25 Totally Awesome Things I Love About Men

June 5, 2009

menMy son is back from college, and it’s great to have him around. Most of the rebellion and conflict is behind us at this point, so we can hang out together and enjoy each other’s company. He’s a faithful reader of Hooking Up Smart, supportive and encouraging. He thinks I am way too hard on guys, though. I can tell he feels obligated to defend anyone carrying a Y chromosome. When I denied being biased the other day, he challenged me to count up the number I’ve times I’ve used the word douchebag on this blog. Point taken.

This post is for him. Here are 25 completely awesome and wonderful things about the opposite sex. They are not in any coherent order, with the exception of #25. I always save the best for last!

1.     5 o’clock shadow.

I’m not really a fan of beards or mustaches, but 5 o’clock shadow is so damn sexy! Awesome!

2.     Unconditional desire for sex.

Yes, this can be a bad thing. But there are some advantages. Guys don’t care if you wash your hair or shave your legs. They’ll have sex whenever you want to. I once had sex with someone who had a fever of 103. (BTW, that extra 4.4 degrees of body temperature was wow.) Awesome!

3.     Interpretation skills.

Guys are great at interpreting the actions of other guys. Women are forever trying to figure out how men think, and every women’s magazine has some guy on staff who explains the male psyche for us. When a dude tells you the guy you’re seeing is a shady loser, get out immediately! That kind of psychic reading is awesome!

4.     Competitiveness.

Women can learn a lot from watching guys compete. Usually they balance the desire to win with good sportsmanship. They know how to be part of a team, and they don’t take the game personally. I’ve known many women who could benefit from watching how men compete, especially in the workplace. They’re tough but fair, and it’s awesome!

5.     Stable friendship.

Guys rarely get into spats and fall out with each other. They’ll look the other way on all but the most grievous acts of disloyalty. That’s partly because they are uncomfortable expressing hurt feelings, but it results in a lot less drama and preserves their friendships over time. Awesome!

6.     Those diagonal dents that run from the hip bone to the groin.

I don’t know the name of them, so here’s a picture:

James Frederickson

James Fredrickson





Those are the most awesome thing ever!



7.     The soft spot between their shoulder and their pecs.

This is the best spot to nuzzle in after sex. It’s also an awesome place to drift off to sleep when you’re watching TV.

8.     The moments when they open up.

When guys lay their souls bare it feels like such a WIN! It’s awesome!

9.     Strength.

This comes in handy for opening jars and stuff, but mostly I just love the feeling of being enveloped by arms that are strong and capable. It’s awesome.

10.  Humor.

Guys are funny. Women can be funny too, but let’s face it, guys are funnier. Most class clowns are guys, as are most stand-up comedians. Guys are often really good at finding the humor in any situation, and they are particularly good at making fun of themselves, which is awesome!

11.  The happy trail.

That lovely hairline running from the belly button on down, like a clue to finding buried treasure. Someone told me recently that surfers in So Cal have their happy trails removed with lasers. What a shame! Happy trails are awesome!

12.  Grilling.

Guys love to cook, though not necessarily in the kitchen. Most guys don’t want to be measuring out grams of flour and vanilla. But boy do they love to grill! Grillin’ and chillin’ is the summertime mantra for many men. This is awesome because it means that about five nights per week, all I’ve gotta do is a salad!

13.  Saying what they want.

If you watch a guy, he’ll show you what he enjoys and what he finds threatening. If you ask him outright, he’ll probably give you a direct, forthright response. (That’s why so many girls don’t ask.)  Knowing that you can find out what a guy wants in under a minute is awesome!

14.  Craftiness.

Guys are crafty. They like making stuff, and they are so earnest about their projects! They do everything from brewing their own beer to spending many hours on their fantasy baseball team. They love to tinker in all sorts of ways. They will even be delighted upon finishing some heinous and dirty task, just because of the sense of accomplishment. Awesome!

15.  Balls.

I’m speaking metaphorically here. Guys feel an obligation to man up, be strong, do the right thing, even when it’s hard for them. They are required to push themselves bravely forward no matter how much they dread it. That’s awesome follow through.

16.  Balls.

I’m speaking literally here. Balls are amazing. They are so soft and unprotected, so vulnerable! And they contain the treasure of future generations. I think that’s just an amazing concept. Women’s eggs are cool too, of course, but they’re hidden. I love how balls are just hanging around all the time, it’s awesome!

17.  Wrists.

There’s something about the hair on a man’s wrist that is really very appealing, sexy and awesome!

18.  Smell.

I love the way guys smell, even when they’re sweaty. It’s musky. I wish they wouldn’t cover it up with cologne. Axe and Old Spice in particular should be made illegal. The smell of a guy’s clean neck is awesome!

19.  Easy to please.

It is so easy to make a guy feel good. When you let him know you appreciate his efforts, he makes more effort. That’s awesome!

20.  A different take on things.

Guys have a different way of looking at the world. This isn’t always a good thing (see wars). But when I spend time with men I wind up thinking about and discussing very different things than when I am with other women. Men broaden my horizons, and that’s awesome!

21.  The little boy he once was.

There’s a little boy inside each and every man. Finding that boy and getting him to show up occasionally is extremely rewarding. Awwwesome!

22.  Upper arms.

I’m not talking about big biceps, although those are nice. No, I’m talking about the inside of the upper arm, the place where hair doesn’t grow and it’s soft as a baby’s bottom. It’s awesome to absentmindedly stroke that spot!

23.  Manly noises.

No, not farts. There’s something about hearing a guy moan in a deep voice. Knowing you’ve reduced this chunk of masculinity to goosebumps is very gratifying, even if it’s just physical. Watching him turn to putty in your hands is awesome!

24.  Chivalry.

When a guy opens the door, gives up his seat on the train or makes sure that he’s walking on the traffic side of the sidewalk, it makes me feel protected and cared for. There’s something generous and civilized about chivalry. I don’t see it as much as I used to, which makes it all the more wonderful when a man makes the effort. Awesome!

25.  PENIS!!!

I’ve written before about having penis envy, but here I’ll just appreciate the penis for all its magical qualities. Even though I know perfectly well that it doesn’t take much to give a guy a hard-on, somehow it always feels like I’ve pulled a rabbit out of a hat when it happens. I like the feeling of knowing I own it, at least for a little while. It’s the next best thing to having one of my own. Awesome!

What did I leave out?

  • Decoybetty

    Regarding number 1: yes please. Regarding number 6: seriously, what are those called? my friends and I call them penis cuts.

    Regarding your son’s claim that you’re too hard on guys: The whole reason this site exists is because girls think guys are so AWESOME that we spend all our energy figuring out how to be with them. And we want so badly to be in a relationship, or have a meaningful fling, or good sex or whatever it is with you awesome guys, that our feelings get hurt when it doesn’t happen. and then we call you awesome guys douchebags because its the only way we cope.

    • susanawalsh

      Decoybetty, I know that one of my regulars is a physical therapy major, so maybe she’ll weigh in and give us the correct anatomical name for those delicious dents.

      I plan on forwarding your comment to my son! He knows perfectly well what the deal is, and why I blog, and what his sister has experienced, along with all her friends. Hell, one of his best friends was a total douche to one of her best friends!

      Having said that, I’d like to think he treats women respectfully, and I know that some guys do. They’ve commented from time to time, and I know they’re out there. Those guys complain that nice guys finish last, which I must admit, is often true. As women we need to stop going for the bad boys. There are some really sweet guys and I kinda feel bad for lumping them in with the douches when I write.

      Bottom line, though, is that guys are calling most of the shots when it comes to relationship status. So even the nicest guys are hurting girls’ feelings because they are not interested in giving much of themselves. I’m working on the solution to that, haven’t quite got it figured out. It’s that pesky supply and demand problem.

      • Decoybetty

        A. Yesterday, I made the mistake of reading “he’s just not that into you”…wow – a waste of time and made me feel like an idiot! Book 1. Decoybetty 0.

        B. Thank you for your lovely comment on my blog! Elizabeth Bennet is one of my heroes!

        C. I forgot to mention that I love guys’ hands. I don’t know if it’s the possibility that they might touch me. Or the feeling of the roughness and the softness! or the thought that they can figure out how to fix my car. but I adore them – and I can totally be wooed by nice hands. AND shoulder blades. Under a good fitting shirt. Holy moses. HOT.

        • susanawalsh

          A. My beef with the book is that the normal behavior of most guys means that he’s not that into you. Give us some hope, please! Actually, that book is more focused on dating in the 20s and 30s, I would say. I don’t think you can apply those standards to college or just-after-college dating. So I say book 0, Decoybetty 1!
          B. I am about to write a post based on a book I am reading: Jane Austen’s Guide to Dating. I think you’ll like it.
          C. Yeah, hands are good. I was torn between hands and wrists for my list, but I like what you say about all the different things guys do with hands. I know a young man who has very short fingers, all the same length. When I see them, I cannot even imagine letting a hand like that touch me!

  • Geraine

    This list is beyond awesome! As for one I would like to add, which pains me to admit, is that I LOVE how knowledgeable guys are when it comes to sports! Their obsession with sportscenter and how the television religiously stays on that channel is ridiculous, but at the same time I secretly love it. I just find it interesting how they cant spout stats on virtually any sport at the drop of a dime.

    As for the last comment you made (guys are calling most of the shots whenit comes to relationship status) I couldnt agree more! Guys dont agree with me on that and say that women are the ones that choose, but I feel that they definitely play a much bigger role than they either want to admit or actually realize.

    As usual, great work and keep em coming!

    • susanawalsh

      Geraine, I totally agree! I love it when guys are obsessed with sports, and know all the stats. In fact, I almost put that in, in the form of loyalty. I do believe my son would take a bullet for the Red Sox, and that was true even when they stank! The passion that guys feel for sports is a great thing!

  • V

    The “V” is called the “inguinal crease” aka love lines aka money line aka Marky’s mark, etc.

    Men can get them from having toned abdominal muscles (particularly the obliques) and very low body fat.

    • susanawalsh

      V, that is awesome, thank you! And I am so glad to have the recipe, haha! That is a great look, though. Every woman I know loves those inguinal creases!

      P.S. Wow, are you called V for that reason?

  • I loved this list!

    I’m the same way about facial hair…I don’t really like beards but I love a little scruffyness! Not so much the chin hickeys that can happen, but that’s life.

    • susanawalsh

      Hey, Natalie, thanks for commenting! What are chin hickeys? Is it the rug burn you get from making out with a scruffy guy? That does hurt, but I kinda always liked that redness the next day. I wore it like a badge, a memento of a really good makeout session.

      I’ll tell you what I HATE tho. Little goatees. Ew. Or even worse, just one little plug of hair just below the bottom lip. I think that is just gross!

      • Haha That’s exactly what a chin hickey is! The nickname popped up one day and my friends and I all use it now. They’re definitely worth it, and a sign of a good time!

        Little goatees are AWFUL! The longer they are the more turned off I get.

  • Morning_glory

    Decoybetty is right. I simply adore guys! I don’t even care that they broke my heart a couple of times, because I know that within days I’m gonna see a guy, find him absolutely adorable and be ready to start all over again… I love how a cute guy can make you forget all your fears in a second.
    And one of my favorite things is how sometimes, after making out in public, they have to take a minute to “put things in order down there” because they got a little carried away, haha. Makes me feel sexy, plus they look adorable when they are kind of embarrased.
    And thank you so much for your answer to my first comment 🙂 The next time I meet someone, be sure I’ll keep in mind what I’ve learned from you!

    • susanawalsh

      Haha, I love it when they get erections at inconvenient times! It really is fun to watch them squirm. Sometimes when they are embarrassed, you get to see #21, “the little boy he once was.” Awesome!

  • ThePeachTart

    I love this list. It made me reflect as I read each one. I”d like to add another one. Hands. I love the feel of holding hands with a man and feeling his big strong hands gripping mine. Also, great for finding all my right spots. With a close second foot rubs.

    • susanawalsh

      I agree, hands are major, and it seems many women feel that way. I wonder if men are attracted to our hands? Thinking about it, hands are essential from the initial meeting, then flirting, spending time getting to know someone, and most definitely in bed!

  • “Chesty”

    I am a Marine. I shared your thinking (the list of 25 things you find awesome) with some of my buddies. Your first one, the 5 o’clock shadow is just one of the things we probably will never have. So, we were wondering if that means we just don’t make your list. (-:

  • susanawalsh

    Are you kidding? There is NOTHING sexier than a Marine in his dress blues! (I’m a Marine brat myself, Semper Fi). Clean shaven is awesome too. And don’t forget it doesn’t have to be really scruffy – the slight shadow at the end of one day is HOT! It’s really all about appreciating the differences between women and men. We love manliness!

  • ClaudiaM.

    Agree with all of them!!
    I’m a sucker for a 5 o’clock shadow and I don’t mind the rug burns at all; I actually like it when a guy goes from my neck to my lips and I can feel his scruffines all along… I just melt!

    Also I love their backs!! They don’t really have to work out to get a nicely toned back.

    Oh and I can’t resist a guy with an ass. There’s not alot of guys out there who can fill out the back side of their jeans and it’s nice to have something to hold on to when you’re making out.

  • @Claudia
    Haha, I’m right there with you! I’ve always loved a scruffy face, and the burn the next day. I also agree that it’s nice when a guy has a good bum. So many have no ass at all, haha!

  • udolipixie

    #24 is dead and the reanimated version of it only comes out in manipulationorto impress not show respect.

    #2 is hilariously true.

  • Anonymous

    6. It’s called the Adonis/Apollo’s Belt

  • On #23: As a dude with a deep voice, I’ve only recently discovered its power as an element of my game (thanks to Roissy and his frequent posts on the intrinsic attraction powers of certain male attributes).
    Grilling shows not only a habit of provision and mastery of power but a mastery of the animal world itself. Many women in my life know to stay away from the grill when I’m at the bridge – it’s my Starship Enterprise, and there is no first officer.

  • This is a great post. I honestly think it is the first time I have actually heard or read this kind of unabashed appreciation of men. Haha I feel flattered and it isn’t even a compliment specific to me. I am considering putting a similar list about women on my blog.

  • Ben

    Come on, for someone who works on the internet, you should know it takes about 3 Google seconds to find out the name for “oblique muscles”.

  • John

    @Andrew lol i feel same as you, its like first time i read an article about what women love about men……. you know, what i find on most articles and youtube vids are ” 20 things i hate about men” ……glad women still love us lol

  • Zac

    “Guys have a different way of looking at the world. This isn’t always a good thing (see wars).”

    This made me lol. I wanted to argue with it but you just don’t see many women clamoring for war and shooting each other….

    Anyway, Thanks for this list. I spend a lot of time on the internet and it seems like more and more people just want to talk about what is bad about men. I don’t want to complain because obviously people can have their own opinions but it’s just nice to see someone make a list of things they actually appreciate about men. I think we get kind of a bad wrap a lot of the time.

    • @Zac

      Welcome, thanks for leaving a few comments! We have a very active group of commenters on new posts, so I hope you’ll check some recent stuff out.

  • Zac


    I definitely will check out more. Thank you. I’ll probably spend my morning off today looking through more of them. Do you have any specific ones you are extra proud of lately that you would like to point my nose towards?

  • Girlchicksayshi

    This is all soo true! I love it!

  • amanda leme de oliveir


  • Roxrules

    The name I like and saw somewhere for that line where hip meets groin…Adonis belt.

    I like that one. (Adonis was a classical measure of male beauty, maybe a Greek god or something)

  • Christina

    You have a college aged son(which makes you at least 40 years old), yet your language is so poor and your writing is shallow to the point of erectile dysfunction. I hate the fact that a lot of members from my gender still believe that we are in a way weaker than men and I believe that stems from society feeding us that idea since we were toddlers. IMO women need to grow up and realize that the perceived “difference” between the genders is JUST cultural.

  • Fit2bking

    WOW…As a man, I must admit, this is VERY helpful…and I do agree as I have or do most of them. GREAT JOB compiling this list, and the comments are great! Muscles are a combination of the Inguinal region or Conjoint tendon. O

  • Martin

    Wow, quite something, this list. Especially for a bloke. I had a girlfriend who couldn’t get enough of men’s feet, she called them root-feet, compared the veins there to the roots of a tree. She had much the same thing for hands, would watch (ogle) the musicians hands at a jazz concert. Of course she kindly taught me a thing or two (or possibly three) about the beauty of the female body, and thank you very much for your efforts. Her take on female hands however was “nice, but not beautiful”. To this day I have kept that opinion. Except when a rare pair of hands leaves me dumbfounded. Very special.

  • Anthea Brainhooke

    Number 6: Iliac furrow. They have been referred to as “running from hip to hooray!”

  • Gabriela

    I loved everything you said but please next time don´t repeat the word awesome so many times. It freaks me out

  • AmberMarie

    Haha I love everything on this list. I think one of my other favorite things is when a guy just out of nowhere comes up behind you while you’re doing something and just hugs you super tight. Doesn’t even have to be in a sexual way, although that’s appreciated too of course . I just really love that feeling of strong arms holding you close. It’s very intimate and makes me melt like.butter haha 🙂 and its even cuter if they do it quickly and give you a quick peck and run off to go do some guy thing haha .hahah oh my I hope I meet a man sometime soon , I miss those cute moments!

  • Chris

    Hey there, Susan.

    First off, thank you for an article that makes virtues of some of our characteristics that are often viewed as vices: our enthusiasms and our single mindedness. In fact, the entire article proves item 19: a little appreciation goes a long way!

    Second, about hands. I may only be speaking for myself, but I don’t think that women’s hands are something we really consider. That said, there is something interesting about women’s hands. Both my now ex-wife and current girlfriend are very youthful for their years, but their hands tell a different story: they’re the only parts of their bodies that show their ages. Do you personally find that yours reveal the same about you?

    Feet are a different matter. Women, by and large, have very dainty feet. I’m no foot-fetishist, but bad feet (you know, the sort you get by ignoring your mother’s advice to wear sensible shoes while you’re growing up) are an absolute deal-killer for me.

    Just in case you keep track of these things, I stumbled upon your blog by following a link from a blog in the so-called “manosphere”. Personally, I found all the misogyny depressing (Roosh?, Doosh more like) and find your dispensation of matronly wisdom pleasantly refreshing.

    Finally, if you fancy doing a post on the twenty five things that men *really* love about women as an antidote to all the whingeing about hypergamy, I’ll be happy to contribute.