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Cinco de Mayo Was Always My Favorite Holiday

Thanks to Stacey for sending this along. As someone who adores margaritas, frozen, with salt, I highly recommend them, in moderation. Beware the brain freeze.


Important Women’s Health Issue:


* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

* Do you suffer from shyness?

* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?


If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.


Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.


Side effects may include:

- Dizziness

- Nausea

- Vomiting

- Incarceration

- Erotic lustfulness

- Loss of motor control

- Loss of clothing

- Loss of money

- Loss of virginity

- Table dancing

- Headache

- Dehydration

- Dry mouth

- And a desire to sing Karaoke


WARNINGS:

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas.

  • http://www.decoybetty.com Deidre

    It’s like Marshall says “Margaritas make me sexy.”

  • Aldonza

    Ah tequila…my old friend and nemesis. Personally, I say skip the sugared lime juice and go straight for the lime and salt.

  • Kathryn

    Who doesn’t love a good ‘rita?

  • http://dalrock.wordpress.com/ Dalrock

    This is hilarious Susan! I proscribe margaritas to my wife on a semi regular basis.

  • http://dalrock.wordpress.com/ Dalrock

    @Aldonza
    Ah tequila…my old friend and nemesis. Personally, I say skip the sugared lime juice and go straight for the lime and salt.

    I haven’t done tequila shots for almost 20 years. The last time I did it was with mescal we smuggled across from TJ (seemed like a good idea at the time…). Some time after I had done the better part of my own bottle and swallowed the worm, I came to after my friends had pulled my roommate off of me. He was sober and had been giving me a hard time about a former girlfriend, and I said to him look at you, you must be 30; ever had a girlfriend? Evidently this wasn’t the right time for such honest reflection, and they tell me this is when he tried to strangle me.

    Oh well. I got a far cooler roommate after that.

  • Aldonza

    @Dalrock
    Everybody should have one good story that starts with, “So I was doing shots of tequila….”

  • J

    SW, funny post!

    @Dalrock

    I proscribe margaritas to my wife on a semi regular basis.

    Do you mean proscribe or prescribe? They are opposites. My husband hates when I drink, so he would proscribe margaritas.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      My husband hates when I drink, so he would proscribe margaritas.

      During the 80s, when we were fairly broke and living in NYC, my husband and I had a Friday night ritual. Make and drink margaritas, accompanied by nachos. Watch Miami Vice. As someone who’d grown up in CA, I make a great margarita (Minute Maid limeade is the secret) and my guacamole is also excellent, so executing this routine was very easy. I remember the food and drink more fondly than I remember Don Johnson :)