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A Questionable Mating Strategy

American hookup culture at its finest. 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuE4VYxueNQ

  • mgambale

    A size queen, obviously.

  • FeralEmployee

    When treehugging meets poledancing…

  • Haha

    And all those others were around just taking photos…ynthesis.

  • John G

    Aw she’s a peach. Entertaining the masses like that.

  • meistergedanken

    You go, grrrl!!

    I’ll wager any shame she feels later for the distribution of this video will be canceled out by the thrill she gets from attention-whoring.

  • Ted D

    Good Lord. I really don’t know what to think other than how disappointing this kind of stuff is. I hope her parents never see that video. I can’t imagine I would be a proud father after seeing that amount of slutty behavior from my daughter.

    That’s assuming she even has a father in her life of course. If she did, he failed miserably…

  • Stripes

    Because her sluttiness (with a tree) and attention whoring (for a crowd that she doesn’t even notice) are the point, not the fact that she’s out of her mind on drugs.

  • Odds

    @ Stripes

    So, if she were doing this stone sober instead of stoned, would we have to embrace and celebrate her sluttishness and attention seeking?

    I kid, I kid. That would be an overly binary way of seeing things, like how the average feminist does.

    Doesn’t matter, I’m pro-legalization. Never even smoked weed in my life, but that’s what you get when you mix libertarianism with self-restraint. besides, leaving girls free to make these choices lets you spot ones like her more easily.

  • J

    That’s very sad really. It’s egregious behavior obviously, but she is also as high as a kite which is dangerous in and of itself. I hope her friends kept a closer eye on her after that,

    In the last year, I have heard of two separate cases in which young men were kiled while wandering around drunk after saying goodnight to equally drunken friends. Kids need to learn to take better care of themselves and their friends.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @J

      Hi! I hope the last procedure was easy peasy.

      In the last year, I have heard of two separate cases in which young men were kiled while wandering around drunk after saying goodnight to equally drunken friends. Kids need to learn to take better care of themselves and their friends.

      When my son was in high school, his soccer coach, a guy in his 20s, went out into the winter night drunk without a parka, sat down under a tree and died from hypothermia. It was just a freaky thing but apparently can happen – alcohol inhibits the body’s ability to keep warm.

      Obviously, not an issue at Ultra in Miami, though.

  • J

    The above post is me. I mistyped my email and got a new avatar.

  • GregMan

    That must be one seriously Alpha tree.

  • Cooper

    “Starstar!”

    (movie reference)

  • Sassy6519

    That is a very happy tree.

  • Giraffe

    Her: Wow, nice nuts.
    Tree:
    Her: Oh, the strong silent type. Tall dark and handsome. Hawtt.
    Tree:
    Her: Please don’t leaf me.

    I apologize in advance.

  • Underdog

    Female Hypergatree?

  • Charm

    I couldn’t even watch more than 20 seconds of the video. I was too embarrassed for this girl. What a shame.

    @Giraffe

    Lol.

    Her: Do you come here often?
    Tree: I can never leaf.

  • http://dicipres.wordpress.com dicipres

    One of Roissy’s Poon commandments is “Maintain your state control: You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games…”

    and this video is proof Roissy’s advice works. Note the the tree did not cave in to any manipulation, a true player…

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    Charm – I didn’t make it all the way through either. I called it quits about the time the crowd started to gather, and I could see young guys starting to slobber all over themselves watching her hump a tree.

    I get that this is kinda funny, but I just can’t get past how depressing the entire situation is to enjoy the jokes. Seriously, how would you all feel if this was YOUR daughter?

  • Charm

    Ted

    Nothing about that was remotely attractive. The just goes to show how stupid young men AND women are. I better get comfortable on this sinking ship.

    And if that was my daughter…I’d disown her.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    “And if that was my daughter…I’d disown her.”

    Me too. In fact, if she was getting a college education that *I* was paying for, she would find herself out of school and figuring out how to make enough money to afford an apartment, because she wouldn’t be living with me.

  • Charm

    Ted

    Lol, yea its a shame that people don’t do things like that anymore. Its “harsh” to disown your children who are making “mistake” (re: bad choices) on their road to “finding themselves”. I don’t know what else can be done to handicap my generation anymore than it already has been.

  • Passer_By

    Meh. Just an attention whore – I doubt she was even that high.

    On the other hand, at least she’s engaging in safe sex.

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    First that tree is obviously product of the patriarchy and second she is obviously to drunk/drugged to really consent to tree hugging that tree should go to jail for rape. All of you are just victim blaming that poor girl. :p

  • Jesus Mahoney

    On the other hand, at least she’s engaging in safe sex.

    Not really. Splinters.

  • Kirk

    If I were Australian, I would say that the tree was “rooting” her.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    Charm – “Lol, yea its a shame that people don’t do things like that anymore. ”

    That is because now people put more importance on how they feel as opposed to what we used to value: Good morals.

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. If one of my children ever killed a person in cold blood, I would pull the lever on the chair myself. I would love them the entire time, but I would also know that *I* failed them. I would see it as my duty to see them through to the last, and I would also feel like it was MY fault that person ended up dead, so the hurt it would cause me would be justified.

    Most parents just don’t seem to realize that it is THEIR fault these children and young adults are so screwed up. I want my children to like me, but to be honest at this point in their lives I don’t expect it. It is far more important that they head me than like me right now. I hope that when they get older and realize why I did what I did, they will come to understand why I wasn’t their friend and instead was their dad. But the truth is if that never happens, I’m OK with it. For me, it is more important that they grow up to be good people than to be their buddy now and have them become… Well this young woman. :(

  • petergriffith5

    Longtime lurker here who was compelled to make my first post.

    I’m seeing someone who is very intoxicated with something and / or a a severe mental illness flare up. Although I’m a big fan of Susan and the folks who regularly comments, I think the girls dance with the tree is less a comment about hook-up culture, but more about an individual’s sad breakdown.

    Mental illness is not a spectator sport, at the end of the video I was I’m was glad to see the two women take her away. They should be commended.

    Although

  • Male Perspective

    She’s young, thin, cute with long hair. She’s got her pick of boyfriends, not hookups, boyfriends. You know how rare a combination of young, cute, thin with long hair is these days, all in one package? She’s in high demand and not just for hookups.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    “I’m seeing someone who is very intoxicated with something and / or a a severe mental illness flare up. Although I’m a big fan of Susan and the folks who regularly comments, I think the girls dance with the tree is less a comment about hook-up culture, but more about an individual’s sad breakdown.”

    I disagree. It is exactly the fact that this level of intoxication is not only normal but accepted among young college age “adults” that hookup culture even exists.

    If she has mental issues, that is another thing. But I highly doubt she does, and it is much more likely that she is just buzzed out of her mind BECAUSE she wanted to act irresponsibly without concern for taking ownership of her actions. This is less naivety and more willful suppression (through drugs/alcohol) of any feelings of guilt for acting like a slut.

  • Charm

    Ted

    Oh yea, the second anyone ruins good feelings and good times by imposing standards or morals onto young people you end up the one categorized as the “bad” person. It seems that people have forgotten that you simply cannot do whatever you want with zero consequences. No one wants to be judged for anything. NOTHING. How the hell does that work? The next time I hear a person say “If I hadn’t done [insert horrible decision], I wouldn’t be the person I am today”, Im gonna punch them in the face.

    I agree parents are responsible for their kids, but only up to a certain point. Our culture also help to enable the hell out of bad decision making. No one is punished for anything anymore. Hell even being judgmental is a crime in the 21st century. Mass acceptance for everyone!

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    “She’s in high demand and not just for hookups.”

    And yet she clearly doesn’t understand that, or simply doesn’t care. The more she behaves like this, the less in demand she will be for LTRs. But hey, as long as she stays in shape there will always be men ready to use her as a sex toy…

  • Charm

    You know how rare a combination of young, cute, thin with long hair is these days, all in one package? She’s in high demand and not just for hookups.

    This is true, for now. Looks fade, skin sags, people age and she’ll become a lot less cute with time. She’s at the peak now, but what girls like this don’t realize is that once the ride is over, its over. You don’t get any do overs.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    Charm – “No one is punished for anything anymore. ”

    My children are punished for bad behavior, and they know it. Again, they may be pissed at me, but when they go to friends houses or out with other parents, we are always told how well behaved they are, how polite they are, and how they are welcome to come over anytime. I’m glad for that feedback, because some days I’m not sure all the stress and work of “keeping them in line” is doing any good. Despite all the crap they see on TV, and how douchey many of their peers act, at least they don’t give other people a hard time. I’m good with them giving ME some shit though. After all, what are parents for if not to see how far you can push your luck?

    Trouble is, most parents just let their children keep pushing without ever drawing a line in the sand. The result? Your daughter will end up drunk and humping a tree in public.

  • Herb

    Is it bad my first thought was “how do she and the onlooking flag for this while crusing?”

  • Giraffe

    Trouble is, most parents just let their children keep pushing without ever drawing a line in the sand. The result? Your daughter will end up drunk and humping a tree in public.

    True, but I’ve seen the opposite effect too. Girl goes to college who had very strict parents is suddenly free. That doesn’t turn out well either. I guess all college students do this to a certain extent.

  • Soga

    I’m with Ted, I’d throw out my daughter if I had one and if she did stuff like this. If she wants to live among trees (literally and figuratively speaking), then among trees she shall live! And I would, of course, wear a mask to hide my shame as a failed father.

    But thank God, I don’t.

    @dicipres: Ha! I chuckled. How unfortunately true is it that this video aptly demonstrates Roissy’s advice. Sure, she was high, but if a tree can elicit such a strong slutty response from a girl… it does make you wonder what was going on with her drugged rationalization hamster.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    Ted,

    Personally, I think I’d lock my daughter in the house instead of throwing her out.

    Thing is, “Girl with Wood” and other incidents like it (I’m thinking of Karen Owens’ “research paper”) go viral exactly because they are sensational. If these things really did represent the world in which we live, nobody would bother recording it and posting it to Youtube. Nobody would care.

    The real worry is that we’ve become the type of voyeuristic society that gets a bit of sadistic pleasure out of watching people at their worst.

  • Herb

    @JM

    The real worry is that we’ve become the type of voyeuristic society that gets a bit of sadistic pleasure out of watching people at their worst.

    I don’t think that’s new…executions used to be crowd pleasers.

    What is new is how easily and frequently we can see it in the comfort of our own home.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    What is new is how easily and frequently we can see it in the comfort of our own home.

    Right. But the more we can view it and the easier it is to access, the more we develop an appetite for it. A few days ago, someone mentioned Jersey Shore here (I think it was here, anyway) and basically said that the appeal of the show was that it was a bunch of trashy low-class people behaving idiotically; viewers get to laugh at them. They can laugh, probably, because they themselves aren’t idiots–at least not to the same degree as the people on the show.

    The show validates them–not because it mirrors their way of life–but because it gives them something against which they can compare themselves favorably. That’s my guess, anyway, as I’ve never seen the show. But I’d say with a certainty that that is the appeal of the video above.

  • Herb

    @JM

    The show validates them–not because it mirrors their way of life–but because it gives them something against which they can compare themselves favorably.

    I’d say that describes a lot of reality TV in general.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    I’d say that describes a lot of reality TV in general.

    Yea, I would say that’s probably true.

  • Stripes

    @Odds

    No, if she were sober then it would make sense to talk about those things. Given the state she appears to be in, I don’t think her degree of sluttiness and love of attention whoring are really what’s making her do this. I was just pointing out that not every single stupid thing a young girl does has to do with being a slut.

  • Giraffe

    “Reality” TV is bad people at their worst.

    The whole point of shows like survivor is to put people in a box and hype the inevitable conflict and/or humping. Women can then get their fix on the raw emotions.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    JM – “If these things really did represent the world in which we live, nobody would bother recording it and posting it to Youtube. Nobody would care.”

    and how long as the “Girls Gone Wild” series been popular? I think this EXACT behavior has been occurring for some time, we just never knew about it. Have you looked at YouTube lately? I have children at home, and had to block YouTube on my home router because I kept finding them watching stuff like this, and much worse.

    I’m sorry to say, but this IS the world we live in. But now, the hedonism is going mainstream thanks to cell phones with video capability and the internet. The more young people see this crap, the more they will think it is “normal”, and the more it will occur.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    Ted,

    Idk. I think a show like SATC (and, I’m sure, many others) promotes “hedonism” and promiscuity. I think a video like this promotes meanness. Nobody wants to be the girl in that video. In real life, for all we know, she might be a virgin, but every slut that’s watching that video is thinking, “I’m bad, but at least I’m not that bitch.”

  • Male Perspective

    “This is true, for now. Looks fade, skin sags, people age and she’ll become a lot less cute with time. She’s at the peak now, but what girls like this don’t realize is that once the ride is over, its over.”

    With time. She’s what, 18ish now? She’s got another 20 years before she starts to show serious signs of aging as long as she doesn’t do anything extreme like daily sun worship, smoking, alcoholism, Burger King, etc.
    I guarantee you she already has a boyfriend and will not go without.

    Has anyone here considered this might be performance art?

  • Giraffe

    You are thinking she’s a tree hugger?

  • Herb

    @Male Perspective

    Has anyone here considered this might be performance art?

    Given the way her friends drag her away at the end, I don’t think so…

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    @MP – “Has anyone here considered this might be performance art?”

    Have you looked around at the crap on YouTube lately? I’m sure there is plenty of “staged” videos, but clearly there are thousands of random incidents simply caught on someone’s cell phone of similarly bad behavior. I wish they were all staged, believe me.

  • Male Perspective

    Drunks disgust me. They ride by on the good graces of others through life, expecting us to “take better care of themselves and their friends”. Its incredibly selfish to expect to have a good time at the expense of others. You throwing up, acting a fool, putting your own life at risk is not fun for your friends or anybody else in the vicinity. People who get drunk at parties expect the other party goers to watch out for them. Why should we? If I’m self disciplined enough to monitor my drinking and not become a burden to others, so should you be. Why should I be made to feel guilty about not helping someone who chose to burden other people?

  • Charm

    Re strict parents

    There is a pretty large gap in between being a strict parent that allows their kids zero freedom and one that lets them behave like assholes.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    Maybe it’s just me, but as humiliating as this video has to be for this girl, I’d rather my daughter be humping a palm tree in public than humping a douche bag in the semi-privacy of a frat house.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Jesus

      I’d rather my daughter be humping a palm tree in public than humping a douche bag in the semi-privacy of a frat house.

      I think we can assume she does plenty of the latter as well.

  • Lokland

    I find this absolutely fricking hilarious.
    Shes an idiot but at least shes entertaining about it.

  • Charm

    @Jesus

    Its a damn shame when humping a tree in public becomes the better option.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    Its a damn shame when humping a tree in public becomes the better option.

    I can see that becoming my new life motto.

  • Herb

    @Charm

    Its a damn shame when humping a tree in public becomes the better option.

    Thanks, I needed a new email sig file.

  • pvw

    In her drug-induced state she is hallucinating that it is a 6’5′ tall super hot dude she can’t get enough of, almost like the male mannequins I sometimes see at sporting good stores; who knows what she thinks it is telling her. I wonder what she took. My concern–was she drugged without her knowledge?

  • http://www.theredpillroom.blogspot.com Ian Ironwood

    That tree could do better.

  • Herb

    That tree could do better.

    ROFLMPO

  • Charm

    I think we can assume she does plenty of the latter as well.

    Oh no, Im sure when she’s not intoxicated and humping trees in public in front of stranger and causing a scene, she’s in church.

    That tree could do better.

    Indeed.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    I think we can assume she does plenty of the latter as well.

    Perhaps. But I’ve done some pretty shady stuff in my time. I was just lucky that it was all before Youtube. I remember I skinny-dipped at a party once. I was like 14 or 15. There was 5 of us in the pool–3 guys and 2 girls (these were the first two naked girls I’d ever seen). Anyway, the parents came home and we had to hop the fence to get away unseen. Problem was, I left my pants somewhere in the yard and I couldn’t find them. So I walked the 1/2 mile home with just a t shirt wrapped around my goodies. If it were caught on Youtube, you’d never have pegged me as the awkward, shy guy who was afraid to even touch a girl’s breast till I was well into college.

    This girl could be a slut, perhaps. But I’m wondering why a cute, young, scantily-clad girl at a Music Festival couldn’t just find a guy to make a scene with if that were the case.

  • Ted D

    JM-” This girl could be a slut, perhaps. But I’m wondering why a cute, young, scantily-clad girl at a Music Festival couldn’t just find a guy to make a scene with if that were the case.”

    Drugs will make you do crazy things…

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Ian
    We lost Earl Scruggs, whose song I rewrote about you. Rest in peace banjo playin’ man.

  • J

    Hi! I hope the last procedure was easy peasy.

    Pretty good, actually. And I got to bring home a nice bottle of painkillers, so I’m good.

    When my son was in high school, his soccer coach, a guy in his 20s, went out into the winter night drunk without a parka, sat down under a tree and died from hypothermia. It was just a freaky thing but apparently can happen – alcohol inhibits the body’s ability to keep warm.

    The scary thing about booze and cold weather is that booze gives you the illusion of warmth. It dialates the blood vessels close to your skin which gives you a nice healthy flush and then causes you to dissipate warmth a lot faster than you would if there was not alcohol involved. It happens fairly often wherever there’s cold weather. It’s truly frightening how many ways the young and dumb can die.

  • J

    Munch, my DH is pretty broken up about that.

    We saw Bill Monroe a few months before he passed.

  • Herb

    @J

    It’s truly frightening how many ways the young and dumb can die.

    Looking back at all my friends and I did it’s amazing anyone reaches 25 sometimes. :)

  • Rum

    Does the word, “wood” not ring a bell?
    And who says size does not matter.
    Come on guys, she would not have done this if there was no camera around.
    Most likely a stripper in real life. This means not so much.

  • Male Perspective

    “Oh no, Im sure when she’s not intoxicated and humping trees in public in front of stranger and causing a scene, she’s in church. ”

    What does church have to do with anything? We don’t know anything about this person or her life. Like another poster said I hope she wasn’t drugged without her knowledge.

  • FeralEmployee

    I remember an incident in high school. During a school trip (I didn’t go) some girl got drunk on vodka, apparently walked into a boys room and performed oral on some guy. The guy was definitely alpha material (tall, athletic, popular, rich). He recorded it on his cell phone.

    Back then I could pass for a white knight. I refused to watch the tape, and still would refuse to do so now. But at the time, I would put the blame on the men, and pardon the girl. It was somewhat shocking, as the girl would not strike me as “thrill-seeking”. Looking back… she’s a slut (dumb one too, she failed her college studies fairly quick and degraded to something easy).

    But there you have it. I’m known to loosen up when I’ve had a few, but my self control has become so strong, I’ll hardly slip a word if I don’t want to.

  • Deacon Blues

    @Feral-They are the gatekeepers, bear that in mind at all times. Better to figure it out late than never.

  • http://date-masters.com/blog/ John Robie

    Looks like she could use some… ‘treetment.’

    ( •_•)

    ( •_•)>⌐■-■

    (⌐■_■) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    @John Robbie
    CSI, Reference?

  • Petruchio

    She’s winning the least interest game.

    Not much different than making out in public with another girl.

  • A definite beta guy

    Sorry to derail, but, fuck, you were right, Susan. Dump that bitch. God. I tried to talk it out, but good god….

    I thought I had taken the red pill, but no fucking way. I was wrong.

  • http://thesanctuary-spacetraveller.blogspot.com JT

    Is the tree a STEM tree? :-D

    Sad to see this, yes.
    I agree with someone else who said this could be the beginning of serious mental illness, drug-induced or not.
    This girl should see a psychiatrist as a matter of urgency.

  • this is Jen

    This is just disgusting. As a mother of 3 girls I am mortified for this girl! Where were her friends for the beginning? Why did they let it get filmed for so long? Our young women should NOT be behaving like this.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    “CELEBRATING THE PSYCHOPATH”

    In the past six months I have been exposed, along the length and breath of the “relationship” blogosphere , to a near bewildering mass of what I can best term as strategies for exploiting interactions with the opposite sex. Some have risen to level of Karl Marx’s “Das Capital” (Roissy). Others, less evolved, still display a studied approach to the topic inconceivable in my day. The Internet has helped with the cross-pollination of ideas, information, prejudices, anecdotal and often apocryphal story telling which abetted this no doubt. The sheer number and prolixity of these strategies is staggering.

    In attempting (note: attempting ) to understand all this I take a radical approach; I look at root causes. And one I identified surprised me: the American culture’s fascination with psychopaths. Let’s discuss a few prominent ones. John Wesley Harding: a cursory reading of his life shows him to be an impulsive, reckless killer with a penchant for violence on every level or occasion (tried to be a lawyer after criminal career but couldn’t make it due to too much empathy); celebrated in his life, elevated by no less than Bob Dylan dedicating an album and song to him. Clyde Barrow: a sexually confused deviant, had to have the largest weapon available (BAR automatic with 20 round clip) to prove he had a dick-most of his killings were needless, and he actually preyed on the “little guy” more than “the man”; Warren Beatty?-no. Charles Manson (no relation): had his minions carry out merciless slaughter on bound and gagged helpless people plus did one or 2 himself to further his nutball apocalyptic vision that the Aryan Nations/Skinheads would have loved; he made the cover of Rolling Stone (on a cross no less).

    I could riff endlessly on this; even portrayed heroes, like Gary Cooper’s or Clint Eastwood’s, have some of this. But I’ve either made my point or I haven’t. Their is an inherent cultural bias that to some extent is enchanted by and celebrates ( but does not embrace-don’t over read) the
    psychopath.

    Most psychopaths are not violent (I am using the term loosely and many psychologists renounce the category entirely). We run into them everyday. Now I think many would be classed into DSM VI borderline personality disorder: they’re the very nice but overly engaging co-worker who goes straight to the boss with every word you tell him, the person who lies even when the truth will actually be in their interest, the one who always has and/or creates drama just making coffee.

    Now, I read these relationship strategies and I see the same animus behind them. Lack of empathy; how does a person feel when they’ve been gamed? Not the gamer’s problem. In fact, maybe part of the “fun”. Focus on me: Tom Wolfe called us out as “The Me Decade”-Tom, check these kids out (he has). Lack of depth: on the experiential level, does fucking 10, 000 women provide anything more than a pinnacle of excitement, relief, quietude? I guess Roissy and a few others have developed a killer technique that works every time. To me, it seems to me you’ve perfected a method to win every time at draw poker, but there’s no money to spend. Am I wrong Roissy? Well then tell me about it. You’re a good writer; describe for me the wondrous rapture you find in encountering, luring,enchanting, then plowing and shooting wad after wad into this endless stream of women you’ve gamed into your bed. Tell little ol’ earthbound me how high the sky is.

    I should interject; my title should have been “CELEBRATING PSYCHOPATHIC TENDENCIES” but that sounded wus. And Roissy, if someone runs over to your site and tells you I called you a psychopath-I did not. I don’t know anywhere near enough about you to say that, and I doubt you are. But developing a strategy to game women into emotionally detached (FOR YOU) sex IS a psychopathic tendency. If we’re going to fight this out, it will be with pistols, not shotguns.

    And I doubt, and hope, none of you ever do meet a truly evolved psychopath. Because I now come to the one true trait all psychopaths possess-they do not feel anything. This allows them incalculable freedom. The classic: Bernie Madoff. The only way he could have pulled off this massive and not particularly sophisticated Ponzi, calmly, even after being investigated a few times (one guy had him cold 15 years ago) KNOWING, I MEAN AS SURE AS SHIT STINKS KNOWING, that it had to fail someday, HAD TO, and knowing that everyone one he “loved” would suffer, that he would be hated and his “loved” ones too, and deservedly so, for destroying the lives of people who revered him, people who trusted him, many based literally on faith, that could sit in front of a camera as president of FUCKING NASDAQ and , as calmly as I eat a peanut butter sandwich, say that it was now impossible to game to the system, meanwhile shattering the lives of thousands and destroying many decent organizations-he could only do it because at heart he feels nothing. NOTHING. Not love for his family, not affection for his friends, not commitment to this faith, all of that was something to be used, and he did , for decades. This is the pure psychopath. I just hope to God in 2 generations there isn’t a favorable movie made about him.

    A final word about psychopaths. Though they can’t feel, they know they should; it’s as if the eggplant people from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” made a go out trying to be real people. So they look and act normal, although I’ve learned to spot their over-animation; they act like car lot salesman minus the cars. 24/7. Another key : they always want something from you-sex, money, information-something.For them, people are something to be used, not become emotionally attached to (they can’t) but is very important FOR YOU TO BECOME ATTACHED TO THEM. And finally, and this is telling, their schemes and machinations ALWAYS FAIL. Always. Bernie’s took decades, but it did. The small scale ‘paths schemes go much quicker. And they are drawn to schemes because the hard work and commitment it takes to do the worthwhile requires you to be committed to someone or something else:family, lover, truth , justice, better orange juice-and they aren’t.The psychopath, because he cannot feel, doesn’t really know what he wants in the first place from an emotionally gratifying sense, so in his mind never fails (using masculine rhetorically).They go to prison claiming “give it more time and everyone will get well.”

    You however fail i e lose, something. That can be on the grand psychopath scale i e every dime you have, or on the street corner 3 Card Monty version, gamed into bed, strapped hard, waking up bereft after sleeping all night on the wet spot.

    p s Psychopath and sociopath generally describe the same individual but from the perspective of different disciplines. Shall I go on? Oh, ok.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Munson

      Brilliant expose of psychopathy there, thanks.

      It got me thinking – so many sites geared to men do encourage them to “get in touch with their inner psychopath.” They don’t call it that of course, they call it men finally getting what they should have had all along. But that’s what it is, if it meets the description you just gave us, and much of it does.

      What I’m pushing hard against here is the use of that lens to examine female nature. It’s not psychopathic for a man to crave sexual variety, but it probably is psychopathic for him to pursue it while in a committed relationship. That doesn’t mean he’s a full-blown psychopath, but it does mean he’s engaging in psychopathic behavior. The female equivalent would be using a man without empathy for whatever she wants, whether that is marrying a man she doesn’t love, exploiting guy friends for sexual attention and validation, or even screwing some guy and then pretending he doesn’t exist.

      What is not psychopathic is the male desire to mate with a good-looking woman or the female checklist of traits women find attractive in a potential mate. There’s no reason the vast majority – nearly all – people can’t mate if they are realistic enough about their own market value. That value reflects not only one’s innate qualities, but also market conditions – the sex ratio, hypergamic patterns in casual sex, etc.

  • Mike M.

    Ted, you worry me.

    Because I think you’re onto something.

    I’ve often thought our culture has lost the distinction between fame and glory. Fame is ephemeral – and morally neutral. It’s easy to become famous through bad behavior (like drunkenly humping a tree). Glory demands sacrifice, frequently hard work to go along with it. But it is eternal – and morally positive.

    A healthy society disdains the fame-seekers, and sings the praises of those who have earned glory. Modern culture doesn’t. Which may be part of our problem.

  • Dogsquat

    Susan and J:

    “In the last year, I have heard of two separate cases in which young men were kiled while wandering around drunk after saying goodnight to equally drunken friends. Kids need to learn to take better care of themselves and their friends.

    When my son was in high school, his soccer coach, a guy in his 20s, went out into the winter night drunk without a parka, sat down under a tree and died from hypothermia. It was just a freaky thing but apparently can happen – alcohol inhibits the body’s ability to keep warm.”
    ________________________________

    We call those folks drunksicles. It happens a lot – not as much as TMB, car crashes, drugs, or violence, but enough that I’ll see it several times a year.

    Alcohol does have some physiologic effects on the body’s temperature regulation systems, but it’s real danger comes from making the patient pass out.

    Some surfaces conduct heat away from the body faster than air does, so if you have the misfortune to crump out on concrete or tile, you can become hypothermic even if the air is a balmy 72 degrees. In a regular sleep state, you might roll around or move into a posture that minimizes heat loss. Gorked out from too much booze, though, you’ll just lay there cooling off. Couple that with booze increasing the surface circulation, and you’re in Real Bad Trouble.

    Lots of these folks vomit and/or pee on themselves, making their situation worse.

    There’s a nifty thing humans do called paradoxical undressing, too. During really bad hypothermia, sometimes people get so disoriented they actually strip some/all of their clothing off. I usually see this in patients who got drunk and hypothermic indoors. My theory is that the hypothermia set in slowly enough to allow them a bit of sobering up, and thus the return of motor function. That’s just a guess, though, and I’m just a dumbass ambulance driver.

    On the ambulance we carry warm IV fluid, and we’ll bang some big ‘ol lines into these folks and run them wide-open. It’s one of the few situations I’ll actually go lights and sirens to the hospital, too. Once at the hospital, they’ll throw more warm fluid in, even running it into the bladder and booty. If it’s real bad, they’ll put the patient on a heart-lung bypass machine and replace your cold blood with warm stuff.

    Lots of interesting physiology, and usually a good call to go on….but if I ever see that St. Bernard with the brandy cask around it’s neck running around in the snow, I’m shooting that son-of-a-bitch.

  • Dogsquat

    @tvmunson:

    “In attempting (note: attempting ) to understand all this I take a radical approach; I look at root causes.”
    _______________________

    You and the girl in the video are doing the same thing.

  • Dogsquat

    JM said:

    “Problem was, I left my pants somewhere in the yard and I couldn’t find them.”
    _______________

    Man, I tell you what. If I had a dollar for every time….

  • Mike M.

    BTW, this is why I drink very little. And never to excess. These kids think it a great feat to drink yourself into a stupor – it seems to me that an infant could do it.

  • Just1X

    @Dogsquat

    where did you get that image? it’s fabulous (old style use of the word). who is it?

  • Just1X

    So how come nobody has called the girl barking mad?

    do you guys not have that phrase?

    if not, why not consider branching out into uk English? why woodn’t you give it a try?

    Enough, I’ll leaf it from now on.

  • Dogsquat

    @Just1x

    So how come nobody has called the girl barking mad?
    ___________________

    We’re concerned for her health – too many sappy thoughts for something so crass.

    And dude – I can no longer remember where I got this pic or who it is.

  • Just1X

    Her health? oh now I feel stupid, as thick as two short planks, in fact

  • Dogsquat

    I saw that.

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    @Munson
    BRILLIANT!
    I had noticed the fascination with the Bully (which I consider a branch of sociopathy) in American culture for a while now. Is remarkable, I do wonder if is because you are a warrior nation you need to make sure some thugs are happy enough that if you invade some other country you will have enough of them to actually cause damage and win or something along those lines.

  • http://thesanctuary-spacetraveller.blogspot.com JT

    @ Just1X:

    I was going to write this long comment about how silly this girl’s barking behaviour was, but I hesitated, as I thought it might get trunkated. Which branch of health services would you recommend for her – psychiatree? Assuming she is a college student, what’s her major – twigonometry?

  • Just1X

    @JT nice, but I don’t subscribe to your form of bigotree

  • Dogsquat

    Mr. Munson, I ate breakfast and this was rolling around in my brainhousing group:

    “And I doubt, and hope, none of you ever do meet a truly evolved psychopath. Because I now come to the one true trait all psychopaths possess-they do not feel anything. This allows them incalculable freedom.”

    I think you’re on to something.

    You can have freedom to do things.

    You can also have freedom from things.

    In our society, we’re told constantly that we can be anything we want if we just blah blah blah.

    That’s not a 100% true statement, but it pervades nonetheless. The question then asked is,”If I can be anything I want, then why haven’t I done it?”

    The answer, inevitably, after peeling back onionskins of external finger-pointing, is some manifestation of self-limiting, self-constraining thought.

    The people you’re describing as psychopaths lack that. Not only are they free to do things, as we all are – they’re not tripping themselves up. They are free from many of our limitations.

    Looks to be a pretty good deal, if only in the short-term.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    MY APOLOGIES TO HUS READERS; HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO REMISS???!!!

    I was staring at the above referenced picture/video of the girl with the tree, and I totally missed my important role as “Of Counsel” to report to you on the status of this “infamous crime against nature”. Please- it was the chemo. I am unfamiliar with the Ultra Music Festival so do not know precise statute; could someone please provide me with the locale? I am unaware of any state that has abolished this as an offense coming to us, I believe, from the common law of England (Senior Beta-little help). The age of the tree is of no consequence as plants are irrebuttably presumed to be incapable of giving consent. Yes, it’s coming back to me from my “Torts, Crimes and other Misdemeanors Class”. The common law of England had very draconian penalties for this as the ancient Druids believed that doing shit like this caused crops to fail. The United States, severally, largely adopted it in toto. In Idaho, this used to be punishable by life (you read it right) LIFE in prison. Nor is “I was having sex, the tree wasn’t” a defense here but again I don’t know about other jurisdictions. Plus, we do not have a lot of law on “floral engagement” as the sheep herders and their ” mountain mama’s” kept us very busy. It’s still against the law to wear hip waders beyond 150 yards of a river.

    Anyway, please accept my apologies. I respect and revere the trust you’ve placed in me. Provide the jurisdiction post haste, and I shall find the statute and can thus examine the circumstances in the professional manner required by HUS readers, being thus fully advised in the premises. I promise to have alacrity mend what defalcation wrought.

    very truly yours

    Thomas V. Munson, Esq.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Munson

      LOL! Ultra was in Miami – as I recall you’ve looked into some aspects of Florida law before ;)

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Dogsquat

    Touche! Now I need a lawyer too!

  • April1

    Obviously she’s doing it for attention, as a dare from her friends and to rile men up sexually so she can raise her low, low self-esteem.

    She’s cheap and she showed it.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    Munson,

    I have nothing to add to any of your comments–I just wanted to say that you seem to be as sharp as ever. Good to see the chemo hasn’t affected your wit.

  • Just1X

    @Tom

    “the ancient Druids believed that doing shit like this caused crops to fail”

    you shame me with your superior knowledge of my ‘culture’.

    Ditto on the chemo comments

  • Male Perspective

    “Not much different than making out in public with another girl.”

    Once she goes tree, none left for me?

    We’re regretting encouraging girl-on-girl action for our own viewing pleasure. There’s a number of uber cute neolesbian couples in my ‘hood who resulted from just that. They kissed a girl, and they liked it, better than kissing us. Once they get a taste of the otherside they seldom return.
    Once she goes gay, she’ll never stray?
    Once you go gay, you call it a day?

    I’ve learned to be careful what I ask for.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Dogsquat # 93

    Yes, they have freedom-but remember, their plans always fuck up. Always. And the very very rare ones who get a “hit” on a project, will invariably fuck it up by taking everything, thus inviting retrobution. I think they feel some small excitement, along the lines of a reptile, as they do the stuff they do, but any connected human being thinks of consequences, even if just the penalties. Bernie’s was extraordinary; it’s impossible to measure against the average psychopath. My (former) friend Bob was more typical. By all accounts, he appeared to be a successful sole practitioner in Boise-new Cad with Northstar engine ( I know, a little cheasy; in my only ride in it I told him I felt like we should be playing Sinatra on our way to beat up some recalcitrant Teamsters), big, luxurious house, sharp expensive suits, everything . In August 1996 took wife and 3 kids on So Cal extravaganza, Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, even took a visit to see where O J off’d Nicole. had to cost $5k minimum.6 months later, it all fell apart. He made the mistake of ripping off Mark Lindsay, former lead singer of Paul Revere & the Raiders. Turns out it was the proverbial tip of the iceburg. He’d stolen from every client he could, little old ladies, desperately poor invalids, you name it. He took a plea, got 12 years with 3 fixed, and made a video. Turns out he owned virtually nothing, cars were leased, his house was “owned” by the IRS-virtually no assets. He’s still angling to get back in the bar; his ripofff total was $250,000, not huge compared to a lot but this came mostly in $5,000 or less increments from people who needed that money. Bankrupted our bar restitution fund, which has a $15 k cap.I know some part of him has not accepted he did anything wrong. But how could he take his family on this vacation knowing it was all about to collapse? Easy-he does not feel guilt, or fear, or anything. BTW he’d never admit this; he talks the talk, but does not walk the walk.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Jesus
    Thanks for the encouragement! I had chemo yesterday, which means I still have cortisteroid in me. I am bipolar; we like cortisteroids ) I probably shouldn’t be taking them. But it would be so much harder. I am still brave but they’ll wera off. Today I went in again for saline IV, to see if more hydration will help. Not sure yet. “Suffering is an ass to be beaten”.

    @ Just1

    Druid comment-total horseshit. April Fools! I know it’s still March so sue me.

    @ Cheerful #96
    You missed the 2nd essential trait of the psychopath, and it relates to the #1: their schemes, plots, ideas whatever ALWAYS FAIL. ALWAYS. And why? Because theu cannot feel anything, and thus cannot feel success anymore than they can feel deprivation. They win the game, but there’s no money (emotional payoff). This is classically portrayed by Kathleen Turner in “Body Heat”. Her intricate and horrible scheme works like a charm. she steals the identity of a high school “friend”, finds and marries a rich man intending every minute to kill him ultimately, identifies an attorney who has made just the kind of fuck up she needs (violates the Rule Against Perpetuities-very difficult concept; my dad wrote his Cornell Law Review article about it-ask you attorney friends what that means), catches his attention and gets him to fall in love with her knowing she’ll set him up for her husband’s murder and kill him too (fail). It all works but Hurt only gets prison.

    But what does it gain her? At the end, we see her in an exotic tropical land, where a (presumably) boyfriend says to her in a foreign language “It’s hot”, and she replies “Yes”, lifting her umbrella’d drink to her lips, looking totally listless, disengaged, bored, torpid, bereft of all the intensity she had hatching her scheme. It would take a true psychopath to pull off hers. Remember Mickey Rourke’s admonition to William Hurt: “Anytime you set out to do a decent crime you’ve got 50 ways to fuck up. If you think of 25 of them you’re a genius. And you ain’t no genius”. Hers had a million, and a true psychopath would never stay on that island. /She’d leave to find the bigger payoff which will fulfill her.

    All psycho paths do. If they marry, it fails. Start a business, it fails, usually with everyone else’s money. If it happens to be successful, they screw their partners. Nothing ever works with them because of #1 and #2. Jail and death are the only things that stop them.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Cheerful #98

    I’m right on it. But this will take a while. You’re right, Parker v.Parker was a Florida case, but domestic relations law is simple compared to criminal law. At least it’s not Louisiana which has Napoleonic code-that would be a real bitch. There is a Japanese late firm I have cases with from time to time and they work weekends. They don’t handle criminal but may be able to point me in the right direction. I’m sure they’ll be pre-codification issues so anyone reading better know THIS IS LEGAL INFORMATION, NOT ADVICE.

  • Dogsquat

    @tvmunson:

    Totally agree with you on the long-term issues inherent in socio/psycho/whateveropathy.

    I don’t think I could show my face to any sort of professional institution after what your acquaintance did, let alone angle for re-acceptance. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment would be too powerful to overcome. These people really aren’t operating in the same reality as the rest of us.

    I wonder now if I didn’t meet a few of these guys in the military. In good units, there’s not much room for manipulating others to get a “better” deal – everybody gets treated equally (like crap).

    There are, though, a very few guys who really seem to enjoy killing. Not just being jazzed up after a good fight or proud of a difficult shot, but actively glowing for days after taking the life of another human being. Their eyes dance, and they make expansive gestures after the fact.

    Other than that, they’re kind of flat and lifeless.

    I wonder if the act of killing doesn’t scratch the ultimate itch these people have – to prove to be better than others somehow.

    Incidentally, those guys don’t have too many friends, and tend to get shuffled from unit to unit. They’re a huge liability in a counter-insurgency operation, as evidenced by Haditha and, more recently, the Army SSGT who allegedly killed those Afghans.

    There’s also something indefinably creepy about them – you can’t put your finger on it, but you can feel it.

  • J

    The common law of England had very draconian penalties for this as the ancient Druids believed that doing shit like this caused crops to fail.

    Munch, I thought the Druids believed that NOT doing shit like this caused crops to fail.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Dog

    I read a book about psychopaths that discussed whether they could be good military man. The context was fighter pilots, and the conclusion was no. Those who scored highest for psychopathy on the MMPI were noted for neglecting details (fuel), not reliable in situations requiring flexible response, and were deemed impulsive if not reckless by their peers. the glint of the satisfied killer matches the reptilian excitement I mentioned.

    Yes, Bob had no problem showing his face around. I would have crawled under a rock if not worse. More importantly, I’d as soon starve as suffer the anxiety of knowing what my family and I were going to go through.

    Not operating in the same reality comes close. And they have no antennae.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    No one caught the hip wader ref? In order to properly “service” a sheep, you must first secure in situ his hind legs in your thigh high hip waders, thus ensuring he cannot escape whilst you tryst d’ amour on the back hills of Idaho. Word to the wise: you can tell a Basque guy his mom wears combat boots, but don’t tell him his dad wears hip waders. You’ll get your ass kicked for sure.

    I know; I’m waiting for the Florida firm to get back to me.

  • Dogsquat

    @Munson:

    The reasons behind the end of the Basque Separatist Movement are myriad. For the truth, you need to follow the packages. Nobody (until you, just now) has ever given me a satisfactory explanation for some large shipments of sporting goods to Spain in mid-2010.

    Specifically, fly fishing equipment from Cabela’s addressed to ETA.

    Wake up, sheeple!

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    There’s also something indefinably creepy about them – you can’t put your finger on it, but you can feel it.

    Is the void. You know deep in your bones that you are looking at the mask of a human being, a dummy that talks and breathes like you but is not totally human at all, there is no one there. Is a chilling feeling in the pit of the stomach like being in the same room with a snake. Is a bit like the Uncanny Valley for the soul, YMMV.

  • Just1X

    @Tom

    “tryst d’ amour on the back hills of Idaho”

    I shall proceed to adapt a UK saying to your neck of the back-woods

    “Idaho. Where men are men and sheep are nervous”

  • http://thesanctuary-spacetraveller.blogspot.com JT

    @ Just1X,
    I am sure the young woman does not have a Facebook account. She has a logbook in which she lists all her treests with trees.
    What is she saying to the tree?
    “Tree strikes and you’re out”.

  • Just1X

    treests?

    now I’m laughing but in pain at the same time

  • http://thesanctuary-spacetraveller.blogspot.com JT

    Sorry to cause pain.
    I shall turn a new leaf from now on.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Dog

    Your comprehensive knowledge on all subjects is breathtaking! Yes, it was only after our very own CIA said re arms smuggling to ETA “Fuck the guns! We’ll cut off the hip waders!” that the ETA was finally forced to “come to the table” as it were. Regarding sheep “congress”; take it from one who knows-never ever even try it even just once cuz’ it’s a baaaaaaaddddddd habit to break.

    @ Just 1

    Sheep are not nervous so much as confused and easily hurt as they are a monogamous species. Over a long sheep drive, it’s easy for a shepherd to lose track of his paramour. Their disconsolate bleating is dreadful to listen to.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      Sheep are not nervous so much as confused and easily hurt as they are a monogamous species. Over a long sheep drive, it’s easy for a shepherd to lose track of his paramour. Their disconsolate bleating is dreadful to listen to.

      This reminds me of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex – the scene where Woody Allen becomes depressed and homeless after his sheep Dolly dumps him. He winds up lying in the gutter and drinking Woolite.

  • http://photoncourier.blogspot.com david foster

    TVM…”American culture’s fascination with psychopaths”

    But is this really specific to *American* culture? Most countries have ballads, poems, stories, etc in which the hero is a highwayman, bandit, pirate, etc, and most of these individuals were probably in real life just as psychopathic as the examples you gave of Clyde Barrow, etc.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    MUNSON HAS THE ANSWER (SORT OF)

    As I suspected, and common to the southern states, Florida did codify “infamous crime against nature” but without rescinding the prior common law-so we do have pre-codification issues. It will take too long to explain; it basically means the easy job of looking up the statute and finding decisions (like I did with Parker) isn’t there. Damn.

    So we do this the hard way-but the law firm did refer me to a case that is very old (1896) but has not been overruled or statutorily abrogated (see above). But first some background. Under British common law (which we adopted ‘cept Louisiana.) if you were declared “insane” ALL your property went to the king. As you can expect, the families of these men (they were always men) fought against this “escheat” (we get our word from this). So insanity hearings took on much the flavor of criminal proceedings; indeed, the close connection between mental illness and criminal law is readily evident even today. Now, the insanity proceedings were brought in courts of equity, criminal ones were brought in law courts. Briefly, law courts could force you to pay money, lock you up, or kill you. Chancery (equity) courts could compel you to do or not do something. As you might expect there were intense jurisdictional battles along the lines of “who gets to fuck this guy?”

    So when we brought all this over we never reconciled it. And thus we come to In Re Briar Bush, the old case I told you about. Insanity proceedings were very shameful, thus “Briar Bush” is a pseudonym used to protect the individual, much the way Jane Roe was used in Roe v. Wade. The individual had been observed “seeding” his garden-in the Biblical sense. Now things get complicated. His family did not want him before the “equity” court, as he could be locked up forever (but no escheat-we abolished that). They wanted him in a law court, where his criminal punishment would be far less.

    Now, when you read “infamous crime against nature” don’t read it literally. Back then it did not necessarily refer to “crime”-it’s more like “violation of”. It had a civil and criminal context . And that hinged on “mens rea”.

    In order for their to be a crime, there must be an “actus reus” (an act) accompanied by a mental state (“mens rea”). The debutante in the video has clearly committed an act- tree humping. We’ll get back to her in a second.

    The battle in In re BB centered on the mens rea component, and involved elemental concepts of jurisdiction. Jurisdiction is the first thing you learn in civil procedure in law school, and “civ” is one of the classes you MUST pass to get a license. A lot of lawyers say it’s the only first year one you really need to learn; you research other areas of law, but you better know you’re way around civ pro like you know you’re way around your own asshole.

    Ok, “in personam”, “in rem”, and “quasi in rem”-3 bases for jurisdiction. Personal jurisdiction-the person lives here, we got ‘em. “In rem”-the thing is here; we got it. “Quasi in rem”-the thing is here, but it isn’t something we can see or feel; it’s a cause of action, a copyright, a mental state. In In re BB, the family argued that the law court had jurisdiction because the law court could assert it over his “mens rea” i e his criminal intent to commit the crime of being the “happy gardener” (I added that). The chancery court (now called probate courts in Fla.) fought back (they wanted him locked up forever) saying essentially “no, he’s nuts-there is no mens rea so you do not have jurisdiction”.

    In the end the Florida Supreme Court overruled the chancery court, the guy took a plea, case over. It’s still used somewhat on the Florida bar to jeep out of state lawyers out-the bastards.

    So in the scene above, what is her mental state? Is she really intent on having an orgasm i e establishing mens rea, is she putting on an act, or is she so fucked up she doesn’t know what she’s doing? If she’s truly sexually engaged, her butt is ours. Ladies, help me. I’ve never been able to tell a woman having a real orgasm from a fake one, not that I really gave a shit either way. If you were on a jury, would you say “yeah, she’s getting off” and thus convict her of the “infamous crime”? Or “no, she’s out of it” and let her walk?

    That’s as far as we can take it. I’d like to thank the firm Ripom, Anew & Wahn for their generous and timely assistance in helping me put this together-I’d have never found that case! To HUS, I close and remain ever faithful as “Of Counsel”.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Munson

      I think she’s so fucked up she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I think she’s hallucinating. But my second choice is she’s putting on an act. Of course, none of this precludes her getting off as well. But it doesn’t look that way to me.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ David

    Good point. I was being a little dramatic.

    @ Cheerful ref mine #118

    May I assume the check’s in the mail (one of the THREE GREAT LIES-tell me if you want the other two)

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    PERSONAL NOTE

    Many people have been telling me, in reference to my condition, to “rage, rage against the dying of the light”. Dylan Thomas epic lines are certainly moving. But I am called to remember God’s response to Job when he questioned God’s running of things, and specifically His undeserved punishment of him. I can’t do it justice, but God comes out of a whirlwind and says to Job Where were you when I created the universe? Tell Me how I did it, if you have the understanding? Did you give yourself life? Have you so many days you can tell Me how to move the stars of the Pleiades, or scatter the ones of Orion? Who gave you undertstanding of your own heart? Who gave you wisdom? Can you even perceive the breadth of the earth? Do you water the deserts where no man has set foot? Do you feed the lions? Do you keep the waves at bay, or know how light is created? Do you know how to make rivers, that the denizens thereof have homes? Where have you such understanding that you can question anything I do? Who gave you this responsibility?

    I am not Job. I have been blessed with abundance.

    See Job Chapter 38

  • VD

    I very much second Munson’s post. I am the proud possessor of what is almost certainly a psychopath in the family. Not clinically diagnosed, but two of my friends who know him well and I once answered the Hare PCL-R questions separately on his behalf. When we compared scores, two of us had 31 and the other had 32. He’s very good-looking, always makes a great first impression, and has always enjoyed easy success with women, but there is a palpable void behind the smile. He’s never been able to keep his friends, and as Munson correctly described, he has failed, sometimes spectacularly, at absolutely everything he’s ever done.

    The bizarre thing is how totally shameless they are. No matter what, it’s never their fault, and they always have some bizarre explanation that they provide with such a straight face that it’s very difficult to believe they’re lying even when the evidence is conclusive. I can’t tell you how many times people have expressed incredulity that this relative was claiming X when Y was indisputably the case.

  • this is Jen

    I think she’s so fucked up she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I think she’s
    hallucinating. But my second choice is she’s putting on an act. Of course, none
    of this precludes her getting off as well. But it doesn’t look that way to me.
    ===============================================

    I think if she were my daughter I might shave her head

  • M3

    This video is just sad.

    The moves she’s putting on the tree tells me she’s no amateur when it comes to the moves. I get the sense she’s been around the block.

    If she was my daughter, i’d sit her down and make her watch me cry in disappointment.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ VD #122

    There will never be a clinical diagnoses but the DSM VI (and none of the previous editions) recognize “psychopath”. It would probably require diagnoses in several areas. But the core reason they do what they do is they feel nothing. Shame is just another emotion they do not feel. Oh they’ll talk the talk if it’s expedient, to avoid something really unpleasant, like being gang raped in the shower until their asshole looks like the Liberty Bell, but they never feel it. If they felt anything they wouldn’t risk everything. They are very engaging; a psychiatrist once said (back when the term was more in vogue) “that when he walked on a psych unit he never needed to look for the psychopaths because “they come up and introduce themselves”. You’ll never meet a psychopath who has a true friend.

    As I said, I think this inability to feel anything (oh, they get aroused temporarily, like when a spider catches a fly) is why there schemes fail. They are chasing a mirage, a mirage that tells them when you have money, cars, women, “success” you will suddenly feel “happy”, but they don’t know what that is. They keep pushing; Madoff probably had a dozen times where with some deft handling he could have brought his Ponzi around, and maybe saved a lot of people or at least limited the damages. But he rode it right into the ground. How do they describe him now? Emotionless, expressionless.Since they can’t feel anything in themselves, how can they be expected to understand how you feel when you’ve lost your life savings investing in their project?

    Signs you may be dealing with a psychopath:
    1) He becomes your best friend too quickly.
    2) He overengages; way more energy/intimacy than the situation warrants.
    3) Vague about past jobs, businesses, places he has lived, family, friends.

    4) He will want something from you. This is the sine qua non. Usually money. Decent people do not ask others for money. Don’t cavil with me. You do not do it.

    5) He will flatter you. He will find what interests you and somehow work that into your routine. Decent people do not dazzle others. He will make you think you are not only the focus of his attention, but of the universe.

    I know many people do these things. If he’s doing these things and asking you for something, something significant, that’s the bright line. Cross with caution.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Cheerful #121

    I have read your response very very carefully-and it’s clear you bought my #118 post hook, line and sinker (“Of course, none of this precludes her getting off as well.”)

    DON’T DENY IT! YOU BOUGHT IT, AND IT IS ALL 100% USDA CERTIFIED STRAIGHT FROM THE BARN TO THE PAGE BULLSHIT!!!!! EVERY SINGLE BLESSED WORD!!!!

    (Note: Read the law firm’s name; leave out the ” &”)

    APRIL FOOLS!! GOTCHA!!!!!!!!!!!1

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Munson

      APRIL FOOLS!! GOTCHA!!!!!!!!!!!

      Haha you did get me! What can I say, when it comes to the law I believe every single word you say! And it’s not like there aren’t some truly bizarre statutes on the books…

  • Male Perspective

    Forget crime against nature and tree’s rights bs. The tree was clearly asking for it. Standing there all naked and stuff. I’m sick of slutty trees. Maybe this will teach them a lesson.

  • http://aplace-formythoughts.blogspot.com/ Renee

    Humans do dumb stuff.

    So I always wonder why people get all appalled when they see women behaving badly and sees it as a type of social commentary. They’re human too.

    I’m not saying it’s OK, of course not. But I’m not going to feel any differently than if a guy does dumb stuff.

  • A Definite Beta Guy

    Most humans are not this dumb.

  • http://jabootu.net/?p=4714 Pip

    Next time she tussles the timber she ought to tighten her tousers first.

  • VJ

    Seems to be surprisingly incredibly common somehow:

    http://www.salon.com/2012/03/28/bringing_home_a_porn_star/

    NOT an April Fool, but still… Cheers, ‘VJ’

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @VJ

      My mind is reeling. That Tracy Clark-Flory article is so alarming and depressing – she’s descended quite a distance in the three years I’ve been blogging. The most troubling thing was her description of the sex as mechanical and remote, followed by her characterization that it was thrilling and fun. I believe she’s in her 30s now – and she’s been open about wanting to find a life partner. She’s a cautionary tale.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    Wow just read that last link…

    I guess it’s good she found such an open minded guy. For the record, IMO sleeping with a porn actor is past my threshold of tolerance, as would be sleeping with any celebrity simply because they were famous. Its s sexual stamp collection, and anyone that has such a low view of their sexuality has no place with me.

  • Lokland

    @A Definite Beta Guy 129

    +1

  • J

    The most troubling thing was her description of the sex as mechanical and remote, followed by her characterization that it was thrilling and fun.

    Yeah, no kidding. I had a hard time reconciling those two descriptions myself.

    I think I know what porn star she is talking about. There’s some guy who I have seen mentioned on the net as being sort of a heart-throb who is being marketed to women. (IOW, he’s a handsome guy, not just a well-equipped one.) I assume that her initial fantasies about him were romantic and the mechanicalness of the actual experience was disappointing.

    Nonetheless, yuck. I mean this guy screws for a living…yuck.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @J

      I assume that her initial fantasies about him were romantic and the mechanicalness of the actual experience was disappointing.

      The way he walked around afterwards checking out her stuff and then matter of factly mentioned he should be going. As if he were just getting ready to depart from Jiffy Lube. Which I guess he was, come to think of it.

      All I can think is…her poor mother. Maybe there’s a support group for the mothers of these sex writers.

  • J

    The checking out of her stuff was odd–as though he was searching the apartment for some point of connection, something of mutual interest he could comment on, start a conversation about. Then the awkward, “I’ve got to be going.” You know, as much as some men claim otherwise, I don’t think it’s healthy for men to be indulging in physical intimacy before there is emotional intimacy. A lot of men just aren’t built that way.

  • Professor Ashur

    Socially speaking, that may be unrecoverable.

    Not in terms of being deemed unworthy of commitment, but more like the fat “Star Wars Kid” video. Eternal humiliation.

    This could represent the shark-jumping moment for sluttitudinous behavior.

  • A Definite Beta Guy

    Most women I know would find that tale enthralling and exciting. I must be running in a really bad social circle.

  • A Definite Beta Guy

    What is this nonsense about learning the difference between fantasy and reality by dating a porn star? What the hell am I reading? I realized this in the first grade after my first kiss didn’t instantly result in fireworks, world peace, and a white wedding.

    The woman had numerous casual hook ups before that were all disappointments. She couldn’t figure out from the previous 1, 2, 3….n guys that just because he looks hot doesn’t mean he is going to be great at sex?

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    “The woman had numerous casual hook ups before that were all disappointments. She couldn’t figure out from the previous 1, 2, 3….n guys that just because he looks hot doesn’t mean he is going to be great at sex?”

    Some people never learn… She probably figured they were all the ‘wrong’ guy, LOL. As if there is any ‘right’ guy for a casual encounter. I mean, if all you want is to used as a sex toy, the quality of the man is irrelevant.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    OK, I’m over my initial reaction to the video and ready to tell a joke it reminded me of, only because of the tree… (best if read out loud)

    Two birds were sitting in a tree arguing. The first bird said: “why this is the finest birch tree we’ve ever nested in!:

    The second bird says: “Surely you must be daft, this is not a birch tree! It is the finest beech tree I’ve ever seen”

    They go back and forth “birch” “beech” “birch” “beech” until a woodpecker lands on the branch next to them. The birds look at him and say: “excuse me kind woodpecker but would you help us with a dilemma? We cannot figure out if this lovely tree is a birch or a beach. Would you mind giving us your expert opinion?”

    The woodpecker shrugged and proceeded to peck at the tree. “Hmmmm….” he said. After a few moments, he sat up and said: “my friends, this is not a birch or a beech, but it is the finest piece of ash I’ve ever had my pecker in!”

  • Wudang

    Fantastic: