How do Penises Really Feel About Condoms?

March 27, 2009


So pretty and colorful!

So pretty and colorful!

” I worked with Freud in Vienna. We broke over the concept of penis envy. He thought it should be limited to women. “


Woody Allen, Zelig


I have penis envy. And I’m not ashamed. I think Freud was right about that. If I had a penis I would shoot it like a gun. That would be my plan. The Frisky had a hilarious post about this a while back, asking people to comment on what they would do if they had a penis for a day, and my absolute favorite was a woman who said she would spend the day “slapping it on counters and stuff” and “poking it in holes.” That’s priceless.

As part of my penis fascination, I have always wondered just how different sex feels to guys with or without a condom. Someone once told me it’s like trying to pick up a dime with latex gloves on, but I don’t buy that. Please, that’s ridiculous. I mean, condoms are so thin, how much difference could it possibly make? Today I stumbled across a He Said/She Said at College Candy that is all about who is in charge of birth control, and it was pretty interesting. But what I found really captivating was the following excerpt about how guys feel about condoms:




Wayyyyyyyyyy different? That’s ten y’s! So there you have it. Now, having said that, until you know that penis is squeaky clean, you are not to offer the wayyyyyyyyyy better sex. Randos require the condom every single time. And if you’re getting into the habit with a particular penis, tell that penis to go get tested. Once you know it’s wayyyyyyyyyy healthy, you can make his day. OK? Promise me.

Guys? Weigh in! How much difference does it really make?

  • Been using em my whole life.
    Married and still use em (but usually just near the end… I know it’s not recommended)

    • susanawalsh

      Glad to hear that, makes it easier for the women! As for putting them on late, OK for you with a monogamous relationship. Dangerous for singles, tho. Thanks for commenting!

  • Bob

    I’d probably add a few more y’s to the wayyyyyyyyyy better line. For me, no comparison. But then, it’s the world we live in today. Using a condom is just required, period. As for telling the penis to go get tested, let’s remember that this works both ways…that vagina needs a clean bill of health as well.

    • susanawalsh

      That is veryyyyyyyyyy true! No one gets a pass on the STD testing. Interesting, tho. One guy just told me on Twitter he can barely tell the difference. I guess everyone is different? I think it’s fair to say there’s not a woman on the planet who could tell the difference, so it kinda sucks for you guys.

      • Oh my gosh. Am I the one woman on the planet who can tell the difference? Wayyyyyyyyyy different. I agree with the men. Which is why, at this juncture in my life, I’ve given up on hooking up and want to have hot condomless relationship sex. I just have to figure out what to do about not getting preggers cause I hate being on the pill. Ideally I’d like a guy with tied tubes.

        • susanawalsh

          Are you serious? You can tell the difference? You’re probably one of those lucky girls who enjoys her G-spot too…

        • YES I AM! Dang it! I thought my clit didn’t work for a long long time cause I had to get penetration to have an orgasm. I wished guys would quit fiddling around down their with their fingers and tongues and just put it in already.

          I knew I was in the minority but I didn’t know I was almost obsolete!

        • susanawalsh

          Well, I think you are lucky. I guess Murphy’s Law would say that you would always wind up with the guy who loves to go downtown, while women like me wind up with the dude who is all about the thrusting.

  • JJ

    Sex without a condom isn’t enjoyable when you face the serious prospect of unplanned parenthood, especially for young adults. For some, the pill is just inaccessible (religious conflict, money, etc.). Thanks, but I’d rather wrap it up.

    • susanawalsh

      JJ, I hear that. Fair enough. It def makes sense for guys to be careful – 18-21 years of child support from a hookup is a steep price, not to mention the complications of a relationship with a child you didn’t intend to father. I know I’ve told my own son – “you need to understand that “choice” is 100% up to her.” Wrap it up – excellent advice.

  • A dude that produces a condom somewhere during foreplay is super hot. I feel taken care of and protected. Its chivalrous. I read the entire conversation about condoms and I think that guys should totally carry several condoms! Its not arrogant at all! Plus, they don’t need to pull a costco sized box of condoms out of their briefcase or anything. Just take one out at a time. I’m never going to think a guy is cocky in the middle of my 5th orgasm. Well, he might be COCKY. But in a good way.

    • susanawalsh

      Hahahaha, I would love to see some dude whip out a Costco-sized box of condoms. If you ever see that, you know you’re having sex with an optimist.

    • More often than not, upon production of a condom, I was accused of being prepared. As in, I must have thought that this was going to be happening before leaving the house. As in, I must have thought she was some kind of slut. ….. huh??

      How to explain… hmm. Fill a 5-gallon bucket with warm water (98.6 degrees), laundry soap and a lot of small, full water balloons. Find and put on a tight, thin rubber glove, and make a fist. Note that you now have a penis arm. Turn the lights off so you can concentrate on the touch sensations. Maybe put on some Massive Attack. Slowly penetrating the contents of the bucket and note the sensations. Note the feeling at your hand, and slowly proceed up the length of your arm… really feel what is happening. There are muted textures and temperature changes. Now take the glove off and do it again. Everything is more pronounced. Compare. Contrast. Try to ignore what you are actually doing. Imagine what it would feel like if the same sensitivity in your clitoris was on the end of your fist, and about half that up the arm. That might give you a general idea of the difference.

      • susanawalsh

        Oh man, halfwaying it sounds anticlimactic to say the least. So does the orgasm feel half as good also? Overall, I’d say that there’s a lot to be said for getting into a monogamous relationship, getting tested, and taking the gloves off.

  • If only costco would sell a giant sized variety pack!