Breakup Survival Playlist #4: Boiling the Bunny

 

“Revenge is sweet and not fattening.”

 

Alfred Hitchcock

 

 

 

 

I’m not advocating real acts of revenge against someone who has broken your heart; that would make you look like a pathetic and disturbed individual. As I’ve said before, “Don’t get even, get even better.” But that doesn’t mean a fantasy life filled with schemes of sadistic torture against the perp can’t be immensely rewarding. You’re just not allowed to let on.

BTW, I’ve had some questions about boiling the bunny, so here’s the reference for you younguns. It’s from the 1987 movie Fatal Attraction. As Glenn Close revs up her psycho act against Michael Douglas, his wife and child return home to find the pet rabbit simmering away on the stove.

When you’re sick and tired of grief, and have moved on to feeling really, really pissed off, here are the songs to accompany your murderous imaginings. That last one Fireman just kills me. I think it has to be the greatest revenge song ever. Here’s an excerpt:

Dreamed I was a fireman.
I just smoked and watched you burn.
Dreamed I was an astronaut.
I shot you down like a juggernaut.
Dreamed we were still going out.
Had that one a few times now.
Woke up to find we were not.
It’s good to be awake.
Dreamed I was a tidal wave.
I ravaged your coast,
There were no survivors.
Dreamed I was your landlord.
I showed your place when you had lovers.
If I was a vampire,
I wouldn’t suck your blood.

 

Isn’t that sweet?

 

1. So What, Pink
2. Don’t Speak, No Doubt
3. Don’t Think I’m Not, Kandi
4. Hit ‘em Up Style, Blu Cantrell
5. F*ck It, F*ck You Right Back, Frankee vs. Eamon
6. Love is a Battlefield, Pat Benatar
7. It’s Not Right, But It’s OK, Whitney Houston
8. Ring the Alarm, Beyonce
9. You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette
10. Stronger, Britney Spears
11. Caught Out There, Kelis
12. You’ll See, Madonna
13. Picture to Burn, Taylor Swift
14. At Your Funeral, Saves the Day
15. Gives You Hell, All-American Rejects
16. The Way I Loved You, Taylor Swift
17. Seventy Times 7, Brand New
18. Thanks for the Memories, Fall Out Boy
19. You’re So Gay, Katy Perry
20. Fireman, Jawbreaker

Related posts:

1. Breakup Survival Playlist #1: Shock and Awe
2. Breakup Survival Playlist #5: Seasonal Affective Disorder
3. Breakup Survival Playlist #3: Making Deals with the Devil
4. Breakup Survival Playlist #6: Time to Kick Ass!
5. Breakup Survival Playlist #2: Tornado Alley

Tags: Alanis Morrissette, All-American Rejects, Beyonce, Blu Cantrell, Brand New, breakup, Britney Spears, dumped, Fall Out Boy, Fatal Attraction, Frankee vs. Eamon, Glenn Close, Jawbreaker, Kandi, Katy Perry, Kelis, Madonna, Michael Douglas, No Doubt, Pat Benatar, Pink, pissed, Playlist, revenge, Saves the Day, songs, taylor swift, Whitney Houston