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Guys: An Instruction Manual

what_men_want_women.0.0.0x0.400x400Here’s an article I think is worth sharing. It’s unusually good for this kind of thing. I know I can never get enough of guys explaining how guys think and what they want. Sort of an instruction manual!

What Guys Wish We Knew

By Sandra Prior
Posted: July 26, 2009

One of the great things about guys is they’re generally uncomplicated creatures and most of the time it’s not difficult to make them happy.

The exception is when it comes to intimate-relationship issues. So, as part of our ongoing quest to help you understand the male mind, we asked some guys to fill us in on what women everywhere want to know. With guaranteed anonymity they were very honest (occasionally, brutally so):

1. I think about you more than you realize. I just don’t phone or e-mail you every time it happens.

2. I never tell my guy friends details of our sex life. But I make sure they know I’m getting it regularly and I lie about how hot it is just to show off.

3. Making me ask a man for directions is like me telling you to ask another woman for fashion advice.

4. I love being seduced, so please do it more often. Always being the one to start things off sexually puts more pressure on me than you realize.

5. It’s actually not okay to pee in front of me all the time. It’s just a little too familiar, you know?

6. If I stand a chance with you, never play hard to get. I’m so freaked out by rejection I’ll just assume you aren’t into me and stop calling.

7. When it comes to your guy’s penis, remember three things: if it’s small, say it’s the perfect fit; if it’s average, say it’s huge; if it’s huge, he’ll know – but he’ll love hearing you say it anyway.

8. Until we have The Talk it’s safe to assume I’m still exploring my options when it comes to relationships.

9. Ask me to do something for you and you’ll remind me I’m a man. Tell me how to do something and you’ll remind me of my mother.

10. Anything impressive I do dating-wise I probably learnt from a previous girlfriend.

11. You may have heard you can tell whether a guy is good in bed if he’s a good dancer. It’s not true. Like most men, I’m too self-conscious to let loose on the dance floor.

12. Telling me I’m right – no matter the topic – will score major points with me.

13. The fastest way to get me to do something in bed that really gets you going is to tell me what it is and ask me whether I’m up for the challenge.

14. A $2 T-shirt that barely covers your butt is sexier than 95% of costly lingerie.

15. I’m sensitive about my body but I won’t admit it. If you point out my stomach flab I’ll probably shrug off the comment in front of you, then privately check out my stomach later.

16. It’s not a good idea to read something into every word I say when we fight. I’ll be caught off-guard. For me, it’s like trying to pass an oral exam I never knew I had to study for.

17. If I walk away from you without an explanation, I either had to let one rip or scratch my balls.

18. I only ask you to dress up as a schoolgirl to try to have the sex I never had in high school.

19. If you’re playing with me and I’m not getting hard, you’re probably doing it too lightly.

20. It’s a good sign if I make fun of you. We men only do that with people we like.

21. If you have to ask me whether I enjoy giving you oral sex then you have your answer; I don’t.

22. I’m honestly blind to reading your body language in bed. Speak up.

23. You can discover what fires me up if you can find my porn stash.

24. If I say you look nice when I show up, it’s polite. If I say it later on, it’s an excuse to stare.

25. I have at least one ‘girlie’ song on my iPod. But I’ll deny knowing how it got there if you ask.

26. I know girls burp and fart. But hearing you do it is worse than when I do it – not fair but true.

27. Next time you insist on freshening up in the bathroom before sex, make it quick – or I will probably start wondering what nasty deed you’re doing in there.

28. I pick out clothes that feel good. If you want me to dress cool, get something comfy.

29. When you get up from our table at a restaurant or bar to go to the bathroom, I scan the room to see who checks you out.

30. Seeing your feisty side makes me feel as connected to you as you do to me when I’m sensitive.

31. Looking at other women does not mean anything other than that someone’s outfit happens to be more revealing than yours.

32. Making me carry your bag in public may be helpful to you but it makes me feel like I’m wearing a skirt: emasculated. If you ask me to carry it all the time I’m going to resent it.

33. All guys masturbate. Most of us have been doing it since we learnt how to use the thing.

34. I’m totally in favor of you wearing some skimpy clothes when we’re out with my friends.

35. Want me to watch more chick flicks with you? Then don’t tell all your friends how I got tearful during the last one. My reputation is at stake.

36. When I bring up something I did for an ex, I’m trying to prove I’m good boyfriend material.

37. I know I’ll never be the bad-boy type – but please don’t refer to me as a ‘nice guy’.

38. If you hate my mother, I’ll think less of you. But if you always agree with her, I’ll also think less of you.

39. Giving me details about your period is as attractive as me describing my bowel movements.

40. When I propose something kinky in bed, always tell me you’ve never done it before.

41. Sex is much more intense if you look into my eyes.

42. Yeah, it’s annoying you take so long to get ready – but when you look so fantastic, all is forgiven.

43. Ask me how many women I’ve slept with and it’ll be low if I like you and high if I want a fling.

44. Do something naughty in bed once in a while; something that will shock me. Getting a glimpse of your wild side is the sexiest thing ever.

Article Directory: ArticleSlash.net

I’m pleasantly surprised by how much guys want women to be feisty, forthright, direct. Anything here surprise you?

  • http://savvysexperts.wordpress.com/ V

    a couple of good ones in there. a lot of those make guys seem overly insecure though

  • susanawalsh

    Right, well it's hardly a scientific list. Mostly, it does parallel my own experience with men, though!

  • Psycho Male

    I probably disagreed with it more than agreed with it but overall a humorous article.

    Some of the ones I REALLY agreed or disagreed with:

    1) Yes yes yes. I think about you all the time. I wish you were with me in good times and bad as we always have fun in the good times and we help each other in the bad.
    2) Yup.
    14) Yes! T-shirt = hot. Lingerie = what mom had for dad..
    16) Yes
    26) Yes not fair but true
    27) no no no completely disagree with that one
    37) HAH true true

  • susanawalsh

    OK, Psycho Male, how about 6? I can never figure out how risk-averse guys are when it comes to possibly being rejected. Sometimes one hears “If a guy likes you, he will do whatever it takes to make it happen.” Other times, “Guys will not make a move unless they feel pretty sure of being accepted.” Does a woman need to specifically signal in some way that she is interested?

  • Psycho Male

    Let's first differentiate between hookup rejections in a bar/party setting and “real” rejections where we strike up a bit of a relationship prior to asking someone out. Hookup rejections don't really bother me. It's just flirting and some aggressive pursuit of quick sex.

    But for real relationships, I will do whatever it takes (short of stalking and kidnapping) to make sure it happens. That said, I admit I have had a good clue the person of interest was giving a fairly positive vibe towards me and that my chances were pretty good once I started down that path.

    So your question is actually putting me on the spot. Yes I am risk averse as I won't turn on full throttle and run after the hottie blindly without some positive feedback. I might smile and strike a conversation and flirt with her, but I need something in return before I take the leap. Yes, I admit I need a hint before I start the chase.

    I have gone after those women who “did it for me” and who gave me positive signals. I certainly have not gone after women who gave me the cold shoulder. (Why would I?)

    So, (….don't know why I am going on about this blah blah blah) to answer your question… does a woman need to signal? For me, absolutely yes in some way. (A smile? A laugh? A look? Throw me a bone dammit!)

    The best answers for how women should treat men (and vice versa?) are found back in your post on Jane Austin, dating advice from a dead virgin. Sort of the Golden Rule guide to relationships. I don't think I have seen relationship advice written any better.

  • Decoybetty

    29 – I think is kind of adorable. but um, I can NEVER tell when guys are checking me out. Like never. I used to think it never happened – and maybe it doesn't, which is fine. I guess my point is – I am glad someone is noticing someone else checking me out, because I am totally oblivious.

  • http://FT.com/ VJ

    I think it's far more basic than all that. Forget the period costumes and the oh so quaint 18th c. cherubic styles & fashions of courting. If we were as good to people we liked as we are with our pets? The world would be a far better place. And thoroughly more predictable too. On all sides.

    Some other short takes that should be in anyone's instruction manual, male or female.

    1.) A nice convincing smile goes a very long way to make almost anyone more attractive. So's being basically secure in who you are & projecting positively out into the world.

    2.) So's having fun. If you're really enjoying yourself & having fun? You look more enjoyable & fun.

    3.) Hence the deep ambivalence with the experience of alcohol. Drink is easily a short cut to such heightened relaxed states of enjoyment & soft pleasure. Taken easily to excess, it can be a definite problem. But for 'mixing' of the sexes, nothing quite has been yet invented to equal it's obvious lasting powers of seduction.

    4.) The powers of seduction can easily flow against you however. See: 'Whiskey dick'. Ergo a little drink goes a long way.

    5.) Attractive as the 'good time party gal' may be to date & for a FWB relationship? Few people will long tolerate a real 'problem' lush for a serious GF. No matter how skilled or beautiful. No, not really. The guys? Somehow they hide this better than the gals, or else are better at finding 'enablers' & 'rescuers' for GF's.

    6.) The 3 rules of life: Never play cards with a man named 'Doc'. Never eat at a place called 'Mom's'. Never make a habit of bedding someone with more problems than your own. It almost never works out well, and you're constantly running to 'make up' for all their inadequacies & issues. Real & imagined. Organic & not. Material & not. It usually never ends well. (There are some charitable exceptions to this however).

    7.) Someone who does not have their financial house in order is a poor bet for a spouse. Perhaps a fun friend & a 'good time Charlie', but as a steady husband/father/reliable spouse? Seldom ideal or close to it. This is not to say 'never date anyone poor, or struggling'. Just someone who lives way beyond their means for no real obvious reason other than 'consumer preference & choice'. Given that household debt as a percentage of income now stands @ a whopping average ~130% in the US (More–160% in the UK), this explains why many women are ever more reluctant to marry. Even after bearing children with partners. A stable home life is largely dependent upon a stable income from somewhere. And in this economic environment? We've not had that for awhile. Hence the increasingly severe ambivalence towards marriage among many.

    8.) (I know, that's really depressing, right?) Well perhaps not nearly so. See that hawt guy you're fixated on? Unless he's horribly lucky? He'll not remain 'beautiful' forever. Not hardly. Ditto for his capacity for erotic exertions or inventiveness of same. Ditto for all the 'romance' you previously may have reveled in. It'll fade with time most likely. Ditto for the gals of course. So figure on a few good years and then a long time of 'stasis' or slow decline. If you're lucky that is.

    9.) [Wot? No Really?!] Umm… Yes really. The sex you're getting in your 20's will not be replicated in your 40's or 50's. (Well rarely, but not typically). Yes, sometimes it may get better. But this is clearly a sad function of having a 'dud' first hubby/wife for an unfortunately longer time than necessary. But sow ye wild oats while you can. Early & often. There's just seldom really decent extra innings in this game. Sure, the game will hopefully continue (hey we've got new drugs for this)! But mostly? You're be dodging kids schedules for the next 20 years if just married. If you're lucky. For many it'll be work that interferes with 'family life', early & often. The kids will seem like a welcome distraction for many by comparison. ('2nd honeymoon's' excepted, of course.)

    10.) [Geez, all this sounds irredeemably depressing]. No this is depressing: Japan's 2D Romances for Guys: (Via the NYT of 7/26)

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/24/japan-

    Here? We're only talking about if you're successful enough to get along & date & possibly mate!

    11.) Always and everywhere the only real question when it comes to the foundation of lasting love is a single question: 'Is my heart safe with him/her?' This is what anyone asks about any serious LTR, be it a GF/BF, partner, or spouse. If you're reasonably sane that is. It's what you're dog wants too. Love & acceptance. It's as simple as that. It's just needlessly more complicated for humans.

    12.) [Errr...so all is not Lost?] No. Just love & acceptance. Where possible. That's all that's required. From everyone. But getting there? That might take a lifetime however. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

  • susanawalsh

    Awesome answer, that is actually really helpful. It makes sense that guys need encouragement, something as simple as a look or a smile. Also that guys will risk rejection (why the hell not?) in a bar or other place where hooking up is the goal.

    One thing I advise women is to go for the guy who is signaling clearly from the get-go that he likes you. (Talking about relationships here.) He's calling, enjoying your company, not playing any games. My rule is that if a guy is making you wonder if he likes you, either he doesn't or he's manipulative. FIDO (F**k It Drive On).

    But there's a whole mentality among some guys (Pick Up Artist community) that advocates putting a girl down, ignoring her, etc. as the means to winning her over. I think the guys falling into that are young, Tucker Max-worshipping knuckleheads who have read The Game by Neil Strauss, etc. The problem is, these techniques are effective or they wouldn't be used. That means it's up to women, as per usual, to set the limits.

    Thanks for the Jane Austen post plug :-)

  • susanawalsh

    I agree that this is nice! Also it goes with 34 – OK to look sexy when you're out with his friends. In my experience, most women are not really aware of being checked out in most cases. I think the point here is that guys are aware of when other guys do it, and they like it when they are out with a woman who commands the attention of other men. Then your date gets to sit their fanning his peacock feathers, proud to have the pretty girl on his arm. That is kind of adorable.

  • susanawalsh

    VJ, this comment is full of wisdom, though I'll take issue with 8 and 9. I agree that the frequency of sex decreases from the early days in any long-term relationship, and the arrival of kids dampens the urge significantly, but I see that as just a normal part of the life cycle. I don't think it has to mean a long period of stasis or decline. I'm hoping to go into extra innings when I'm old but still feisty!

  • ThePeachTart

    This was great Susan and as always thought provoking. I gave you a shout out on my recent post so thanks for the inspiration from a prior post that I still love.

  • susanawalsh

    Thanks, Peach Tart, yay! I'm gonna go check it out right now!

  • http://www.raptitude.com/ David Cain

    A few of them had me scratching my head but I think most of them were right on. About number six, I agree, but that could just be me. As far as I'm concerned, hard-to-get is an obnoxious game that makes me feel manipulated. I'm all for being genuine, and I don't feel so great jumping through hoops to boost your ego. If you like me, what's wrong with not hiding it?

  • hambydammit

    I think “hard to get” gets more annoying the older a man gets. When I was young, I was willing to play whatever game a girl wanted to play if I had my heart set on her. As I've gotten older, my tolerance has gone way down.

    I think the harsh bottom line is this: Older, experienced men know they're going to have to jump through plenty enough hoops AFTER the relationship gets going. They just aren't willing to waste time figuring out what a girl is up to if it isn't obvious.

    Then again, maybe that's a self-confidence thing, too. It's not that I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I've learned a thing or two since my college days — in the bedroom and out — about being a quality boyfriend. There's a certain sense that I'm going to give a girl a couple of chances, and if she doesn't take them, there are lots of other women out there who will. It may sound callous, but when I don't know anything about you because you're busy being coy and elusive, your looks just aren't enough to carry the day. There are ten other girls as hot as you that I can talk to who may be more interested in honesty than following “The Rules.”

  • susanawalsh

    David, I am so glad to have the Raptitude blogger commenting! My guess is that playing hard-to-get is distinctly correlated to age. College kids do it a whole lot, but as they mature throughout their 20s, and finding a life partner becomes a real goal, it becomes such a ridiculous waste of time and energy. Pretending to be the less interested party is all about gaining the upper hand, and if you do that too much, you've gotten the upper hand, but invariably have no relationship to show for it.

  • susanawalsh

    Hamby (another commenter called you that, and I do like the nickname!), you said the magic words: Quality Boyfriend. The men and women best at game playing are not Quality relationship material. They're just good at being players. I agree that life is too short to be fretting over whether to call on day 3 or 5, and whether to accept an invitation as late as Thursday for Saturday. Are you kidding? Call me on Saturday with an awesome suggestion, and if I'm free, I'm down! I do think it's tied in to self-confidence – the most pathetic characters are the ones pulling all these moves (think Tucker Max).

    What do you mean about jumping through hoops AFTER getting into a relationship? Grrrr. Are you saying that all women are high maintenance? Because I take issue with that. Maybe being in love means that both parties are willing to jump, and ask, “How high?”

  • hambydammit

    Well, women have to jump through hoops during a relationship, too. I basically just mean that compared to getting into a relationship, keeping one going is a lot more work with a lot of its own annoyances. After the honeymoon endorphins wear off, we discover that our girlfriend wasn't *really* ok with monday poker night with the guys… she was just letting it slide, figuring things will change. She really hated the fact that we don't make our beds, or that we have been known to leave things in our fridge for a couple of months before throwing them out. In other words, the things that made us attractive as “bachelors in need of a woman” become “Shit I wish he would stop doing.”

    The short version, I guess, is that the requests (demands?) a woman puts to her man increase after it's become a “real relationship.” Men don't learn the true extent of what's required to keep a girl until after they have her. Obviously, there are women who really are “What You See Is What You Get,” but honestly… if most of them were that way, would you be writing this blog?

  • susanawalsh

    Hmmm, I was with you up until that last bit. I believe that what most women demand in a relationship has to do with wanting to actively relate. That means emotional engagement, connection, sharing. If a woman is getting that, then I really don't think she cares about your nights out with the guys, or whether you make your bed. She feels secure enough to be independent, and to allow you the same.

    I think women get needy when they get mixed messages, or perceive that men prioritize poker night, would never miss it, but make no plans for Saturday night with them. There's a whole Mars/Venus thing that goes on, and it's real. I think it's important for both men and women to approach it from the other person's perspective. It's kind of taking the Golden Rule one step further: Take the time to figure out what I need, even if it's different for you. I'll do the same.

  • hambydammit

    I think we're both talking about a real phenomenon:

    Before Relationship: Guy goes out of his way to be on his best behavior, call daily, do the little things while he's trying to win her heart
    Girl goes out of her way to be on her best behavior, shave her legs daily, watches football instead of Lost because it's what he wants, etc…

    After Relationship: Guy and girl both get tired of going out of their way at whatever they were doing. After all, it was kind of an act… just an act they wanted to do and enjoyed… but now, they like things a bit more down to earth.

    The other thing that happens is that both women and men have lots of fun psychological issues that don't really show up full force until after the relationship is going. For instance, if she's codependent, she'll be threatened by poker night, and won't understand why he doesn't want to spend that time with her. After all, he said he likes Lost. (Or whatever the hell is on TV now. I don't watch TV.)

    I know you know women who put the lock and key on their husbands/boyfriends. A few years ago, one of my guy friends disappeared from the face of the earth. His girlfriend announced to him that it was unreasonable for him to have one night a week with the guys. That was it. We (the guys) have seen him about five times in the last year. He's not happy. He loves her, but he certainly wasn't prepared for this when they were just checking each other out.

    That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.

  • susanawalsh

    Yeah, I hear what you're saying. The Before/After stuff is normal, to be expected in every relationship to some extent. But the controlling behavior is something else entirely – so it's important to be on the lookout for red flags, and get out while you still can.

    P.S. Hope your friend gets his balls back!

  • angharad

    “One thing I advise women is to go for the guy who is signaling clearly from the get-go that he likes you.”

    You know what, it's so funny. Reading your post today about pick-up artists, I was thinking about the process of meeting a guy and thinking about all of the signals men can send that can mean more than one thing. Don't push for sex, talk about her interests, work the boyish charm — those are things that a real, good, genuine guy would do, but they are also things that a PUA would do. And I found myself thinking: Damn, it's hard not to get played!

    But then I read this comment of yours, and it occurred to me: just don't waste time on someone who's keeping you guessing. One of my friends puts it best: “Ultimately, you need to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with you.” There is no incentive to pursuing someone who's giving you mixed signals. Whether you're male or female, regardless of your gender preference, there's always going to be someone who flirts back, or who calls back, or who loves you back.

  • susanawalsh

    Exactly! If you have to wonder if he likes you, then he doesn't, at least not enough. And if he secretly does, but is pretending to be less interested to get the upper hand, then you're starting off with a big lie, and that's pretty tough to recover from. How would you ever trust his interest when he finally came clean? Life would just be so much easier if we all stopped playing these games. And yet, so often I see girls lose interest in the most wonderful guys because they are “too eager.” I wish I could coach these nice guys on striking the right balance, without resorting to PUA techniques and the like.

  • angharad

    Ironically, Steal My Kisses just came on my iTunes. Ben Harper, why are you putting up with this girl if you always have to steal your kisses from her? Go find a girl who will kiss you back.

  • susanawalsh

    Ah, that's a good one! Is there anything worse than stealing kisses? Begging for affection that is given only reluctantly? Ugh, I've been in that place. Having to ask for reassurance, essentially, and getting it technically, but not really. That's a terrible feeling. But good heartache material for a song!

  • Psycho Male

    Ouch. That was funny. And true. Also great stuff from Angharad and Hamby.

  • wookie

    I think most guys who are genuinely looking for a relationship will express their interest but need some sort of signal before they start investing beyond flirtation. There's always exceptions but most guys want a signal that their feelings are reciprocated. This is just a rule of thumb of course because you'll always have the ones that give all they got before receiving a response (sometimes to the point of being abrasive and a stalker) and those that refuse to act first for various reasons (previously burned, getting mixed signals, coward, etc).

    As for myself, if I'm interested in someone I'll let her know but I won't go out of my way to put on a show for her because it's not who I am and I'd be setting her up for anger and disappointment later on. I'm a very laid-back guy who enjoys having time to himself. If I don't get a signal that she likes me for who I am then I move on.

    On a slight tangent, I find that the guys that do everything in their power to convince a girl that they're the one are usually players. You'll only meet a guy who does this and means it if he's energetic and intense on an everyday basis. He just runs on Energizer batteries and is accustomed to putting in more then the average person. That doesn't preclude naturally energetic players though.

    Apologies if things don't make sense. It's been a long day…

  • susanawalsh

    Oh, that made total sense! It seems reasonable to me that a guy would show interest but hang back after that until the woman reciprocated in some way. Relationships should be about give and take, meeting halfway, etc., so if someone is not doing that in some way early on, it starts things off badly. I hear so many relationship stories where it's clear that something was off from the start. It's a terrible waste when that happens, because everything might have been different if only the parties had been just a little more open and honest. It's all about not wanting to risk rejection, but there's no escaping that risk in any relationship. Except maybe with a dog!

    Interesting point that guys who go all out are players – like they're into it for the conquest.

  • hambydammit

    Angharad, back when Myspace was cool, I made a joke response to a quiz. The question was: What feature do you find most attractive in a woman? I answered: A profound and unshakable sexual attraction to me.

    I'm pretty sure in hindsight that even though I meant it as a joke, it's true.

  • angharad

    I agree with you, Hamby. It's incredibly intoxicating when somebody just can't get enough of you. Sometimes that's even enough to spark a relationship, even if you're not really that into it, because being wanted feels good. But I will say, a relationship built on that probably isn't going to have a very firm footing unless the object of desire starts genuinely reciprocating PDQ.

    But there's still a lot to be said for “profound and unshakeable sexual attraction.” Sigh, if only some of the lads I'd been profoundly and unshakably attracted to were as flattered by that as you are!

  • hambydammit

    LOL No doubt a little more reciprocation would make most people's world a happier place. I think I am a little jaded in a way. Maybe jaded isn't the right word… The thing is, “attractiveness” is more than a tight bod and pretty face. Put two equally physically attractive girls side by side, and I'm going to find the one who's attracted to me more attractive. And it really is attraction — it's not just that I'm being pragmatic. I find attraction to me attractive :-)

  • hambydammit

    LOL No doubt a little more reciprocation would make most people's world a happier place. I think I am a little jaded in a way. Maybe jaded isn't the right word… The thing is, “attractiveness” is more than a tight bod and pretty face. Put two equally physically attractive girls side by side, and I'm going to find the one who's attracted to me more attractive. And it really is attraction — it's not just that I'm being pragmatic. I find attraction to me attractive :-)

  • http://www.MarriedAndHappy.com Calle Zorro

    I had to laugh at #31.

    For married guys, I’d say that #4, #9, #13, #14, #16, #22, #30 are significant to them.

    One that was not on the list that I have heard a lot of married men complain about is: “Lady, I HATE it…it REALLY turns me off towards you…when you think your Dad knows everything and I don’t know anything…and it’s particularly irritating when I have suggested something and you summarily dismissed it…and then your Dad comes along and says the same EXACT thing and you immediately embrace and accept it.”

  • Rick

    90% right. But imagine this. “Girls: An Instruction Manual”.
    Yep, every guy is different. You’ll have to get to know them.

  • EM

    Many of these ‘points’ are superficial, some go a little more deep. Unfortunately media, movies, tv, and even men themselves talk & portray men as walking penises and not much more. Good men with charachter go far deeper & are much more complex, sophisticated, and interesting human beings than being just sexual. Yes, sexuality is a big part of all of us. However, I feel sexuality is so overrated, or, over-emphasized. Personally, the mechanics of sex, no matter how good the techniques, becomg quickly boring if there is no deep, meaningful, emotional connection. Love. Yes, men want to be loved & respected. I don’t see much discussion on this though, because ‘sex’ gets everyone’s attention for the moment. Yet, for a relationship to endure, its got a better chance of doing so if based on mutual respect, love, consideration, patience…i.e., sentient & sentimental pieces that are often fundamentally missing in many of today’s relationships (not just romantic but friendships & otherwise).

    I realize I’m more sensitive than the average man, granted. Yet many men feel & think along the same general lines that I’m conveying here, yet are afraid to say anything, or, want to go along with the fad of the day.

    Anyway, my point is there are men out there who are much more than just sexual hunters on the prowl. Men with charachter, decency, self-respect, kindness and love for others and who seek the same in a woman. I will choose an average-looking woman with deep charachter, trustworthiness, and stability over a mediocre-minded ‘hottie’ any day. Most good men, in general, share this perspective.