Regular reader Lisette mentioned in the Comments the other day that she first found HUS through a personal development post. I have done some of those in the past, but they’ve never generated as much interest as other topics I’ve covered, judging by the number of hits and comments they generated. I aim to please, though, so if there’s any topic that you’d like to see addressed please let me know. I’ll be thinking more about this as well.
In the meantime, I’ll point you to the best advice for women I’ve ever seen, anywhere. Grerp is a fellow blogger and regular here, and she’s on the Blogroll, but I wanted to especially highlight her work because I think it is extremely relevant to contemporary women. She has quite a few male fans as well.
If you were born female in the mid-1960′s or later, you were probably fed all sorts of erroneous information about how life works, what women deserve, what men want, and what the future will be like. Here’s some actually useful advice to help you survive in this increasingly chaotic post-Sexual Revolution world.
Like me, Grerp sees herself as an older woman giving advice that she hopes will be useful to a younger generation. Here’s why she writes:
My primary audience is 8 years old and calls me Tante (aunt). She is being raised in a stable family with very responsible parents who are daily investing in her abilities and calling her on her crap. She is lucky – not because her family is rich or influential – because it isn’t – but because she has a stable environment, lots of people who care about her, and parents with good values. Still, when she comes of age in 2019, the world promises to be an even more chaotic place socially, politically, and economically. These blog pieces are the things, then, that I would tell her so that she can survive and, hopefully, thrive in that environment. I want her to be able to marry and have children. I want her to have a chance at a middle class life. I want her not to sabotage herself from the get go. This blog is my meager wisdom set aside for her because I love her.
In the meantime, she says, she hopes her advice will be useful:
I know nothing about trendy cocktails, fashion, the club scene, or power flirting. I have always been cautious, a risk-averse person with modest goals. Those modest goals, however, are enough to make most people – people without serious entitlement delusions – content in the long run. They boil down to a strongly connected family, responsible finances, meaningful work, and functional creativity.
If these are goals that sound desirable, I have something to offer in terms of advice, and the younger you are the easier these pieces of advice will be to implement.
Having read most of Grerp’s advice, I can only say that it is eminently sensible and appropriate for women who want to ensure that their 20s are spent in a way that moves them forward in life and love. Grerp’s posts make up a series of numbered Pieces of Advice.
Here’s the list to date:
- Stay married
- If you’re going to prostitute yourself, at least charge
- Show Some Humility
- Jettison Your Toxic Female Friends
- Don’t Volunteer for Single Motherhood
- Encourage Your Children’s Relationship With Their Father
- Do Not Be This Girl (Kesha)
- Lose the Weight
- Take a Sabbatical to a Third World Country
- Toss your women’s magazines
- Drop the learned helplessness
- Realize the clock is already ticking on your fertility
- Don’t be a tease
- Don’t be these women (marching topless to protest gender bias)
- Dream little
- Feel free to judge
- Addendum to 19
- Spend some time in the natural world
- Realize that debt = slavery
- Avoid advertising
- Say no to the double standard
- Watch North and South
- Cut the drama
- Rethink church as THE place to meet Mr. Right
- Know when to walk away
- Romance novels can be addictive
- Let the other person have the last word
- Realize Prom is just a dance
- Get a thicker skin
- Reinforce the authority of your children’s father
- Laugh at yourself first
- When managing others, observe first, then proceed respectfully
- Cheat-proof your relationship
- Count your blessings
- Hold off on the inking and piercing
- Acknowledge that chivalry is dead
- Don’t poach other women’s men
- Repeat after me: No one cares about your issues
- Recognize the limitations of male-female friendships
- Take a good, hard look in the mirror
- Don’t get a boob job
- Expect and accept that bad things will happen
- Do not attempt to get rich off your everyday unfortunate experience
- Differentiate between sexual power and real power
- Get some experience with children
- Realize that your reproductive rights utterly trample men’s reproductive rights
- Honor your parents
- Drop the princess act
- Cultivate dignity
- Limit your liquor
Grerp is very direct and she has strong opinions. (The best givers of advice always do ) You may not agree with everything she says, or you may realize that you fall short. In my case, I knew that not only had I fallen short, but that I would always fall short of a couple of her goals, and that’s OK too. Developing oneself is hard work, and it starts with as objective a self-assessment as you can muster. Grerp provides an excellent roadmap to get you there.