“Tis the weekend for many holiday parties. Tomorrow, when you wake up at noon, and you have a few hours to nurse that hangover or just chill before the next crazy outing, check out some worthwhile links:
I. Hamby Dammit, a blogger and regular commenter here, was inspired by yesterday’s post about Meghan being in a “Whatever” relationship and wondering what to do about it. He left some really good comments on HUS, but then he also went and wrote about relationships on his own blog. It’s well worth a read, from the perspective of a very smart, mature guy. Lots of good stuff for women and men to ponder. Check it out by clicking here. Many thanks to Hamby for all of his great contributions to our discussions about relationships.
II. I received the nicest comment today from a reader and fellow blogger. Kallay left this comment on that same post that featured a letter from Meghan:
Your blog has inspired me to stop dating assholes, and for that, my friends thank you. In honor of that, I have given you an award. It’s on my blog.
Thank you so much for all of the rock solid advice. And keep it coming!
I can’t tell you how much this comment means to me. I’m told very frequently, by people who care about and respect me, that my efforts here are well-intentioned but doomed to be ineffective. I’m stubborn and strong-willed, so I just keep on keeping on, but hearing specific results-oriented feedback from a reader has totally made my day/week/month!
Here’s a little bit about Kallay, who writes Kallaydoscope:
- caregiver and soon-to-be-student by day, writer and insomniac by night, a creator, lover, daughter, sister, mother (sort of, do pets count?), and over zealous coffee drinker.
She’s charming, go check her out!
III. Salon has an article on whether watching porn is making guys lousy in bed. Women are comparing notes after their hookups, and realizing that guys are initiating their favorite porn moves. Certainly, the ubiquitous requests for anal sex come from porn, as does the preference many guys have for shaved pubes. Now women are reporting guys who jackhammer away mindlessly, grunting out lines such as “You like that, baby? You like that? Unh, unh.” No. We don’t like that. Since you asked.
Sex educator Anne Semans cites a question from a poll on sexual attitudes taken at babeland.com last year:
“The most inaccurate perception men have picked up from porn is …”
The top four responses from women were:
1. …how women can have an orgasm from just vaginal intercourse
2. …the idea that women love semen in their faces
3. …the notion that anal sex is sexy
4. …that women prefer huge cocks
I’ve also read that guys in college are clogging Student Health Services with complaints of erectile dysfunction. More often than not, they eventually admit to watching great quantities of porn. Now they find that a normal girl who doesn’t look like that, sound like that or behave like that is not enough to arouse them.
Stop wasting doctors’ time when they’re trying to deal with swine flu! If you can reduce or even eliminate the porn you’re watching, your sex life stands to improve dramatically.
IV. Steve Ward from the TV show Tough Love recently had some things to say that nicely complement my recent post Make a Move Girl, He Wants You To. He talks about ways that women can, and should, take the initiative when they are attracted to a guy. Reader Morning Glory recently shared that she was talking to a guy and at one point she said, “Isn’t this the part where you ask for my number?” I love it! He laughed, and called her the next day for a date. Way to go, Morning Glory!