How to be a Femme Fatale and Grab the World By the Balls
In the 1930s, there were women who knew how to grab the world by the balls to get what they wanted. Their power to seduce both on screen and in life was formidable. These femme fatales are still relevant role models. They were a brainy, brassy mix of drive and subtlety. They had lots of attitude, and they displayed it artfully. They used their femininity to their advantage.
Somewhere along the line we lost sight of our womanliness. We forgot that we can be sexy no matter what we look like, or how little flesh we reveal. Sexiness resides in the brain and the heart, and these women understood that. They understood the power of mystery and anticipation. They knew when to hold back, and when to go in for the kill.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the sirens of Hollywood’s Golden Age. Read ‘em and learn.
Bette Davis
“A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else.”
“From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it.”
“Hollywood always wanted me to be pretty, but I fought for realism.”
“I often think that a slightly exposed shoulder emerging from a long satin nightgown packs more sex than two naked bodies in bed.”
“I was thought to be ‘stuck up.’ I wasn’t. I was just sure of myself. This is and always has been an unforgivable quality to the unsure.”
Marlene Dietrich
“Darling, the legs aren’t so beautiful, I just know what to do with them.”
“Without tenderness, a man is uninteresting.”
“Grumbling is the death of love.”
“Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.”
Katherine Hepburn
“Plain women know more about men than beautiful women do.”
“If you always do what interests you, at least one person will be pleased.”
“Never complain. Never explain.”
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything.”
Ingrid Bergman
“Be yourself. The world worships the original.”
“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”
“I was the shyest human being ever born, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn’t shut up.”
“You must train your intuition–you must trust the small voice inside you that tells you exactly what to say, what to decide.”
“I don’t regret a think I’ve done. I only regret the things I didn’t do.”
Greta Garbo
“I’m afraid of nothing except being bored.”
“Is there anything better than to be longing for something, when you know it is within reach?”
“I don’t want to be a silly temptress. I cannot see any sense in getting dressed up and doing nothing but tempting men.”
“I want to be left alone.”
Mae West
“Don’t keep a man guessing too long–he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.”
“I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself.”
“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”
“It’s not what I do, but how I do it. It’s not what I say but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.”
“Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
Here’s my take away:
- Be interesting.
- Please yourself.
- Be independent/self-sufficient.
- Be strategic.
I’d be willing to bet that not one of these women ever cried when a man didn’t call, or tolerated one minute of disrespect. Women this strong won’t appeal to every guy, but only to the guys worth knowing.
Can you be this strong? How about this: spend the next month emulating these women and let me know what happens. If you don’t see a marked difference in the way the world treats you, I will give you a million dollars.
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I just wrote a post that was along the same lines. Tonight when I was walking to the subway this guy asked his wife why girls think it is clothes that make them beautiful. It was in reference to a bunch of girls that were dressed in too little… I thought it was a really interesting question and strikes at this idea that what gets a guys attention is what you wear. Really it is about how you wear it. If you are confident and happy with who you are you are much more beautiful to everyone.
Well said. Re women wearing too little, I once saw advice that I thought was really sound:
“If you are lucky enough to have been blessed with a great body, and feel good about your breasts, bum and legs, resist the temptation to feature all three at the same time. Focus on enhancing one thing when you dress. Leave something to the imagination.”
For those of us not lucky enough to have all three, I still think it's about suggestion rather than exclamation. For me, it has always been about the boobs, but a hint gets the job done with dignity.
It's just that I adore katherine hepburn…
In highschool, I had this girlfriend who explained the best way to dress slutty without being too slutty. which pretty much is the same advice as you gave, Susan. She said wear either a tight shirt or a tight skirt/pants. just don't do both. I tend to show off middrift (not in the “oh, bra's a aren't shirts?” kind of way but in the “here's a glimpse of my stomache” kind of way.
Ooohhhhh, you are one of those lucky girls with a flat stomach! I would show that off too — that is a great look. Glimpse is the perfect goal: a glimpse suggests there is something more to discover. I think it's about engaging the imagination…
This “theme” has been resonating with me as I have watched some things my girlfriends are going through lately. I just thought I'd draw your attention to a recent scene in my latest TV show addiction, Mental.
Synopsis: Wicked-smart, gorgeous blonde, super confident female neurosurgeon is sleeping with hot shrink at same hospital. He has commitment issues (no pun intended), and whenever she attempts some emotional honesty, AKA “the talk,” he verbally runs away. In this latest episode, she calls him on it and then picks up her bag to leave. He says, don't go, and she says, give me one reason to stay. He says, I want you to stay, and she says, tonight? tomorrow? He says, yeah. She says, and after that? And he waffles and has no response. So she looks him square in the eye and says, “It's not good enough.” And she leaves.
I'm just pointing it out because it's such a great illustration of what I SHOULD HAVE DONE on far too many occasions. Every woman should see this scene and master that phrase, as well as the confidence it takes to be okay with walking away and not looking back.
It's on hulu.com, episode name is Coda, last two minutes of episode, in case you care to look for it.
c, thanks for leaving a comment, I'm definitely going to have to check out that scene. It is so hard to say that to someone you really want, but I have so much admiration for a woman who respects herself enough to do it. I think we all need to know what our walk-away point is, and we need to be strong enough to see it through.
c, thanks for leaving a comment, I'm definitely going to have to check out that scene. It is so hard to say that to someone you really want, but I have so much admiration for a woman who respects herself enough to do it. I think we all need to know what our walk-away point is, and we need to be strong enough to see it through.
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