Slutty Men Know They’re Hot, Slutty Women Think They Are

June 3, 2011

From How Hot Are You? Promiscuous Men and Warm Women Know Best

A new study using speed dating data shows the following:

  • Men who hew closest to stereotypically male patterns of dating — a desire to play the field and have more no-strings-attached sex — are better at judging how attractive they are to potential dates than are men who prefer a quieter dating lifestyle.
  • Women who conform to the traditional female dating personality of warmth and trust are better at judging their own appeal than the less-stereotypical ladies, researchers report in an upcoming issue of the journal Psychological Science.


  • Men who are  promiscuous get more practice putting themselves out there than shy men. They meet more women, and develop a better understanding of what women want.
  • Warm, trusting women attract more flirtation than aloof or promiscuous women, giving them more experience with cross-sex interactions.


“Knowing your own hotness is important in dating and mating, wrote study researcher Mitja Back of the University of Mainz in Germany. A schlub living in his mom’s basement may be wasting his time pursuing Angelina Jolie, while a smart, accomplished go-getter may sell himself short in the romantic realm by hooking up with a woman not his social equal. From an evolutionary perspective, the best way to pass your genes on is to reproduce with the highest-quality mate you can find without wasting your time chasing after people out of your league.”

Women who rated low on “agreeableness,” a trait comprising warmth, trust and cooperativeness…were “hopeless” at guessing how many dates they’d score.

The researchers are particularly interested in exploring the potential evolutionary link between gender and personality.

Here’s my contribution to the discussion – (I’m thinking out loud here):

  • We know that low agreeableness is linked to neuroticism, risk-seeking and novelty-seeking personality traits. People who exhibit these traits have highly developed (or possibly overdeveloped) limbic systems and are addicted to dopamine, the “reward” chemical. Risk-seeking is also linked to high testosterone.
  • Promiscuous women are risk-seeking by definition. There is some evidence that they are also higher in testosterone than non-promiscuous women, pointing to higher sex drive.
  • The traits of warmth, trust and cooperativeness are associated with femininity, which may explain why men ask out more women who exhibit this demeanor.
  • Observation of the sexual marketplace reveals that promiscuous women of average looks are hooking up with better looking males for short-term mating. In other words, they’re playing out of their league for long-term commitment. This may explain why promiscuous women are poor judges of their own attractiveness – they rely solely on the quality of short-term hookups as a proxy for their own worth.
  • The findings suggest that while sluts may get the lion’s share of male attention in college, feminine traits and judicious selection of sexual partners will attract more attention as men enter the realm of dating.
  • Promiscuous women no longer in demand as priorities shift toward long-term mating, may flock to the spinster lit genre of memoir writing. 🙂
  • The findings also suggest that man whores know they’re hot, but less slutty guys are not as confident. The key, then, is to identify a handsome guy who has not racked up too many notches. He is an undervalued asset. He will lack the douchebag dominance of the typical young stud, which is a good thing.