exclusively” conversation? When introductions are made to friends? When one of you slips up and and says “my boyfriend” in front of the other? And let’s say you’re dating each other exclusively (because dating, not to mention sleeping, with multiple people is extremely time consuming), when does THAT change into BF/GF? Seriously, can you tell I am confused? The guys on my IM are here to help…
So helpful!
Also I just want to say she is dead on about the career or relationship thing. The guy that I am currently seeing or not (who really knows) is currently looking for a job and I think it is slowing us down a lot.
Hey Megan! I agree, it's hard to imagine a guy looking for a job (in this economy!) and feeling super confident on the relationship front at the same time. But now that you are chill, haha, you can be supportive of him in his search. xoxo
Oh yes I'm super supportive. I also got to watch him try to pick up another girl tonight. So I'm guessing this means we are just friends. Yet all other signs point to we are more. Is there going to be a movie called He is Kind of Into you?
I hear you. How disturbing is it that the phrase “He's Just Not That Into You” sums up the dating scene? Why should women have to settle for so little? No easy fix, but it has to start with all of us demanding more, not settling. And not wasting time. Your emotions are not a playground.
I hear you. How disturbing is it that the phrase “He's Just Not That Into You” sums up the dating scene? Why should women have to settle for so little? No easy fix, but it has to start with all of us demanding more, not settling. And not wasting time. Your emotions are not a playground.
Totally understandable. I been seeing this man for two years and we met right before the economy collapsed! He was pursuing me until everything else fell apart. He was out of it for the first 6 months and after that things started to progressed slowly. He is always worrying about financial issues and he is old fashioned which is nothing wrong with that. So during those tough times I decided to build up our friendship, trust and to stand by his side. Men like it when women stand by their sides during difficult times. He has tried to brush me off early on since he knew he wasn’t able to give me what I want but that was totally ok because I was very young and why rush? I see couples who been married for 50 years and what was their first years were like? Instead I stood by his side and our friendship blossomed! I noticed that a lot of women are pushy and worrying so much about the tittle early on in the relationship. Women don’t need men since they can be financially independent so they have higher standards where men are not quite use to that and are so use to being man of the house. I see a lot of women being single in their 30s because they think, I can do better, don’t make excuses for him girl, or f*ck it…NEXT! Well we have to compromise if you don’t want to be single. Ladies I suggest you to take this economy crisis as an opportunity to stand by your man and have him grow on you. Be patient.
The man I been seeing for two years now finally said the L word and has been talking about marriage, kids and moving in to a bigger place. I knew he was it when I first laid my eyes on him and patience and building the friendship is key. You have to build the foundation before building a stable comfy home. Same as a relationship. There are a lot of women out there and there is competition so building up a friendship is a good way for him to trust him and care for you over time.
@Alison M
Excellent advice here, thanks for sharing your story!