Do you care what a guy wears under? Women spend a great deal of time buying just the right lingerie to create the desired effect on a man. I’ve always thought that men spend almost no time buying the underwear that they find the most comfortable. I figured it was a boxers vs. briefs question, but apparently things have gotten a lot more complicated.
The Wall Street Journal online has an entertaining article by Christina Binkley, who recently went underwear shopping with her husband at Macy’s.
He was overwhelmed with his options.
“I just want something in gray,” he said several times. Jockey’s low-cut “Echelon” boxers came in gray, which pleased him, but then he began to consider shaking things up with white. His attention was also arrested by a line called “sculptured support.” He figured he could wear the undershirts on his daily runs until I blurted that they looked like ladies’ shapewear. He sped away. Later, Jim discovered that a box claiming to contain a thigh-hugging gripper trunk actually held a pair of low-rise, button-front briefs. No matter. I tried them on, and I like them.”
Apparently, male undies today now “offer the service of “sculpting and supporting muscular movement” — which sounds suspiciously like a men’s version of the Spanx body-shapers. To further flatter the male physique, there are padded briefs and “profile-enhancing” briefs.” I’ve heard some guys complain that underwear these days pushes their junk up and out. But guys are buying these push-up pants in big numbers, just another variety of plumage for the peacock to strut.
One guy wrote the following anonymous ode to boxers:
“So what are the health benefits of boxers and briefs? Let’s start with briefs… They suck the life out of you, literally. Next question. No, seriously, briefs do cause men to go sterile (in some cases). And it has something to do with the elastic, grabbing factor. Testicles were built to roam free. They weren’t meant to be stored in an airtight Fruit of the Loom Hell. Boxers. Boxer shorts are great. Your scrotum can wobble to and fro, making life grand again. I was scared when I made The Switch. I actually wore my whiteys under my boxers for quite some time. Don’t tell anyone. But when I was finally sent free and my balls were released, let me tell you, I saw God. It shook me to the core.”
Seth Stevenson wrote a piece for Slate Magazine: In Praise of Boxer Briefs. He’s got several gripes with boxers:
- Lack of cuppage: under athletic shorts, one’s testicles can gain sudden and direct access to the world outside.
- Twisting, bunching and wedgifying.
- Slit fly encourages “flop out.”
- Ladies don’t dig ‘em, especially when they burrow into posterior cleavage.
More interesting factoids:
- In a recent Glamour magazine poll, 69% of women preferred boxers, while 31% chose briefs.
- Soldiers prefer boxers. Kind citizens wishing to send care packages to our troops overseas are encouraged to send boxers, size L or XL.
- Here’s how it breaks down in terms of average number of sexual partners:
- Commando: 15
- Boxer Briefs: 9
- Boxers: 7
- At Fresh Fodder, a blog about cool things costing less than $10, here’s the pros vs. cons:
- HisRoom.com, an underwear site for guys, offers the following analysis:
1. Comes in a wide array of colors and patterns.
2. The front fly is much easier to use.
3. Easier to take off (women agree).
4. Crotch temperature stays cooler.
5. Women tend to prefer boxers on their man when he’s a little out of shape.
6. Considered socially acceptable loungewear.
7. Can camouflage a man’s physique.
1. When wearer becomes excited…, it shows.
2. The legs are open along the bottom.
3. Provides almost no support.
4. Bunches up when worn inside pants.
5. Thick waistband can cause irritation.
6. Their looseness can cause them to ride up above the waist.
1. Prevents “dangling”.
2. Won’t bunch up when worn under pants.
3. Legs have elastic.
4. Provides support.
5. Stays in place – no riding up.
6. Looks best on a guy in great shape – and women agree.
7. The choice of European men.
1. Overlapping fly is almost impossible to use.
2. Generally not acceptable lying-around-the-house wear.
3. When the elastic band deteriorates, the whole brief looks tacky.
4. Comes in fewer colors and patterns.
5. Moving from briefs to boxers has traditionally been a passage into manhood.
6. Can become out of shape and “bag” in all the wrong places.