Why Relationships are Like a Bacon and Egg Breakfast

Posted by Susan Walsh on Apr 27, 2009 in What Guys Want |

bacon-eggsI’m starting you off this week with a clever and insightful bit written by Mike Alvear, a clever and insightful guy. His bio:

Co-host of HBO’s The Sex Inspectors, author of Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon, columnist for Manhunt.net and principal passenger on the Grey Goose bus.

He’s got a great blog that I’m going to be writing for, and I am so psyched about it! He’s got some heavy hitters writing for him, so I am honored to be keeping their company. 

Why Relationships are Like a Bacon and Egg Breakfast

by Mike Alvear

My friend Lisa Daily, author of Stop Getting Dumped, Fifteen Minutes of Shame, and How to Date Like a Grown Up, asked my opinion on 7 Common Dating Myths for an article just published in LavaLife, the giant dating service for men, women and gays (wait, is gay a gender?).

Here are my one line answers.

1) Women only want to date men with money.

No. They want to date men who have a car but don’t live in it.

2) Men only want to date women who are beautiful.

Yes. It’s not that we don’t want the rest of the goodies-personality, kindness, humor, etc. It’s that we want all those gifts wrapped in a beautiful box. (!)

3) Men want sex, not commitment.

We like to think about relationships like a bacon and eggs breakfast: The chicken was involved; the pig was committed. We’d rather be the chicken.

4) The nice guys don’t get the girl.

Bull. Nice guys EVENTUALLY get the girl.

5) The longer you’ve been dating, the more likely the chances you’ll get married.

No. Once you past the 3-5 year phase, the chances slope down like a bent-necked pack mule.

6) Men are intimidated by powerful women.

Yes, but less and less so.

7) Love conquers all.

PPFFFT! (the sound of coffee spraying out onto my screen). LOVE AIN’T ENOUGH.

Interesting, no? He knows how guys think!

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