Who Would You Do? (and Other Fun Girl Games)
Fire Drill, The Office
During the episode The Fire in Season 2 of The Office, the employees get stuck waiting outside for the Fire Department. To kill time, Jim suggests a game of Who Would You Do? Kevin, always horny and socially clueless, immediately chooses Pam. Awkwardness ensues.
The game continues:
Michael Scott: Roy! Who’d you do, Roy?
Roy: Oh, I got it! What’s the name of that, uh, tight-ass Christian chick? The blonde?
Angela: [angrily] My name is Angela.
Roy: [without shame] Hey, Angela! [gesturing to himself] Roy. Nice to meet you.
Michael Scott: Aaaaall right, who’s next? Who’s next, who’s… Jim! You’re next! Who’d you do?
Jim Halpert: [There is an awkward pause] Uh, Kevin. Hands down. Yeah, I mean, he’s really got that “teddy bear” thing going on, and afterwards we could just watch bowling.
Michael Scott: Well I would definitely have sex with Ryan.
Love that Michael Scott! We’ve all played games like this to kill time, or just waste it. It’s most fun when a few beers have been consumed, but I love to sit around with the girls and play “what if” games. They’re great in the car on roadtrips, and we always laugh a ton.
One girl told me a popular game among her friends is “F**k, Marry or Kill?”:
One person names three people, and then everyone has to take turns assigning a verb to each guy: “Uh, I guess I’ll f**k Ryan, marry Jim and kill Dwight.” (Oh bummer, confession: there is not a single male on The Office I would f**k except Jim, and I can’t choose him twice.)
Over the years I have invented a few games of my own in moments of sheer boredom and inappropriateness, and I have had many bellylaughs playing them.
Desert Island
No, this isn’t the one where you choose three things to take to a desert island. In my version, I name a guy, and you have to tell me how long you could hold out before hooking up with him on a desert island. Your real relationship status is part of the deal, so if it would mean cheating, you need to take that into consideration. In fact, you might say, “I’d hit him in 24 hours, hopefully before we were rescued.” Or, “He’s gross, but I’d bet that after six weeks, I’d be eager.” I used to play this game with my daughter. (Uh….I just realized that sounds totally age-inappropriate. Please be assured that I didn’t introduce my daughter to this game until she was, like, 15. That’s OK, right?) Usually she would exclaim, “Never!” so I had to invent a new game with higher stakes.
Nuclear Winter
In this game you pretend there has been a nuclear war and there are only two survivors, you and one guy. For this game to work, the guy has to be gross (having earned a “Never!” in Desert Island), although Sexy Ugly is perfectly OK. In fact, most of the guys who wind up in this game are indeed ugly, but some are sexy. Here’s the test: Would you have sex with this guy if the fate of the human race depended on it? You and he are the new Adam and Eve, and if you don’t procreate, homo sapiens dies out with you. Would you fall on his sword for the survival of the species? I am sorry to report that my daughter usually opts for extinction, yeah, she’s picky.
Femme vs. Jock
This is a fun way to compare guys. My theory is that all guys are either Femme or Jock. You’ve gotta pick, it has to be one or the other. If a guy is a mix, then the majority rules. Now, I know Femme sounds kind of well, feminine, but I like a sensitive guy in touch with his female side. I married a total Femme (I’m dead if he reads this post). On the other side are total Jocks. They too have their advantages. They’re usually not very emotionally tuned in, but they are manly. “Me Tarzan, you Jane,” that kind of thing. Femme vs. Jock is really a variation on Alpha vs. Beta males, more or less. Also, I’ve written posts on both Emo guys and Geeks, who fall into the Femme realm 9 times out of 10. I admit it, I’ve got a soft spot for softies.
Do you have any good time-wasting games to share? If so, spread the love around! Spring is here, school is nearly out, and this is a good season for road trips and robust laughter. In fact, I’ve learned that if you laugh hard enough, your abs will be sore the next day. Yay, six pack for summer!
Related posts:
My friend and I play “Hypothesis Situation” (which is really an inside joke because she once said Hypothesis instead of Hypothetical…but it stuck – what can ya do). The game is some dire situation happens in which you, the damsel in distress need to be rescued. When lo and behold two men of your dreams come down and you have to choose which one to save you (can also be played with gross men of your nightmares).
Example: You're walking your dog down the street when you both get hit by a car not going very fast. You've got a slight sprain and can barely walk – you're dog isn't doing so well…You're about to start limping towards the vet's office when John Cusack comes walking around the corner he explains that he saw the whole thing and thinks it will be faster if he carries the dog and gives you a piggy back ride…You're about to jump on his back when Ed Norton comes bounding across the street…”no, no” says Ed “let me help you get to the office” who do you choose? [clearly the more crazy the situation the better...]
Oh my God, I love this! What a great addition to the game portfolio! Just for the record, I would choose John Cusack (Say Anything era, not Iraq war widower era – he hasn't aged so well). I cannot wait to play this – John Kraskinski vs. Taylor Kitsch (Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights). I don't know how to choose! Pitting two guys against each other = brilliant.
I still love John Cusack in any of his eras! I had a boyfriend once mainly because he reminded me of the Say Anything era. Of course Say Anything was 19 years old and that wasn't that much fun after a while.
But to get back to the topic at hand. I like to play a game called: TYB. It stands for: There's your boyfriend.
It works like this: You're walking/driving/biking with your friend. You see a guy that is totally strange looking. Like the old hippie in a thong on his bike and perched atop his white dreds is his pet parrot. Well, one friend of the other calls out TYB. Whoever calls it first “wins” that round. The point is to call as many TYBs as possible.
This is essentially the sexed up version of punch buggie minus the punches.
Once you've mastered the TYB level, you can play it with men. TYG: There's your girlfriend about the girl in the patent leather pants and the platforms and giant hair that makes her look like she might topple over at any time.
Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything is one of my favorite guy characters of all time. I love TYB! Haha, that sounds like so much fun. And I can think of one guy I'd like to yell TYG at when he is with his real girlfriend.
Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything is one of my favorite guy characters of all time. I love TYB! Haha, that sounds like so much fun. And I can think of one guy I'd like to yell TYG at when he is with his real girlfriend.