Those of you who regularly comment here or lurk will be familiar with our own inimitable Munson. Thomas V. Munson was unleashed into the blogosphere by fellow blogger Private Man a few months ago. He’s insanely clever, and has won over the hearts and minds of HUS readers with his unique brand of irreverent humor. He’s also generously shared his legal acumen when it was sorely needed to shed light and reason on some controversial topics.
Last night Munson told us that’s he’s been diagnosed with liver cancer. Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family as he prepares to undergo chemo. We hope for his rapid recovery and healing.
Munson is of my generation. He came of age in a very different SMP than we have today, a time when men didn’t get kicked to the curb for unabashedly professing love, and most women still viewed sex as something emotionally significant and meaningful. In sharing his news with us, he left this comment, which I think says something very important and beautiful about love.
I was not intending to write this post as I felt it would be maudlin. I have devoted my life to being the sworn enemy of 1) anything that promotes the selling of furniture and 2) anything that smacks of a Hallmark Afternoon Movie of the Week. In this I have been largely successful; perhaps not today, at least as respects the latter.
I found this site interesting because as a near 60 year old man I knew nothing about the SMP (it was 2 weeks before Susan mentioned the glossary and I learned what that was.) But I did feel as a man who had been very happily married 30 plus years, maybe I could point the way to what I think the “goal” is, if I can use that term (rather vulgar).
I don’t believe anyone, anyone, wants to “play” at having intercourse and relationships. I believe, as Kahlil Gibran said, that even when we search solely for pleasure, we find she has seven sisters, each more beautiful than pleasure. I wanted to bear witness that if you find that person, the one you will be with always, while you both will age, a part of you will stay 25 forever. And you’ll see that in them; yes, you’ll note the years and what they do in their passing, but you’ll also see them as they looked when you met them, that part will stay alive and you alive with that. Love can do that.
And it can do more. Last night my wife and I were returning home from getting Chinese food when my doctor called ; we pulled over, we had been waiting. The results of my CT scan were the worst possible news: metastasizing malignancies on my liver, from a yet undetermined source. Together we were confronted today with the implications of that. My wife and I have been of course crying and consoling today, but she has told me “I don’t care if we live in an apartment or a tent by the Boise River, all I need is you.” It doesn’t matter what I lose – my hair, my colon, my liver-I will never lose her, nor she me. The image I have of us is (a little corny) two rocky outcroppings joined together against the ocean; though wave after wave assail us, we’re still there. I hope each of you in this noisy point in your life finds that, finds someone who lives the vows of “for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I wish for you:
To know the pain of too much tenderness
To be wounded by your own understanding of love
And to bleed willingly and joyfully
“The Prophet” Kahlil Gibran
No related posts.
{ 99 comments… read them below or add one }
No.
Just no.
The Private Man´s last [type] ..Occupy Valentines Day
@Private Man
If you disapprove of my posting Munson’s comment, please know that I asked his permission first.
If you disapprove of the cancer for messing with Munson, I agree.
Your post is fine.
His cancer is not.
The Private Man´s last [type] ..Occupy Valentines Day
I’m very sorry to read this. Courage, Munson!
Dear Munson,
You and your lovely wife and your beloved family are in my thoughts and prayers, dear sir. Please take care of yourself.
Munson – I am so sorry to see this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers until you are better, and you will get better. In the grand scheme of things, the fact that you have the loving support of someone that has stuck by you for years will go a long way toward your recovery.
I also want you to know that through all of your humor filled posts, you have done more than shed some light on our spirited discussions, you have given me hope. I take great comfort in knowing that there are still couples out there, that after decades of life together look at each other with love and tenderness. That after raising children, paying bills, and managing daily life for years there is still so much caring between two people. I want to be the rocky outcropping, weathering life with strength and determination derived from the foundation of my partnership.
Thank you so much for sharing your life with me. I feel privileged to have had the opportunity up to now, and I firmly expect to see you here for a long time to come. We all see how stubborn you appear to be, so put that to good use and get better! You wouldn’t want to leave Susan without legal council, would you?
Munson.
Don’t go gently into the night …
Stay strong Munchy. Stay strong.
I’m so sorry, Munson. I’ll add my rosary to Jackie’s.
Bellita´s last [type] ..Not Born, But Trained (Part 3)
As I said last night Munson, I know you will stay strong. My thoughts are with you, your wonderful wife, and your family.
@ Cheerful
Thank you. Thank you for the forum where I had my chance to give voice to my heart.
@ Private Man
We’ll be ok.
@ Someguy
My first words to my ultimate treater will be:
WE WILL MAKE A STALINGRAD OUT OF MY BODY AND FIGHT FOR EVERY SINGLE INCH OF IT
@ STINGRAY
I feel them; thank you.
@ Ted D
That is precisely what I wanted you to get. I wrote as part of our vows taken on August 17, 1981 “do not let the distractions and worries of daily life vitiate the power of thei act”, the acto of love, the act of pledging one’s troth before God and everyone. I meant precisely “raising children, paying bills, managing daily life”. May your life be blessed like mine.
@ Marcellus
I shall “rage, rage against the dying of the light”, and then sue Whoever turned it off!
@ Mike
MUNSON: STRONG AS A MEN’S ROOM DEODORIZER!
SENSITIVE AS A URINAL, AND ALMOST AS
DISCRIMINATING!
@ Bellita
Bless you!
@ Hope
I fell them; I’m your namsesake.
I hope everyone read that last pearl from Munson carefully.
“I don’t care if we live in an apartment or a tent by the Boise River, all I need is you.” It doesn’t matter what I lose – my hair, my colon, my liver-I will never lose her, nor she me. The image I have of us is (a little corny) two rocky outcroppings joined together against the ocean; though wave after wave assail us, we’re still there.”
Now scroll back up and read it again.
Munson probably didn’t mean to say it, but he inadvertently revealed the one thing every individual needs to make a marriage work:
Commitment. The conscious decision to remain together and the will to see it through.
Neither chemistry, nor compatibility, nor Game, nor fate, nor lust, nor sex, nor fun, nor experience, nor common desires, nor shared interests, will keep a man with a woman or a woman with a man. Even love cannot sustain a relationship.
Only a conscious commitment, decided on and renewed each day, will do that. If one cannot or will not do that, one’s marriage will soon disintegrate.
In our society, we have lost this. We have lost our ability to decide on a course of action, to remain true to it, and to see it through all the way to the end, whether or not the end is expected or hoped for.
But Mr. and Mrs. Munson’s marriage will not disintegrate. Sounds like the Munsons will be together until the very last.
I hope for everyone reading this blog what the Munsons have. But we won’t have it unless we commit ourselves to it.
This site and many others in the manosphere can show you how to find someone or attract someone to you.
Munson just explained how you keep it together once you find and select someone.
Munson, I’m your age. I’m healthy, but my wife now has a growing need for my care full-time, so I start to understand the loss of youth now.
How true. “Intercourse” is a word that means far more than just sexual congress. It’s about human interaction. It’s about living one life with another, and that’s understood by most only when that one life is threatened.
I hope that because of what you’ve written, others understand better now.
Joe´s last [type] ..Chuck Versus The Ratings
@ Deti
I am amazed at how a little blurb I inserted into our marriage ceremony has come to mean so much 30 years later. I recited part of it to Ted D. The medication is making my mind blurry or I’d recite all of it to you.But one of the things I said, in fact it’s the last thing before the salutation : “Renew each day the commitment you have made here today before us.” I also said “Love is an act of courage.”
Those of you who know the marriage vows from the Book of Common Prayer now that after the part I quoted is the vow “to love and to cherish, ’til death do us part.” It occurred to me that perhaps I could help the readership with that too-death. No one invokes death lightly but love puts it in its place. Of course I’m worried for my family, and I do not want to die, but I am not bereft. I told Susan (my wife) we can’t expect to be brave all the time; I said to think of our emotions as breezes, sometimes at our back, sometimes against.
Now the zinger. Mere death will not stop love. If I could tell you how I know this could not do it. I do not entirel know it now. But I’ve felt a little of it. I’ll let you know when I feel more.
You’re in our prayers.
Great. But don’t frame your cancer in terms of death. Don’t be acquiescent.
@ Joe
Never met a man named Joe I didn’t like. I hope so too. A lot of what gets written about here is about dating, sexuality, role play, game play-all of the various distracting illusions in the multi-mirrored fun house called “ATTRACTION”. And sure it is where people meet and and do fall in love. It’s when love wears stilleto heels, plunging necklines, throbs to club music, watches itself gavot in the wall cam (ref Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain”) But you and I know love in its combat boots, when no one’s watching, when it’s time to “all in”, and you do so without thinking, becuase without her there’s no reason for anything. and I can tell from the brief amount you’ve written if yo could swap with me, take the burden off her onto you you’d do it in a New York second, and if you were here I’d buy you a beer because next week I won’t be able to. Good on ya’ Joe-God bless.
“Mere death will not stop love.”
” …for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which [have] a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it …”
—Song of Solomon 8:6-7a
@ Gabriel
I feel them. Thanks.
@ Jesus
Got a little carried away. Thanks for help with the focus. “Suffering is an ass.” Now I REALLY wish I could needle point. I’ll have a lot of waiting time-maybe I could take it up. Pearl one, cross two?
Beats the fuck out of me.
Munson,
Is it inoperable, do they do chemo to shrink them before surgery, or are you going into surgery before the chemo?
Firstly I must say that I have read this blog sometime (6-12months), it has been fascinating beyond words. I believe I’m the only finnish person here, with Kari Hurtta.
Also I find it in tremendous distaste that I have to “concur” my acknowledgement in this fine paperi (website), that someone has met a tremendous obstacle in his/hers life and everything I might say is trivial. Nevertheless, you WILL fight it, you were funny and shall remain funny.
And tell MikeC that DreamTheater remains mighty, A Dramatic Turn Of Events is one of their best albums.
I support thy cause Susan.
I’ll eagerly cosign deti’s remarks.
Vox Day wrote about Munson at Alpha Game. Here’s what he had to say:
“Munson strikes an admirable example…Best of luck to him in his upcoming battle. The remarkable thing is that despite the turn events have taken, it is clear that he regards himself as a lucky man. And the image he presents isn’t corny at all, it is the epitome of the masculine marital ideal.”
http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2012/02/there-speaks-man.html
I’ll eagerly cosign deti’s remarks.
One thousand dittos.
Also, it’s beautiful reading Munson talk about his relationship with his wife.
@TMT
Thanks so much for introducing yourself to support Munson. It’s a pleasure to meet you, please stick around.
If you run into Kari Hurtta, tell him we miss our Keeper of Acronyms.
That’s always a beautiful thing to see. And a reminder of how lucky we all are.
@ Jesus
We don’t have a protocol yet-I don’t even have an oncologist. Tests Tues. then I think things will start shaking.
@ TMT
Thanks for your support. If the Finns are with me I cannot lose!
@ Sting
Knuckle punch. Susan is my life.
Had a bad moment or 2 this afternoon. But being able to come here has lifted a breeze in my soul. For those who have someone to love-embrace them. For those who don’t; well, it’s Friday. I’ll give you some quotes from my fave author Jamal Rumi:
“Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek
and find the barriers within yourslef that you have
built up against it.”
“What you are seeking is seeking you.”
OK reflect on those, have yourself a couple of those new fangled drinks you kids drink, and GO SEEK. “Seek and ye shall find.”
Your Uncle Tom told ya’.
I wish you the best of luck Munson. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
I have created a page on my blog just for Munson.
http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/living-like-tom/
All comments there will NEVER be censored. Ya got that, Munson?
This brought a tear
Survive this thing.
YOHAMI´s last [type] ..The herd isnt the problem.
A personal development plan in my mind is a more in depth look at one’s own New Years resolutions. It is taking a good look at where you feel you want to do some changing and in a concrete fashion outlining short and long term goals to make these changes
Munson,
So so sorry to learn of this. Some of my own family have beaten the big C. I’m praying you get to beat it too.
Much love, Jx
Ps your wife sounds adorable…
@Munson
My thoughts and prayers to you and your family members. Be strong and keep the faith.
Sincerely,
Lovelost
@Private Man
I’m so glad you made that page for Munson. He’s already acquitting himself admirably as only Munson can.
““Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek
and find the barriers within yourslef that you have
built up against it.”
“What you are seeking is seeking you.”
That was beautiful!
Wish you all the best and lots of love. It seems you have great people around you.
I already gave you a blessing. Now remember you are the general of the army of your body and you will win.
Anacaona´s last [type] ..Redefining Hypergamy: Embrace your flaws
@Munson
Thank you for sharing your story with us all. I wish you and your family the best for the upcoming time.Your strength and positive attitude are admirable and provide an inspiration for others.
Stay cool Munsun. Thank you for your contributions.
Go straight to a major cancer treatment center. It will be out of state. Network hard to get good advice about this. It matters a LOT.
Man, listen to Tom Jones, I thank my potency (in part) for him. “Green green grass, of home” “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again”, etc., Perhaps now we shall continue talking about the HUS again, huh?
The last question wasn’t meant to sound insensitive, it was ment to sound as a pseudo-relative-rhetorical question.
We have only met via electrons; but heart felt feelings matter most. Munson you have touched many lives; now feel that positive energy coming back to you. This news is only temporary – you will overcome, survive this; and THRIVE, anything else is unacceptable and we collectively reject the news and embrace you as a friend to impart strength. Love is stronger than anything!
You and your wife and your loved ones, friends far and near will overcome this!
Munson, thank you for sharing your advice and stories with us. I thoroughly enjoyed them, and I wish you the best.
Munson
Thru no fault of your own, you have fallen thru a trapdoor into another world. One where word tricks and clever evasions and feel-good formulations mean Fuck All. There is a lot at stake here.
M.D.Anderson in Houston, Sloan Kettering where-ever, UCLA …
don’t wait. Get to the life boats, now!
@ Sassy
Thanks girl. I’ve slow down enough to feel it.
@ PM
We will fight on the beaches, in the streets, in the fields, in the forests-we shall never surrender.
@ Yohami
A kiss in the mist. Thank you.
@Mickey
Good advice. Thanks.
@Jess
Very sweet. She read that with me and is touched.
@ lovelost
We feel them, and need them. Thank you.
@ Anna
I do; and I have great people remote from me, like you.
@ Anacona
The general; do I get my own chicken? Thanks.
@ Stargirl
Much appreciated Starshine.
@ Gud
Cool da’ rule bro’-knuckle punch.
@ Rum
We’ll look at all options once the dust has settled. I appreciate the input.
@ TMT
Thanks; understood.
@ sweetsue
A hug through the ether.
@Say
I shall continue as we press on.
@ Rum
We need to know what the primary is. Then we’ll launch. Thanks.
Before the Bee Gees were “The Bee Gees” i e the disco stars of the mid-70s they had some hits that were frankly kinda’ odd. One, released in 1967, always stuck with me, “Holiday”, and especially one verse. The verse goes:
If millions of eyes can see
then why am I so blind?
When the someone else is me
it’s unkind, it’s unkind.
Over the years, the line, “when the someone else is me”, has jumped out at me often when I’m reading about some misfortune or other. I guess in a sense I was preparing myself for the inevitable day such as today. It occurs to me that for now, for you, I’m the “someone else”. I really, honestly, have not felt the “unkind” part. It’s been overwhelming, and maybe I’m still numb, but I don’t have the “why me?” going at all. I guess I always knew that everyone gets a butt kicking in this world, and it’s my turn in the barrel (mixed metaphor; also raise your hand if you don’t know the barrel reference).
So sorry to hear of Munson’s news.
I too shall keep him in my prayers.
JT´s last [type] ..She made me a better man
I am so sorry to hear that Munson.
I have two pieces of advice. One is to read all the material you can about the research done in China on the effectiveness of qigong on cancer. In China they have many “qigong hospitals” were the only treatment people get is doing qigong 4-8 hours a day because they can not afford ordinary cancer treatments. Very many recover completly just by doing this. As I said, look up the research. It is mostly not thorough enough but does suggest very good results.
Secondly, go to springforestqigong.com and order on of their DVDs and practice it as much as you can. If you do it 45 minutes a day for three weeks you will feel so amazing you will want to keep it up just for the way it makes you feel and you will start to get a clue on why it can heal the body in amazing ways.
Munson, my condolences to you and your wife and best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Last night, after I found out about your condition, I went on a search, and found a great tool called “Health Care Blue Book” (1st result on Google – links get caught in the spam filter). It was developed by a doctor whose son has a long-term illness. It has information about liver cancer operations and chemo. From the site’s “About Us” page:
The Healthcare Blue Book offers a number of free resources to help you learn how to be an informed consumer, and enable you to make good decisions for your health and pocketbook.
From this screen you may choose to learn more about how to understand and document your medical needs, how to use the Healthcare Blue Book to find a fair price, how to ask your healthcare provider about getting the best possible price or how to understand and use your insurance benefits.
The Healthcare Blue Book also offers a number of resources to help you directly save money on healthcare services, including a free pharmacy discount card and reduced fees on many standard laboratory tests.
Cancer has affected nearly everyone in my family – we have hereditary colon cancer, as well as higher risks of skin, lung, and stomach cancer than average – and I know you can’t negotiate or compromise on the price of treatments. Often, you want the best of the best. But I also know it can be incredibly costly, and can get you into situations where you’re haggling with or begging your insurance company to cover something or reimburse you, at a time when you’re least able to, or least feel like it. I wish tools like this had been around for my family.
I’ll keep you in my thoughts. I hope you will fight the cancer swiftly and mercilessly, so that it never returns.
Tom, in no way shape or form listen to your doctors right now. I can’t stress this enough, definitely don’t allow them to give you chemo, one of the most important people in my life died because she followed the oncologists advice. I guess I have to give a little background:
My ex-wife’s mother loved me more than my own biological mother did. I loved her back, she WAS my mother. She was diagnosed at the same age that you have been, at the age of sixty. She was diagnosed in August and her youngest daughter was getting married for the first time in November. I told my father-in-law and my ex that if she went through the chemo, she would never live to see her daughter get married. No one listened to me, and she died after the second treatment of chemo that completely ravaged her body and mind. It broke my heart to see her go that way, she died one week before her daughter’s wedding. Thing is if she and her family had listened to me, she would have at least seen her daughter on the happiest day of her life.
After that, I was the bad guy of the family, just for telling the truth. That was the defining event that broke up my marriage.
There are things that you can do that are proactive other than reactive like all these doctors these days. If you go hardcore, you can pretty much beat this. So, I have a proposition for you. There is an author out there named Bill Sardi who is a medical doctor that has researched all the alternative therapies available and the ones that are the most effective. He wrote a one thousand page book titled, “You Don’t Have to be Afraid of Cancer Anymore”.
I have a copy of it because my next door neighbor who is seventy seven years old and who has known me for all my life, was diagnosed with colon cancer a year ago. I bought it because I love her, she’s one of the only people who gave a shit about me. She’s now cured, no chemo, no surgery and she’s doing her gardening with no problems. Send me your home address to this e-mail address and I’ll pack it up and overnight it to you, no charge.
Please and I can’t stress this enough, refuse the chemo, they don’t care if you live, they just want the insurance profits.
@ Everyone #48
I swear no more than 2 hours after posting about “Holiday”, while I was waiting to get my meds, the pharmacy played it! and I mean the Bee Gee’s version, not Muzak! Now I haven’t heard that tune in forever-wow. It’s an omen-we’ll take it as a good one.
Munson,
You are a very wise man, and I hope you’ll be around sharing your wisdom for a long time. God knows all us younger folk from 40 down to 20 need it.
If I were you, I’d be online non-stop devouring anything you can in terms of knowledge and how to proceed. I’m sure you know there are bad lawyers and good lawyers and a novice stands not much of chance distinguishing between the two, and potentially getting terrible legal advice.
Make sure you are getting the best possible medical advice.
@ JT
Thank you. I feel them-I do.
@Wu, Lindsay, Illum
Thanks for the advice. Once I get stabilized, I’ll investigate.
Munson- Very sorry to read this, and though we haven’t dialogued directly, my sincere thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Stay strong. Your words about love and commitment are spot on and really resonated with me as I read them. I’ve been privileged enough in my lifetime to watch my parents live those words exactly as you’ve written them in their 30 year marriage- they’re your age. There is much my generation can learn from yours when it comes to choosing wisely in the area of love, and watching my parents and their peers from your generation gives me faith in the power of love to overcome all.
For love’s sake, stay positive and fight that thing off.
@ Mike C
I’ll attack as soon as I get some pain control. Probably a day or so.
Thank you for you encouragement and concern.
And yes you kids do need to hear more from your Uncle Tom-and you shall.
My heart is with you and your wife. I second BroHamlet: For love’s sake, stay positive and fight that thing off!
@Counsel
Counselor,
If it would be at all helpful, I have contacts within the Mayo Clinic. Please let me know if I may be of assistance.
I am looking forward to you issuing a smackdown to cancer that makes the one you gave to Doug1 look like child’s play.
Much peace to you–
@ Bro
A manly hug in return (not too emphatic, preserving as it were our undeniably straight orientation). That was my intention when I first started writing here.
@ Lisa B
Thank you! I toss a kiss to you in the ether! Catch it and return it!
@ Jackie
You’ve just become one of my hole cards. My wife asked that I keep this reference. We may need to talk.
Illuminati
What do MDs/Oncologists do when they get a Cancer diagnosis? What do they do when a child of theirs gets such a diagnosis?
This is just a rhetorical question because we both know they rarely go the alternative route.
Maybe they would rather die than deny profits to big Pharma. If you really believe that, you are one gullible person.
Goodness, this is sad
I’ll pray for you, Mr. Munson.
Now I REALLY wish I could needle point. I’ll have a lot of waiting time-maybe I could take it up. Pearl one, cross two?
What about purchasing DVD sets? I just finished watching all 3 seasons of Land of the Lost. I’m still working on Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
OF LOVE AND LUST
It occurs to me that in my missive quoted above I may be seen to be disparaging of lust. I didn’t intend to be. I was pointing out that this site and others focus on the initial stage of the relationship, and I am at the other end, cheering you on like a swimming coach. Boy that analogy sucked. Let’s try another approach.
Lust is Love’s frisky younger sister, the “up for anything”, fast car liking, bad boy wanting, first one on the dance floor party-starting rock-n-rollin’-freak-dancing sparkler. “Starts the party”; a relationship, at least initially, must be a party, a party of 2. There is nothing as fun as falling in love, nothing, and that’s where Lust plays her part. Now that’s certainly the case for young people (arbitrarily anyone under 40) but largely true with older ones (they do get to the 401 (k) stuff sooner). And we spend a lot of time here examining Lust and attraction, somewhat the way generals play war games, and like those generals we love to bring out our war stories and relate those of others, talking “game”, “alpha” strategies, “beta” defenses, counting casualties (loneliness, despair, ennui) regaling victories. It’s wonderful fun.
As a disinterested observer, it appears that we’ve evolved to a point on this subject that roughly translates as follows: are we witnessing the evolution of a generation for whom there will be no “settling down” (that phrase sure seems dated-well, yeah, ‘cuz it is), for whom the initial stage will not be a stepping off point, but an end in itself? Susan already alluded to the different SMP’s she and I came from. What she said shocked me. I had learned from coming here (took a while) that there had been a change, but in her spare recital she brought that change into focus, jolting me like an exposed wire.
It occurred to me that IF that is the case, if the dating, STR, LTR, dating loop is permanent, those in it will be somewhat like the marathon dancers of the 20s and 30s, transforming something that is supposed to an enjoyable diversion into a grueling, agonizing, joyless, monotonous grind. Like those dancers, this will be an aspect of necessity-many dancers earned their livelihood this way. And the SMP may indeed be fun, even for an extended time. It might be hard to pinpoint when that fun ceases. But there is such a point. Some of those stuck eternally in the SMP may do by choice, but I don’t see that being the case for the majority. I’ve gotten a hint of what impels them, from reading here and elsewhere, and it doesn’t seem like choice.
I would hope for them (and you) something far better.If a relationship is a rainbow, lust is at its beginning, when first of all we are surprised it has come into existence, the colors dazzle, we wonder at it. The relationship matures rainbow-like into its arc, the lovers becoming life companions, weld as I described in Susan’s quote. And dear readers, I am here to tell you there IS a pot of gold, that mine is overflowing, I am awed at the beauty of the coins as the gleam, mingle and jingle through my hands (ref Mister Magoo’s “A Christmas Carol”, the song “Ringle, Ringle”).
What about purchasing DVD sets? I just finished watching all 3 seasons of Land of the Lost. I’m still working on Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
If he needs positive DVD’s he needs to watch Pushing Daisies that show let me a warm feeling in my stomach every time I watched it, and you are going to love the dialogue clever, funny and full of double entrees, like you :p
Anacaona´s last [type] ..Redefining Hypergamy: Embrace your flaws
Dear God, Munchy, I am so terribly sorry. I wish, hope and pray for all the best for you and your wife. I have tears in my eyes, and I don’t know what to say.
J
@ Butterfly
Land of the Lost-sounds good. I had a crush on the feral girl on the tv show although I was a little old for her-24.
I feel the prayers; they caress my tissue.
@ Anacona
Title is a little chilling under the circumstances but maybe.
@ J
Well our jr. high prom night is still on-I may need a wig though!
Thanks-heartfelt.
Title is a little chilling under the circumstances but maybe.
Oh totally missed that, sorry
.
The title will mean something else forever if you watch it I promise.
The pilot episode’s name is pie-lette.
Here is the intro:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLTisQf8M9M&feature=related
Anacaona´s last [type] ..Redefining Hypergamy: Embrace your flaws
I am sorry for the terrible news. I wish that Mr. Munson will recover his health after his chemotherapy. And I agree with other reader to stay strong. Thanks for the touching post.
Sorry for the second comment, my link wasn’t reflected in the first… Thanks again…
Astrid Sanschagrin´s last [type] ..Banc de musculation Deluxe SixBros
Oh Hell NO!
I’ve never even met you, yet I sit here with tears in my eyes. Don’t tell me that the internet is impersonal.
Be strong and lucky brother. And keep up ‘the good work’ spreading knowledge and laughter
@ Anacona
I’ll check it out. Thanks for reaching out to me.
@ Astrid
No need for apologies. Thank you for taking time to console me.
@ Just1x
Thank you my brother from another mother! You gave me pause to consider something. In the end, what are we? We are our thoughts, right? The fact that we are unmet (at least, have not met in person) is in the final analysis irrelevant. You and I and everyone here have come to know each other in the purest way possible-our thoughts.I cannot take in any information about you from any non-deliberate source- for example, your clothes, age, perhaps the car you drive. I have only what you choose to say, and even that is considered by you much more carefully here than in a conversation. And that is very revealing. I noticed that you have something of a chip on your shoulder over what I vaguely sense is the British version of “class warfare”. I very much sense you’re a “fight the power” kind of guy. I can tell that your energies are very strongly directed when you choose them to be, and you are intense.
I think you and I first became acquainted in my dust up with PRay over my use of Jesus *** Christ; maybe Ray was on to something.
They don’t call this the “vale of tears” for nothing. I am touched that you shed a few for me. I will be strong my brother and prove myself worthy of those tears. I am shedding some now in return.
with affection
Tom
Is there any chance, Susan, that you’d look into the phenomenon of having a chance but not taking it? I believe there are many men, such as myself, that has been presented with ample possibilities, (I wrote myself into a cul-de-sac there haha), but I have always said no.
The difficulty of mine is that, have I done wrong? Or have I done right? ‘Tis perspective I cannot perceive. Also, perhaps the reason, why I divorce myself from labels such as the Alpha And The Omega. I just cannot see myself within those names/labels.
MGTOW perhaps? Which is a name, among others, I detest.
Also, pardon me for the time I use, but I think one should see some poetry every now and then (I detest it usually, but Leonard Cohen and other greats are my weakness). Thus I find this fitting:
Wow, I’m sick of doubt
Live in the light of certain
South
Cruel bindings.
The servants have the power
Dog-men and their mean women
Pulling poor blankets over
Our sailors
I’m sick of dour faces
Staring at me from the tv
Tower, I want roses in
My garden bower; dig?
Royal babies, rubies
Must now replace aborted
Strangers in the mud
These mutants, blood-meal
For the plant that’s plowed.
They are waiting to take us into
The severed garden
Do you know how pale and wanton thrillful
Comes death on a strange hour
Unannounced, unplanned for
Like a scaring over-friendly guest you’ve
Brought to bed
Death makes angels of us all
And gives us wings
Where we had shoulders
Smooth as raven’s
Claws
No more money, no more fancy dress
This other kingdom seems by far the best
Until it’s other jaw reveals incest
And loose obedience to a vegetable law.
I will not go
Prefer a feast of friends
To the giant family.
Jim Morrison, terrible poetry, but… beautiful.
@ TMT
I lived in LA when the Doors broke. I’ll be reading some Jim for sure.
@Munson
Re: On love and lust
If you keep writing comments that good, I’m going to have to just turn HUS over to you. Clipped for future use.
@TMT
Do you mean missed opportunities? Can you explain why you always said no? It’s one thing to miss a chance because you weren’t aware it was being offered, but to decline is something else. I have heard other men say this before, and I’d like to understand it better.
Munson, shocked to hear the bad news. Wisdom is in short supply these days, it seems. And what a comment there at 63; I often wonder if the people on the front lines even care to see what’s at the end of the race, or if they’re just resigned to running the first mile over and over.
@Counsel (#60)
Hi Counselor Munson,
It would be an honor and a privilege to assist you in any way. I just sent you a “friend request” on FaceBook; if you add me, we can PM (personal message) any info.
Stay strong. It’s obvious HUS is behind you, 100000000000%. We support you.
PS: My FB name is Jacqueline (Jackie is for on here), in case there is any confusion.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
The Private Man´s last [type] ..Occupy Valentines Day
As I said before, Munson, I am so sorry to hear.
My mom currently has cancer. For her (and for us), the worst time was the beginning, when she was finding out “how bad it is.” The waiting period is like torture. That feeling of being scared of the worst possible scenario never quite goes away, but you start to deal with it as it comes, I think. My mom has a very matter-of-fact attitude about it these days, and goes about her business as if nothing was wrong. Sometimes she feels crappy, but she gets out of bed everyday and schedules meetings and cooks and takes care of the dog as usual (at 15, that dog will die before any of us, mark my words!).
I wish this for you too. Cancer is scary. But at least it can become a little less scary, after awhile, especially if you keep reminding yourself that you will get better!
Olive´s last [type] ..Intrasexual Competition: Lessons from Archie Comics
Can’t explain why I am so aloof, as I am, also, an actor for chrissakes. If there’s so many others with this same problem, why not adress it? Problem it isn’t, perhaps… but… something is amiss in this modern man. Something is wrong, very wrong.
As an addendum, I lost one of the most…. no more words of losing, Munson continue to piss people off!
And I mean it the most positive way, people Need to be pissed off.
The Quest
THE KNIGHT came home from the quest,
Muddied and sore he came.
Battered of shield and crest,
Bannerless, bruised and lame.
Fighting we take no shame,
Better is man for a fall.
Merrily borne, the bugle-horn
Answered the warder’s call:—
“Here is my lance to mend (Haro!),
Here is my horse to be shot!
Ay, they were strong, and the fight was long;
But I paid as good as I got!”
“Oh, dark and deep their van,
That mocked my battle-cry.
I could not miss my man,
But I could not carry by:
Utterly whelmed was I,
Flung under, horse and all.”
Merrily borne, the bugle-horn
Answered the warder’s call!
“My wounds are noised abroad;
But theirs my foemen cloaked.
Ye see my broken sword—
But never the blades she broke;
Paying them stroke for stroke,
Good handsel over all.”
Merrily borne, the bugle-horn
Answered the warder’s call!
“My shame ye count and know.
Ye say the quest is vain.
Ye have not seen my foe.
Ye have not told his slain.
Surely he fights again, again;
But when ye prove his line,
There shall come to your aid my broken blade
In the last, lost fight of mine!
And here is my lance to mend (Haro!),
And here is my horse to be shot!
Ay, they were strong, and the fight was long;
But I paid as good as I got!”
Rudyard Kipling
Well our jr. high prom night is still on-I may need a wig though!
Not generally my scene, but, for you baby, I’ll think about it.
Munson,
I originally wrote this at Riv’s last night, but I figured you might not see it there, so I’m copy and pasting it here to make sure you do.
First, love and support to you and yours. Though it sounds as if you have found more love and support that most of us in this part of the ‘Sphere ever will.
On that – Thank you for your shining examples, of world a great view, dark humor, wit, and a sharp, intelligent mind. But most of all, thank you for your inspiring example of what commitment, love, and a relationship can be. Your descriptions on HUS have joined some of the rare examples of what I want in life and in a wife – my grand parents and an aunt/uncle being the only other two on said list.
You give me hope. Hope because I feel that women like the one’s on HUS may see what men sacrifice for such a relationship. That they can appreciate those sacrifices instead of feeling entitled to them. That men like me can try to hold in our minds that such a thing is something to desire, not to spurn. That there may actually still be a woman out there that deserves such treatment, commitment, and love on our part instead of writing them all off as sluts or not giving the one that demands, rightly, more because she isn’t one.
Both sides of this gender war might be fighting and dying in the trenches. We all have our scars. We have our trauma. Yet still we continue to fight because we’re all caught in catch 22′s with no hope of understanding the other side. Or worse, understanding the other side and hating them all the more for it.
In these trenches it is people like you that cast a blazing light above the mud, the blood, the pain, the fog, and the roar of battle. I hope that, for brief time in all that are involved at any level of your life, they are able to pause, look beside them, and, AT THE LEAST, consider what kind of life they could obtain. Of what they’d be able to get if, as you say, they didn’t shoot Lust while she’s down on her knees, but instead let her grow into Love.
Damn. Put a couple drinks in me, have me sit, watch silly young couples verbally dance around each other like flailing teens for a couple hours, and then get me back on HUS to read Munson’s comments. Apparently I turn into a damn sap.
I guess I’ll knock one last one back here at home and consider if I can follow my own advice.
LeapofaBeta´s last [type] ..All Things in Moderation
Olive,
I’m terribly sorry to hear about your mom. My best friend is fighting colon cancer right now. Her prognosis is good. My mother died of metasticized lung cancer 8 months ago. I can’t complain. Miraculously, she had no pain. She was in her late 80s: she’s with my dad now. My dad OTOH was a forty-three survivor cancer survivor. It happens. I hope it happens for your mom and Munch.
I’m sorry to hear that! my prayers are with and your family. Just be strong and don’t lose hope. Keep the faith Munson.
I am so sorry to read this. He must be such a great man! Why do always the most terrible things to the greatest people happen? There isn’t any justice in nature.
@ Cheerful
You bring out the best in me.
@ Jackie-mmwwaahh! (blows kiss)
@ TMT
I haven’t delivered a philippic in a while-I’ll be on the hunt for one.
@Dinkney
Rudyard-now there was a writer. I’ll keep the image and re-read this; I’ll need to.
@ J -Hug hug hug!
@ Leap
That is precisely what I’ve always wanted to tell you kids ( I meant the affectionately). Like Denzel Washington in “Glory”, I raise the flag on the parapet, the flag of fidelity, honor and commitment, against which the trivial baubles of narcissism, hedonism and materialism are as nothing, and I stand to tell you that I am as common as mud, that if it is possible for one such as I to achieve this union, a union complete, a union that gives me such strength and hope that I pity death and corruption for even trying to defy me, then this exists, yes, exists, for each and every one of you I swear it as a man who may soon account for every word he has uttered in his life. Carry on bravely! (Bruce Lee)
@ Divina
I feel prayer offered in my behalf. I thank you.
@ Catwoman
I am not great, but I am blessed. I count you among them.
Haha, thanks Munson. I’ve been lucky enough to have some of the rare examples of it in my life already. And now I have another example.
I just wish lessons didn’t always have to be so damn painful.
LeapofaBeta´s last [type] ..Banished from the city of your Birth
@ Leap
“damn painful”-second that.
ON GRATITUDE
I met an artist once who told me that all creativity is “one thing”, one gift. I didn’t really understand what she meant at the time but then I began noticing how many rockers met at or were in art school (John Lennon, Jimmy Page, many others), how many musicians were also visual artists (Grace Slick), how many actors were (maybe not surpassingly good, but decent enough) rockers ( Willis, Crowe, Sutherland). At its core creativity is one impulse, and a person may have one aspect of it that is dominant but will usually have other capacities in all.
Which brings me to gratitude. I think the end goal of all religion, philosophy, psychology, anything that is designed to lift the spirit of man is to instill a deep and abiding sense of gratitude. On all levels, as to all things. I think it is the unifying concept of our existence, that which makes all of the events in our lives by turns wonderous, ecstatic, endurable, surmountable. Without a sense of gratitude we become unmoored, unhinged, we want more and more, are never satisfied, and as we succeed in our obtaining we don’t get the “payoff” we expect, in fact may not even achieve satiation, only a dull pause before the itch rekindles. I think gratitude does for the human psyche what creativity does in the arts: it is a unifying capacity that, once developed, can manifest itself in as many ways as we see fit, expanding and adding to our experience.
I see gratitude playing an unlikely role in the very topic of this site-initmacy, how to achieve it and nurture it into a strong loving relationship. Gratitude restores our balance. It gives our innate humanity a blueprint to follow in our interactions, a core sense of ourselves that helps vitiate the worst effects of monsters like the SMP, where people are rated (“a 5, maybe a 6″), games are played (“shit test”-Lord help me), where manipulation is extolled as a virute rather than condemned as the utterly contemptible practice that it is. I’m getting too florid; I need to give you an image.
Dear Sister Agnes gave our class the following example of Heaven and Hell. HELL: a large dinner table with the most sumptuous food imaginable. Seated are people near starved to death; they have very long spoons, so long that they cannot insert them into their mouths. Each spoon is piled with food, but they cannot get to it.
HEAVEN: exactly the same scene, only here everyone is healthy and well-fed. Their spoons are the same, but they reach across the table to feed each other. They are happy, satisfied, at peace, probably a little overweight. I would posit that a sense of gratitude gave the second group the power to avoid the pitfalls of the first.
Ok Munson, so what does that have to do with us this Friday at the local Hookin’ Up place? Thought you’d never ask. What, you can’t apply the spoon analogy? When you look across the room at someone, do you think “What have they got for me?” (i e looks, sexual appeal, etc.) Well, how’s about “What is in me for them?” Hold you spoon out. I’m not expecting you’ll become a bunch of St. Francis of Assissi’s, but your heart will start in the right place-’cuz it will be where your soul is.
Don’t expect any help from our culture. It is based on the pursuit of luxury and comfort, near mindless materialism, and a literally mindless hedonsim. It tells you if you acquire all the right pieces, you can assemble happiness like a tinker toy. Nope. Never worked, never will. First of all, happiness is an ingredient, not a result. You put happiness INTO your life, not the other way around. And the main ingerient of happiness is gratitude. Think about it; you’ve never met anyone who is happy who is not grateful.
To start you on your gratitude project, I’ll leave you with this: 399,999 other sperms were in the mix to create you, but you won. Be grateful.
Plus a thousand.
“What is in me for them?”
That’s really beautiful, I’ve got to try remember to do that more.
Byron´s last [type] ..Can’t Get Enough Of Girl Writes What
Munson, my mother was a wise woman. She told me that our bodies are nothing more than a space suit that our spirits live in. No one got to pick the space suit they live in, nor the size, gender, or the color. Our suits do not come with gaurantees or warranties. I do hope you beat this defect in your suit. Leave no stone unturned in your quest for healing information. You will be in my thoughts and prayers…
HSI – The Health Sciences Institute… google it
@ Tom
I send hugs through the ether my namesake.
@ Lord Byron
A writer who is understood, and who’ swords are taken to heart, stands blessed a million times. I thank you for your blessing.
@ Yohami
Knucklepunch.
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