Hey Baby, I Bet You’re An ISFJ ;)

April 6, 2012

Due to  popular demand (H/T to Just1X) I’m putting up some information about personality types and the Myers-Briggs personality inventory. If you’re not familiar with it, from Wikipedia:

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment is a psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions. These preferences were extrapolated from the typological theories proposed by Carl Gustav Jung and first published in his 1921 book Psychological Types (English edition, 1923).

Regular readers here love discussing this in the comment threads, and it really has shed light on some interesting relationship dynamics. In particular, extraversion and introversion are highly correlated to relationship style, including infidelity!

If you’re interested in learning more:

First, take the test at Human Metrics

Then read up on your own personality type at David Markley’s site.

Type Logic is another good site.

You can test for soulmate compatibility too.

 

Some other posts you may find interesting:

Compatibility of Myers-Briggs Types Part 1

and Part 2

Incompatibility of Myers-Briggs Types

Myers-Briggs Types Under Stress

The Four Functions (Intuiting/Sensing, Thinking/Feeling)

The Four Attitudes (Extravert/Introvert, Perceiving/Judging)

 

I’m a clearcut case of ENFJ, which does not surprise me.

What type are you? 

Let’s have a contest to see who can come up with the best Myers-Briggs pickup line.

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  • Just1X

    Damnit, I was just off to bed (it’s late) and then you post this…

  • A Definite Beta Guy

    ENTJ

    Here’s the thing: for a long time, I was INTJ. When you are put in a crap culture, you screw people up and turn them into something they are not. At least, that’s the conclusion I have come to.

    Since getting into a better life spot….I’m a lot more extroverted.

  • Marie

    INFJ.. Got over 60% introvert! Oh my. This test made me feel awkward.

  • http://www.rosehope.com/ Hope

    Yay Marie! Finally, a fellow INFJ. I’m 89% Introverted, so it could be worse. :]

    I have a feeling most of the responses will be from iNtuitive types.

  • Just1X

    @Hope

    You called?

    Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging
    33 62 75 1

  • (r)Evoluzione

    ISFP. A rare bird. My strengths, and some cracks in the armor all found here.
    Keirsey, found here: http://www.keirsey.com , has a really unique take on the Meyers-Briggs stratification system, by developing an archetypal look at each group. It may be more applicable to job & career analysis, but I’ve found it’s useful in dating as well.

    BTW, your headline on this post would be considered a “cold read” in the world of game, and is considered “chick crack.” For that reason, I had to come & comment. I may have to consider working up a quick visual assessment & cold reading in this way. The few times I’ve brought out the old Meyers Briggs at a cocktail party, it always goes over well.

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    ENFJ
    Although I scored less in Feelings this time only 12 % I’m losing my feelings by the minute!!!! :p

  • Mike M.

    I switch-hit. INTP or INTJ…depending on the test. We did a full blown MBTI test at work about 20 years ago, I scored INTP. More recent online tests are INTJ. 56/88/75/44, if it matters, but I think the introversion score is too low. I’m not really a party animal.

  • http://Dannyfrom504.wordpress.com Dannyfrom504

    INTJ ftw.

  • Scipio Africanus

    INTP.

  • JCclimber

    ENFP. Not too many of us around. I read somewhere that less than 1% of those in leadership in corporations have this profile. Lonely at the top. (not really, we’re extroverted).

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      Interesting, already I see some new readers and old friends here. I figured this was a good post to put up over a holiday weekend.

      I find myself wishing I could know the type of everyone I deal with – it could go a long way toward figuring out why people act the way they do. I know my husband’s type, but I’m curious to find out my kids’ profile. I’m going to try and get them to take the test tomorrow.

  • Stingray

    ISTJ

  • Sassy6519

    ENTP here.

    Supposedly, my compatibilities are:

    ENTP most compatible with: INTP, ENTP, INFJ, ENFJ

    and this:

    ENTP women: most compatible with ENTJ
    men: most compatible with INTP, ESTP

    I could see myself ending up with an ENTP or INTP. I’m not sure about the other two possibilities.

    I’m drawing a blank for the Myer-Briggs pickup lines Susan.

  • Content

    INFJ 44 25 12 22
    Amazing how true this is.

  • Dogsquat

    I just took this again and I got:

    ENTP
    Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving
    1 62 25 11

    Yo bay-bee, lemme getchyo lettahs. Then Imma get yo digits.

    I got nothin. Switching work from days to nights sucks.

  • Sassy6519

    Yo bay-bee, lemme getchyo lettahs. Then Imma get yo digits.

    Who wouldn’t fall for that?

  • http://cupidselves.com Christina

    INTJ
    67 38 12 56

    Looks like there are a few here already, and I thought I was such a special snowflake! :-) It’s weird, but when I took the test about five years ago, I was an INFJ. I tend to bounce back and forth between thinking and feeling, so I guess that works. Happily married to an ENFJ.

  • Stingray

    I wonder how often people change? In college I was an INFP.

  • OffTheCuff

    INTJ, and I hate it. I forget the breakdown, but it’s something like 50 35 100 45.

    I’ll never be extroverted in the sense of gaining energy from crowds, but I do like being social. The 100 on T is a problem, too.

  • Marcus

    INTP

    When I first started researching the Myers-Briggs it was pretty revelatory for me. The idea that I could study human social interaction in a systematic manner and actually apply it to my social life was like breathing clearly after having had a wet blanket over my head all my life. This might sound a bit strange to all you feelers out there for whom the social aspect of your life comes a bit more naturally, but once a thinker learns and understands this system he or she can actually use it to develop easier interaction with others. Kind of like Game but from a different angle and less focused on romantic/sexual relationships. Actually, it seems that which types are most compatible in a romantic relationship is one of the few things widely disagreed upon in higher level writings on the subject. For myself I came to the conclusion that any two types can have a fulfilling and loving relationship, but some will require more work than others.

    I recommend trying to understand the whole MBTI system from the framework of the Jungian cognitive functions on which the MBTI is based, it makes much more logical sense when viewed that way.

  • SayWhaat

    Hmm. I used to think I was an ENFJ, but on this test I got ESFJ. Huh.

  • Marcus

    I’m seeing a lot of people talking about how their types have changed over the years, especially how they’ve become more extroverted and have changed from an I to an E. It doesn’t quite work like that. What’s more likely is either you typed yourself wrong earlier in life, or you are simply an introvert who has developed your extroverted function.

    The four letters aren’t each separate entities, they are integrally connected to each other. They are a shorthand for describing the cognitive functions which make up your psyche.

    The I or the E describe the attitude of your primary function. The second letter describes your Perceiving function (N or S). The Perceiving function is what we use to take in information to be processed. The third letter describes your Judging function (T or F). The Judging function is what you use to process the information you took in with the Perceiving function and make decisions about it. The last letter, P or J, tells you which function is Extroverted, either your Perceiving or Judging function.

    Take me for instance, INTP.

    The I means my primary function is Introverted
    The N means my Perceiving function is iNtuition
    The T means my Judging function is Thinking
    The P means my Extroverted function is Intuition

    This means that my primary function is Introverted Thinking (Ti), and my secondary function is Extroverted iNtuition (Ne).

    When an introvert starts to become more extroverted it is not because their personality type is changing, it is because they are properly developing the use of their secondary, Extroverted function. This is exactly what should happen for introverts. It can even be intentionally developed.

    We actually have all four super-categories of function in our personalities. For instance, the INTP’s functions in order are: Ti, Ne, Si, Fe. This is our order of preference. We are most comfortable organizing our ideas and the information we’ve taken in in a logical, systematic manner (Ti). When we’re interacting socially or with the outside world we prefer to sit back and observe for patterns and make intuitive connections (Ne). If forced we can remember schedules and memorize information, but it requires focused effort (Si), and we are woefully uncomfortable and often inept at understanding and sympathizing with other peoples values and feelings (Fe).

    For anyone who really wants to dive deep into the concept I recommend this (warning, very theory laden): http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=6582

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Marcus

      Kind of like Game but from a different angle and less focused on romantic/sexual relationships.

      That’s a great observation – there are real similarities, as both address human nature, and provide information that can be useful in understanding and influencing social interactions. Game is primarily focused on understanding “the other” – women in this case, while MB helps us understand ourselves, which is probably even more important. It’s not easy, of course, and most of us are too lazy to study it.

      I’m seeing a lot of people talking about how their types have changed over the years, especially how they’ve become more extroverted and have changed from an I to an E. It doesn’t quite work like that. What’s more likely is either you typed yourself wrong earlier in life, or you are simply an introvert who has developed your extroverted function.

      While my test results have been consistently ENFJ all of my adult life, I am becoming more introverted as I age. I don’t feel that my personality is changing so much, as that I am increasingly valuing solitude as a way to recharge. I think it’s because of the nature of the work I do here – although it’s online, I am nearly always engaging with others in some way, and I do get enormous energy and gratification from that. When the weekend comes, and my husband is home, I’m more likely to want to batten down the hatches and nest with him than go out on the town.

      As I’ve gotten busier, I’ve also chosen to let some relationships atrophy – the ones that are more a social convenience than a real friendship based on common values and compatibility. Family also becomes more important as I age – I am keenly aware of my dad’s nearing 80.

      I think that to some extent, when we shift our priorities, and the way we spend our time, we may draw out the E or I in ourselves. My guess is that my E percentage has gone down over time, and I could even identify certain questions that I know I would have answered differently even 10 years ago.

  • INTJ

    This test is the most accurate in my experience: http://www.mypersonality.info/ (though you do have to register an account before taking the free test).

  • GudEnuf

    Personally, I think this Mayers-Briggs stuff is one step above astrology.

    But I’m an INTJ, so I would say that.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Gud Enuf

      Personally, I think this Mayers-Briggs stuff is one step above astrology.

      Heh, don’t use that as a pickup line. As (r)Ev pointed out, this stuff is chick crack. It’s funny you should mention astrology – as I read my ENFJ description, I noted that it is similar in some ways to descriptions of Libra. Wooo wooo wooo.

  • Catalina

    ENFP =3 i’m one of the rare ones lol

  • Daniel de León

    ESTJ

    Ain’t that a bitch.

  • thefemaleperspective

    ENFP..11/12/50/22

    Well well, I guess I’m a rare one too..or according to davidmarkley.com CAPTAIN WILDCHILD :D

  • FeralEmployee

    Personally, I think this Myers-Briggs stuff is one step above astrology.

    In my opinion, it can say a thing or two about your personality. But people often tumble into the categorical classification mindset. It is a continuous spectrum in four “dimensions”. Many will score somewhere in between.

    Judging people based on an astrology sign is retarded, judging them based on their MBTI type is over-generalizing. That said: INTJ. Some two years ago I scored 95% introversion, it has toned down since. Aside from P-J, my case is pretty extreme.

  • Brendan

    ISTJ, and also more than 60% introverted. It’s been that way for years, with the “I” teetering back and forth between 50ish and 75ish. Overall, though, ISTJ is not *that* uncommon.

    Introverts, take heart. There’s a good new book out by one of us about the positive aspects of introverts — very culturally subversive, of course, in a culture designed by, of, and for extroverts, but required ready for Is, I think: http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352145/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333798351&sr=8-1

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Brendan

      There’s a good new book out by one of us about the positive aspects of introverts — very culturally subversive, of course, in a culture designed by, of, and for extroverts

      You raise a very important point. Our culture rewards extroversion very strongly. This has even filtered down into the elementary schools. I’ve shared this story before, but it’s relevant here, so I will again.

      At a teacher meeting when my son was in 6th grade, his male teacher, an introvert, suggested that my son had leadership potential and needed to do a better job of developing it. He said that if he didn’t do that, he would wind up a follower. He also specifically stated that with his quiet ways, he would be a good role model for some of the more obstreperous boys in the class. I had two problems with this. First, the boys who were naturally more energetic and had trouble sitting still were being shamed and probably diagnosed with ADD. Second, we saw this as a form of bias against introversion. We asked the teacher whether it wasn’t unrealistic to expect every kid to be a leader, and he answered that colleges (still 6 years away!) would be looking for leadership.

      We need to restore balance to this societal expectation. Introverts do many things better than extroverts do, and I see hookup culture as just one example where we’re trying to force people into very extroverted behaviors. (In my view, hitting on and getting naked with a stranger is not something that most introverts would feel comfortable with, correct me if I’m wrong.)

  • Desiderius

    Off the charts NP.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @Desiderius

      E or I? It’s hard to tell online.

  • pvw

    INTJ big time, which is why I’m an academic, I can spend hours dealing with interesting ideas to research and write about, planning curricula, developing classes….I feel though that I have developed my extraversion more so as I have gotten older–socializing was more difficult when I was a teenager…Yet, I’m in a field that requires me to use extraversion, communicating with people, lecturing, presenting my ideas…But at heart, I like downtime.

    A perfect example, in my department, I can tell who the introverts are and who the extraverts are just by walking down the hall and looking at my colleagues’ doors–are the doors open/closed? Are they around every day? What are their office hours like?

    Introverts: I am available to our students after class and when I have office hours, usually for an hour or two before or after class. Otherwise, they can feel free to email me. Yesterday, I was in at 8, but available from around 10, when most of the students come on campus, until I had class at 11. I was done by noon and out the door by 12:30.

    I like working with students, but it can be challenging. The students often have lots of anxieties about graduate school and if anything, it can be an infantilizing experience, in that they seem to go back to the emotional level of junior high school children. For me, as an INTJ, it is just too much!

    I carve out the time when I have to be in, and it is all worked around my teaching schedule. If I’m in and I have no office hours, I’m more likely to have the door closed because I need the time to get work done. If the door is open, I’m just shooting the breeze before class begins; it is not because I expect anyone to stop by. If someone stops by, I’m surprised, but I am glad to chat with them nonetheless, it is part of my job (the extraversion side coming out).

    Extraverts: These colleagues are in every day, whether or not they are teaching. Their office doors are always open. As for their office hours, they have them posted; in addition, they note that students should just drop in whenever they feel like it…That for me (as an INTJ) is just way too much–too many people in and out, looking to chat and so forth….

    Pick-up lines? INTJ–still waters run deep? Quietly wild???? Something about quiet librarians and nerdy girls who wear eyeglasses? Prissy ladies who seem very conservative but wear Victoria’s secret?

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      @PVW

      I like that observation about personality type being reflected in closed or open doors. As an extrovert, I have always been the open door type, and I have even felt rejected in some way if a colleague closes theirs. In fact, I think extraverts may tend to worry about being judged or disliked when they interact with introverts. That reticence or reserve may be interpreted as aloofness or dislike by more extraverted people.

      I know this has been true for my husband in his career. In the early days, he was at times perceived as aloof, and was astounded to hear this. He has had to learn to be more extraverted and even emotive – something one would not necessarily expect in finance!

  • pvw

    Funny, I posted prior to taking the test, which I just did:

    Your Type is

    INTJ
    Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging
    Strength of the preferences %
    56 50 75 100

    Qualitative analysis of your type formula

    You are:
    moderately expressed introvert

    moderately expressed intuitive personality

    distinctively expressed thinking personality

    very expressed judging personality

  • Tom.s

    INTJ 40 12 50 44

    I think one of the reasons I’m so moderate is because I find exceptions to a lot of the questions.

    -I take satisfaction in organizing…. but I hardly do it!
    -I enjoy helping/empathizing… but too much for the same person on a regular basis (ex girlfriend comes to mind) and I want to RUN!
    -I regularly enjoy getting away from it all… but boy do I like hanging out with my friends/family!
    -I stick to routines and habits and proven methods… but I LOVE to experiment and explore!
    -I make decisions with logic/reason… but yet my new job is one I’m following with my heart.

    I wish I could offer a pickup line, but flirting is a skill I lack :(

  • Just1X

    @Tom.s

    I agree with the desires vs does.

    Also, for me many of the questions would’ve been answered differently given a more precise context. But hey, I’m INT=

  • Emily

    INTP :)

    There sure seem to be a lot of us around these parts…

  • Just1X

    Being a borderline, I was interested in INTP compared to INTJ

    I found an interesting (not just for INTJ) site. Some interesting comments.
    http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=11941

    “To put it more succinctly, INTPs are perfectionists of thought, INTJs are perfectionists of action. For an INTP action is inferior, a servile function to support the perfection of ideas. We will carry actions out, but only in so far as they further our understanding. For an INTJ this priority is reversed, understanding is a servant of doing. They will learn as much as is necessary to get the job done.”

  • adam isom

    Wow, I consulted the newspaper today, and I knew what – I AM a Cancer! It fits so well!
    “Cancers will certainly be merry if their home life is serene and harmonious.” Definitely. “Cancers are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood” Yeah, you bet, sometimes I don’t understand why I feel less social sometimes.

    In all seriousness, archetypes are not scientific and the Myers-Brigg test is apparently based off of them.
    The test results can be more scientific than astrology yet still not be *very* scientific.
    Here’s one way of thinking about evidence: something *might* be evidence if it’s opposite is not also considered evidence. So here’s your challenge: have someone take the Myers-Brigg test *but then tell them their score is the exact opposite of what it really is*. The extent to which you can convince them, compared to how convincing their real test results are, is a heuristic for the degree of “scientific-ness” of the test.

  • adam isom

    Let me add one thing: you CANNOT just look at your current test results and then look at the opposite and then say ‘well, geez! the opposite results wouldn’t have been nearly as convincing!’
    You can’t do that because of something called the hindsight bias. You need fresh evidence.

    Consider these scientific hypotheses, results, and explanations regarding WW II soldiers:
    * Better educated soldiers suffered more adjustment problems than less educated soldiers. (Intellectuals were less prepared for battle stresses than street-smart people.)
    * Southern soldiers coped better with the hot South Sea Island climate than Northern soldiers. (Southerners are more accustomed to hot weather.)
    *White privates were more eager to be promoted to noncommissioned officers than Black privates. (Years of oppression take a toll on achievement motivation.)

    Very reasonable explanations, right? If you didn’t know I was talking about the hindsight bias, you *would* have believed them too. But guess what? Thea actual scientific findings are the *opposite* of these. It’s easy to believe something in hindsight because we think an explanation counts as evidence, but that’s a tricky issue.

  • King Turnip

    ENTJ
    11, 100, 1, 1

  • http://www.phoenixism.net An Unmarried Man

    I’ve taken the test twice and scored INTJ both times. It seems to me our type lends itself to the cybercommunity quite nicely. It’s much easier to control your immersion is social life online than in RL.

  • Bob

    INTJ — and how to Seduce one

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    I agree with the desires vs does.
    Me too I value organization and if someone gives me a schedule I’m more than happy to follow it. Will I make the schedule myself. NEVER! So that is a trick question.

    In fact, I think extraverts may tend to worry about being judged or disliked when they interact with introverts.

    I think the fact that my mother is an introvert helped me to find their habits okay and even comforting. Maybe extroverts should spent more time with their opposite to learn no to take it personal.

  • Just1X

    @a lucky man #46

    yep, I said something like that recently. am going to have to dial back the net a little I think, as I need to start getting things done IRL

  • Just1X

    Nice link Uncle Bob

    “INTJs are almost invariably intelligent, knowledgeable, and witty”

    I didn’t like to say so myself *huffs on fingernails, polishes them and examines them*

    Not quite so keen on the comparison to Hannibal Lecter…have you been talking to my ex-wife perchance?

  • Brendan

    We asked the teacher whether it wasn’t unrealistic to expect every kid to be a leader, and he answered that colleges (still 6 years away!) would be looking for leadership.

    We need to restore balance to this societal expectation. Introverts do many things better than extroverts do, and I see hookup culture as just one example where we’re trying to force people into very extroverted behaviors. (In my view, hitting on and getting naked with a stranger is not something that most introverts would feel comfortable with, correct me if I’m wrong.)

    I think it can turn up in different ways.

    There are leaders in offices and elsewhere who are naturally introverted. Most of them have learned to behave in apparently extroverted ways to maintain their positions. That is — introverts can behave like extroverts with effort, but it takes away a good deal of energy, and when they do, they need to recuperate, typically in some rather introverted way, at the end of the day. A good way to think about how it “feels” is that introverts have less natural social energy than extroverts do, and so they need to ration or budget their social energy in the best ways, or the most effective ways, to get the most out of life without feeling like the wheels are coming off the bus (which is how it can feel when an introvert is forced to behave in extroverted ways for extended periods without being given the chance to recuperate in an introverted way to recharge the social energy batteries). Some introverts get into the comfort zone of not expending their social energy very much at all — i.e., over-conserving it in a way — but this tends to lessen social outcomes and is therefore sub-optimal. The key is learning to ration the social energy in an optimal way while being an introvert.

    On the hookup thing, I’d think an introvert could ration their social energy in such a way as to participate in hookups successfully, all else being equal. But other aspects of socialization would suffer, probably — the piper needs to be paid, in a sense. I do think that it would not be as “natural” for this behavior to occur in an introvert, however, due, again, to the social energy rationing issue.

  • Jon

    INTJ for me.

    This is probably the most popular pickup line used by INTJ’s:

    ” “

  • Bob

    I know..it’s a little creepy. But Hannibal Lecter is clearly an INTJ. I suspect the author Thomas Harris is one, too, which is why he understands them so well. I suspect most authors are INTJs. I’m sure Stephen King is one.

  • http://www.phoenixism.net An Unmarried Man

    INTJ’s are voyeurs, but not in the typical stand-outside-your-window sense. We want to see more deeply everything that stirs in your soul. Your INTJ post in very insightful, Bob.

  • Jesus Mahoney

    Sue,

    At a teacher meeting when my son was in 6th grade, his male teacher, an introvert, suggested that my son had leadership potential and needed to do a better job of developing it. He said that if he didn’t do that, he would wind up a follower.

    The leader/follower dichotomy itself reflects a bias towards extroverts. Introverts want neither. For true introverts, the two poles might be better stated as “maverick/recluse.”

    As for MBTI in pick up, Idk if I could come up with a “line,” though it might work as a routine. Take the extroversion/introversion as an example, since it seems to me that they’re the easiest to recognize when first meeting a person: you approach it as if you were doing a “read” on a girl’s personality. You could even tell her that you can read someone’s personality by gazing into her eyes or examining the palm of her hand. To the extent that your “read” is correct, you’ll establish interest and rapport.

    You could even tell her about the MBTI sometime afterward since it would make an interesting conversation and perhaps tease her by giving her a subtle neg: “you fell for that eye thing so easily.”

  • Jesus Mahoney

    Oh, and I have to go, so bye to all. Happy Easter. I’ll be back in like a week.

  • Jet Tibet

    The main criticism of Myers-Briggs is that only a small part of the population really fits into one of the 16 boxes. Many people score differently depending on when they take the test.

    I myself am strong INTP married to a strong ESFJ and it makes for interesting living.

  • FeralEmployee

    @Jon

    Don’t forget

    “Meh…”
    “Hmm…”

    And its over the top enthusiastic version

    “Ah…”

  • Tom.s

    I often process things internally. My friends at school used to call me out on it, especially my roommate. I call it ‘spacing- out’. Does any one else do this? I just go into my own little world on a tangent of thoughts that was sparked by something in a conversation.

    Can anyone else relate? Is this related to introversion?

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    I often process things internally. My friends at school used to call me out on it, especially my roommate. I call it ‘spacing- out’. Does any one else do this? I just go into my own little world on a tangent of thoughts that was sparked by something in a conversation.

    Can anyone else relate? Is this related to introversion?

    I did that a lot and it used to drive my parents crazy I don’t think it has to do with Extroversion or Introversion but with iNtuition. I learned to do it in private or among strangers but is still the way I process most things.

  • Mike C

    Your Type is
    ISTJ
    Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
    Strength of the preferences %
    78 1 75 67

    ISTJ type description by D.Keirsey
    ISTJ Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™ ISTJ Famous Personalities
    ISTJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss

    Qualitative analysis of your type formula

    You are:

    very expressed introvert
    slightly expressed sensing personality
    distinctively expressed thinking personality
    distinctively expressed judging personality

  • Mike C

    Not surprised to see Brendan and Stingray are ISTJs as I often find myself nodding in agreement when I read their various comments.

    Interesting thing about ISTJs that I read on one of these analysis sites, is they are the I’s best able to sort of “fake” and/or be perceived as E’s by other people.

    When I need to or perceive it is in my interest, I can sort of switch into the “extroverted, outgoing” mode.

  • pvw

    Susan:

    I think extraverts may tend to worry about being judged or disliked when they interact with introverts. That reticence or reserve may be interpreted as aloofness or dislike by more extraverted people.

    My reply:

    Funny, as an introvert, I felt the same type of thing, but in a different way, that I was judged for not being as gregarious. I get the sense a fair number of people might say they have known me for a long time but that they don’t really “know” me, in the sense that I don’t chat much about myself, my life or my feelings. To that extent, I have cultivated an extraverted persona, in which I talk about stuff, ideas, current events, and so forth, but not about the other stuff, which to me is just way too indescreet…

    Tom.s and Anacaona, regarding processing things internally, that is me all the way; I feel no need to let the whole world know everything that I’m thinking of at any moment.

  • Just1X

    @FeralEmployee

    “@Jon

    Don’t forget

    “Meh…”
    “Hmm…”

    And its over the top enthusiastic version

    “Ah…””

    hmmm, bit wordy for my liking, why not a small smile, or for less extreme situations, tweaking one corner of your mouth (but don’t over do it)

  • ExNewYorker

    Your Type is
    ISTJ
    Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
    Strength of the preferences %
    78 38 12 22

    Qualitative analysis of your type formula

    You are:
    very expressed introvert
    moderately expressed sensing personality
    slightly expressed thinking personality
    slightly expressed judging personality

    At work, I can sometimes fake being an E, but it drains me.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      It is definitely interesting how many of our profound thinkers are ISTJ in particular, and Is in general. I think Es are definitely more oriented toward small talk, spreading their energy around in a lot of different areas, and less analytical in general.

      That makes me wonder – are the male and female populations split the same way? We know men tend to be more analytical, and I think introverts are more analytical. I would say I’m on the analytical side for an extrovert, but not compared to many here. And I really need the constant shifting of ideas/posts. The idea of analyzing the same data in more and more detail sounds extremely unappealing to me. I’d rather scratch the surface enough to get a sense of something and move along. This probably has more to do with than just E. Thoughts?

  • Sassy6519

    @ Susan Walsh

    I think extroverts can be analytical, but not because of their extroversion. I think the desire or capability to analyze things lies with the N or T trait. I’m extroverted, but I’m also one of the few female NTs. I think the NT part of my personality profile allows me to break things down into their core components and discuss them ad nausea. I’ve started way too many debates and theoretical discussions on this site to not be aware of it.

    I think Perceivers are also better at discussing abstract concepts than Judgers because they take a completely detached and objective standpoint on most subjects. Bias is the enemy to Perceivers.

  • Marie

    Hope – what are your percentages?
    I took the test yesterday, and got INFJ. I took it again today and might have unknowingly changed my answers, and got INTJ.
    Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging
    78 38 1 44
    My ‘thinking’ is so low – I wonder what that means? The personality descriptions seem to focus on whether you’re introvert or extrovert.

  • Chow Main Man

    T Ricky Raw does a good breakdown on the psychological type that gravitates towards the pickup artist industry.

    http://therawness.com/reader-letters-1-part-4/

  • http://www.rosehope.com/ Hope

    Marie, my breakdown was something like 89 I, 30 N, 55 F, 60 J. I don’t remember the exact numbers anymore except for the first one.

    The description of INFJ is a bit different from INTJ, but if you’re in the middle then maybe you have a bit of both. :P

  • OffTheCuff

    The descriptions often have no negatives associated with them. I wonder how an ESFP (my polar opposite) can function in the world, or, rather, how the world can function with people who live entirely in the moment, and do exactly what they feel like all the time. I would love to live this way, but it sounds like a child, and i could never get away with it. How do they not get addicted to drugs, or even balance a checkbook? Who cleans up after their mess? Is it something only good-looking people can pull off?

  • Chow Main Man

    I’m in the middle of reading T Ricky Raw’s psychoanalysis of the PUA industry and man I think he nailed it;

    “Codependents often become that way because they had one or two narcissistic parents. These narcissistic parents trained the codependent from childhood to put their own feelings and needs on the backburner and focus on the needs of the parents first and foremost. This caused them to grow up believing that their job in relationships is to please others at their own expense. Codependents tend to have extreme chemistry with narcissist lovers because these narcissistic, hard-to-please lovers subconsciously remind them of their narcissistic, hard-to-please parents, and often push the same emotional hot buttons. They view these narcissistic lovers as a second chance to get their childhood right.

    Some examples of the types of guys who get drawn to learning pickup are guys with the following problems: white knights with caretaker values; codependents; guys who chronically put women on pedestals; guys who had emotional incest and enmeshment issues with their mothers (mama’s boys); guys with fathers who were weak, distant or narcissistic; guys who grew up as parentified children. What all these guys have in common are that they have feelings of low self-worth and inferiority and they deal with these feelings through the faulty coping strategy of surrendering to them, meaning they unquestioningly accept them as true.

    The right thing for these guys to do would be to deal with these core issues of low self-worth feelings and their inferiority feelings so that they can fix them once and for all. What pickup teaches them to do however is not to fix feelings but instead to switch from their current faulty coping strategy, which is surrender, to another faulty coping strategy of overcompensation. Using overcompensation, they repress these unwanted feelings with defense mechanisms so that they end up blocking themselves from consciously accessing this self-hatred. They learn to rationalize away and deny their feelings of low self-worth. They learn to project away their feelings of inferiority and self-hatred onto others. (Ever wonder why pickup artists develop this fanatical hatred of beta males? It’s their hatred of the beta traits they fear still exist within themselves, so they try to destroy these unwanted traits by first projecting them onto other male targets and then destroying those other targets.) They also learn to use another defense mechanism of intellectualization to cope with these low self-worth feelings, which is where all the mental masturbation and books on evolutionary psychology, animal behavior, persuasion, sales, New Age thinking and success literature like Tony Robbins comes in (not that there’s anything inherently wrong with any of this literature but rather in the way they are being used in this speak instance as a way to avoid fixing core issues).

    Remember what I said before. Codependents are people who have surrendered to their low self-worth feeling and have constant conscious access to them. Narcissists are people who have overcompensated and rebelled against their low self-worth feelings and constantly block their conscious access to these feelings using defense mechanisms like rationalization, denial, projection and intellectualization. These are the very same tools that pickup artistry encourages a codependent to use in order to deal with his low self-worth. Do you see the issue now? Pickup artistry does not fix the codependent; it just changes him from a codependent into a narcissist by ignoring the core issues and instead training him to switch from the faulty coping strategy of surrender to the preferred faulty coping strategy of the narcissist, which is overcompensation. It’s just trading one toxic personality dysfunction for a worse, harder-to-cure toxic personality dysfunction.”

  • Ted D

    Still INTJ. And if we are throwing in astrology, I’m a Cancer, which I blame for my “gooey emotional center”.

    Susan – I’ve been told by several people I know well that when we first met they always felt like I was judging them. One girl in particular said she sometimes thought I was looking right through her. Lol. I was just trying to figure her out. I guess it must look creepy when I go into that mode.

    I have to be very careful when my SO and I get into any serious discussions because she has told me more than once that she starts feeling like I’m being judgmental. I don’t do it intentionally, it really is my default mode.

  • Ted D

    Your Type is
    INTJ
    Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging
    Strength of the preferences %
    89 38 88 100

    Really? 100 in judging? Lol

    My SO took the test: ENFJ not nearly as strong in her numbers though.

    And yikes, the compatibility test didn’t score us so well. :(

  • Mike M.

    Being judgemental is my job (flight test engineer). :-)

    That being said, I suspect that part of introversion is simply not having much in common with people. I run into it myself – I find pop culture and most sports boring beyond words. But if you want to discuss national security policy or precision shooting, I’ll talk your ear off.

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    And yikes, the compatibility test didn’t score us so well.

    Don’t worry that much about it people pay too much credit to compatibility when is respect the key. Two people can be oil and vinegar and still make it if both don’t try to turn the other into their side and give them space to be, of course not too little as not to suffocate and not too much as to make them feel unloved, IME, YMMV.

  • Senior Beta

    Also ISTJ. My only question is “what is Munson?”

  • Alias

    At parties- I’m on the dancefloor or chatting away
    At work- open door, everyone visits
    At school- was always an active participant
    Enjoy performing on stage/public speaking
    While running errands, chat to any/everyone that’ll listen

    Naturally, I’m an Introvert! Ha
    Even when I took MBT decades ago.
    Not high though,
    I need to recuperate/recharge, ration it out in small doses
    Not be constantly on the go, lots of down time
    just as Brendan stated in #51

    -INFJ-

  • Ted D

    Ana – I’m not too concerned. We have some very similar traits in things that are important, and we are learning how to work around the areas where we are different.

    On the bright side, our astrological compatibility is pretty good, so maybe that puts us right in the middle. :-p

  • Just1X

    @Susan #66

    I suspect that you’d end up with two scatter plots which might well show something interesting. INTP / INTJ / ESTJ etc is fine for a pigeonholing exercise, but the numbers show where you lie on each spectrum (which I think would be the more interesting plot (or set of plots unless you have a 4d monitor)).

    I would go further, but I just found the perfect paper
    https://hkn.eecs.berkeley.edu/~noaa/FinalPaper.pdf
    figure 9 was what I was thinking of, might be down to STEMmy-ness though…they say people preferred radial rendering of results.

    Put enough people’s results on the same plot and I think you’d find that you could say things on the statistical level about the HUS readership. You’d need a page that allowed people to input their numbers, show their individual plot(s) and the aggregate of everybody so far.

    ‘fraid I’m not a webby-techy person myself, particularly not when it comes to the capabilities of blog sites.

  • Tom.s

    @ Just1X

    I just took a few minutes to tally up the results, because I had been thinking what you just wrote about quantifying and analyzing the data we have in front of us.

    INTJ——15
    ISTJ——5
    INTP—–4
    INFJ——3
    ENTJ—–2
    ENFJ—–2
    ENTP—–2
    ENFP—–2
    ISFP——1
    INFP——1
    ESFJ——1
    ESTJ——1

    I ordered them highest to lowest, and any like numbers were ordered based on who posted their MBTI first

  • Just1X

    Hi Tom

    cool, perhaps someone versed in what the things mean needs to take it from here? I find the subject entertaining, but mining for deeper truths is beyond my knowledge…I like graphs and plots though (it’s STEM thing)

  • http://photoncourier.blogspot.com david foster

    Mike M….”I suspect that part of introversion is simply not having much in common with people”….partly true, I think….but the truly dedicated extrovert enjoys conversational interaction for its own sake, so much that he can enjoy talking with people he *doesn’t* have much in common with.

  • BuckeyeBri

    ENTJ…weak on the T aspect though, as I’ve always been able to shift to being an ENFJ when needed. Surprising though, as having a strong streak, one would think I’d score higher in that area.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Senior

    ISTJ too. I took it as honestly as I could; the description sure didn’t sound like me. But it’s a confusing test. I hate parties, but once there to relieve what nervousness I will start going off on stuff,, and usually dominate because while introverted I’m very talkative.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    BTW Gene Tunney was an introvert too; also tore the ass of Jack Dempsey, twice.

  • http://www.marriedmansexlife.com Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life

    I’m an INTP but an oddly balanced one these days. I’ve never done so much with other people, felt so strongly and been so out of my head and into action.

    • http://www.hookingupsmart.com Susan Walsh

      I’m an INTP but an oddly balanced one these days. I’ve never done so much with other people, felt so strongly and been so out of my head and into action.

      Whoo Hoo, Athol sighting!

  • Allie

    Isfj here and it’s a pretty accurate description of me!

  • INTJ

    @ Tom.s

    Wow that’s amazingly skewed. Apparently INTJs and ISTJs constitute over half of the readers on this blog. Makes sense since IxTJs are the most loyal MBTI types. Still, I would not have expected results skewed so far. Especially for the us INTJs, who are the rarest personality in the United States.

  • http://www.marriedmansexlife.com Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life

    Lulz… online and opinionated enough to leave a comment on a blog, of course we’ll get a ton of INTJ’s.

    I’m gonna declare INTJ’s the official troll MBTI. :-D

  • Sassy6519

    Wow that’s amazingly skewed. Apparently INTJs and ISTJs constitute over half of the readers on this blog. Makes sense since IxTJs are the most loyal MBTI types. Still, I would not have expected results skewed so far. Especially for the us INTJs, who are the rarest personality in the United States.

    Actually, INTJ is not the rarest type. INFJ is.

    http://www.capt.org/mbti-assessment/estimated-frequencies.htm

    The link above also breaks things down by gender, which I find pretty cool.

  • Herb

    INTP nearly every time but one of the above has put me INTJ and a couple of times I’ve come up ENTP.

  • OffTheCuff

    I’m not surprised INxx types are overrepresented here. Who else would sit in front of a computer and debate this stuff at any length? I would imagine regular people find this stuff stupid. That’s why I don’t tell anyone. I use my powers for chaotic good.

  • INTJ

    @ Sassy6519

    Oh yeah. INFJs are so rare that I forgot all about them. xD

  • Brendan

    The prevalence of iNtjs over iStjs is quite startling, given that INTJs are the lowest represented overall in the population.

  • Brendan

    Or one of the lowest, rather — corrected. It’s quite odd that it’s the most prevalent by far, even over ISTJs, who are also very prominent online.

  • http:thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com Dan_Brodribb

    Thanks for the link Chow Main Man. That article was interesting reading.

    I’ve scored as an INFJ and INFP, depending on the test.

  • Desiderius

    Susan,

    “E or I? It’s hard to tell online.”

    Not nearly as hard as it is offline.

    BTW, not many S’s online – they prefer meatspace.

  • SayWhaat

    BF is INFJ. Totally called it.

  • J

    INTP 33 62 25 56

    moderately expressed introvert
    distinctively expressed intuitive personality
    moderately expressed thinking personality
    moderately expressed perceiving personality

  • http://www.rosehope.com Hope

    SayWhaat, nice! INFJ men are totally the 1%. :P

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    I’m not surprised INxx types are overrepresented here. Who else would sit in front of a computer and debate this stuff at any length? I would imagine regular people find this stuff stupid. That’s why I don’t tell anyone. I use my powers for chaotic good.

    Heh you should see me debating DC vs Marvel (in the old times of the war now is Manga vs Comics), Twilight, Literary critic, books, movies, John Carter…really my husband doesn’t understand why I need to “make people right on the Internet” I guess he is not an N. He did the test a while ago but I only remember he was the Artisan which means that he is an S. But like Ted our astrological signs and our chinese sign mix and like mentioned before I think flexibility and respect are more important than compatibility in the long run, YMMV.

  • http://lilylimingwang.com lotuskitty

    I just tested ENFP. I’m very analytical and totally a regular reader of HUS. Regarding the extroversion/ introversion,it’s hard to pinpoint and define the terms sometimes. I definitely prefer to have other people around,to the extent it’s difficult for me to be alone. I need some sort of connection with another human being at all times it feels,so I guess I will take small talk over nothing at times,but I prefer and seek out deeper conversation and connection. I was shyer when I was little,so I guess it took time for me to come out of my shell and express my extroversion. But I’ve always preferred more intimate interactions to share and discuss ideas. I guess that’s the N part, I think abstractly a lot. Any of the other ENFPs relate? I’ve always felt quite different on the inside than other “extroverts”,sometimes I think I may be introverted but just really need to express myself. I’ve definitely never felt “normal”,that’s for sure :)

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    LOL around these parts that’s a bit like seeing Big Foot! I saw his new post today and it seems he will be a VERY busy and happy guy. I have to pop over and say grats. ;)

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ lotus #103

    Normal is a town in Oklahoma that no one has been to, or wants to.

  • J

    not many S’s online – they prefer meatspace

    EEWWW. Meatspace is scary and fraught with dangers….

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    LOL around these parts that’s a bit like seeing Big Foot!

    I actually think of it as seeing Elvis! The king is alive! I knew it!
    Or maybe I should say Pedro Infante ;)

  • http://www.lilylimingwang.com lotuskitty

    @tvmunson #106

    Aww, I feel extremely honored to receive a compliment from you :)
    And yes, I do take pride in being somewhat eccentric.
    Interesting story to the creation of “Normal” btw.

  • Harkat

    I’m INTJ apparently. Can’t say I’m much of a hard science person though…neither am I a hard worker. I relate to about half of the INTJ descriptions and half of the INTP descriptions.

  • Jason773

    ENTJ

  • also intj

    I barely get INTJ. Maybe I’d better change that user name to intj/infj.
    INTJ: 78-50-1-48

    I can really see how the T/F balance shows itself in my close relationships, and it certainly has worked well for me.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    It seems that many people are just barely a specific type and/or easily switch from one to another. I am not one of those people. :P

    I would venture to guess that such people are much more versatile than I am, and can probably find themselves able to work and flourish in varying environments with more ease than those people that are firmly planted in a specific type.

  • also intj

    Ted, I think a person being aware of how he or she reacts is helpful in adapting though. Having those around you know how you react is helpful too. One thing I do without being aware of it is when told of a problem by one of my kids, immediately start looking at it from all possible angles and start brainstorming solutions. One of my kids is very aware of this and calls it Dad Mode. He’ll tell me he just needs me to be to supportive and in Mom Mode at that moment. It really helps both of us that he is so aware of it and tells me what he needs.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    Also INTJ – Oh yeah, no doubt. I still have to resist the urge to start throwing possible solutions at my SO when she comes home and wants to tell me about her crappy day at work. I can’t explain to her just HOW MUCH it bothers me to hear a problem and not be allowed to at least try to solve it. It’s like any time someone complains to me, something in my head says “challenge accepted” and off I go looking for solutions.

    But hey, at least by forcing that urge down, I’ve become a better listener!

  • http://www.lilylimingwang.com lotuskitty

    @Ted D and also intj

    I think that’s one of the fundamental differences between men and women. Women talk to share feelings, frustrations, to empathize with each other. When a woman complains about something, she just wants the listener to show support and listen. But men are instinctively “fixers” and have trouble understanding the purpose of just talking about it.

  • also intj

    I think it’s more personality type than being a man or a woman. I’m a woman. I’m very good at empathy, but also tend toward “see a problem, solve a problem.” To me, it’s that T/F split in action. It’s actually been very nice to have both.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ lotus # 109

    Gerry Spence was speaking at a seminar I attended and he said, appropos of whatever, that we should hug oursleves to sleep thanking God for that which makes us “different”. We are all, and I mean all, of us much more alike than we are different. The movie “Big”; “We are all 10 years old.” Most of social interactive life is masking one’s insecurities, in thousands of ways. Looking nonchalant at a party of strangers, appearing indifferent to a snub, looking amused and engaged when you are lonely and down. I’ve rarely met a truly standoffish person; but many people are shy, and people assume they are aloof. And people who are not shy, and in fact are confident, don’t advertise it. Noueau rich people assume being condescending and adopting attitude is how one shows “class”. It is not.

    Enough lecture. I love the line in “Normal” when Lang says to her about to be trans’d husband: “You think only of yourself and your needs; only a man thinks that way. You’ll never be a woman.”

  • Stingray

    I still have to resist the urge to start throwing possible solutions at my SO when she comes home and wants to tell me about her crappy day at work. I can’t explain to her just HOW MUCH it bothers me to hear a problem and not be allowed to at least try to solve it.

    Ted,

    You are solving her problem by listening to it. Her problem isn’t the stuff going on at work. Her problem is it makes her feel bad. Talking to you about it makes her feel better. Problem solved . . . and by you. :)

  • Ted D

    Stingray – well hell, you’re right! Doesn’t give me that sense of fixing something, but I never thought of it from your perspective. Thanks for the insight!

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    THE MALAISE OF THE LATE ’60s

    The above discussions have reminded me of a topic I have been meaning to discuss with the readership. Very few of you were alive in the time I am discussing, but you are living with its effects. When you hear “the 60s” you probably picture hippies, Woodstock ,the Tet offensive, cities burning, Martin Luther King, Bobby’s death, and so on. But I want to describe to you something more profound, and explain (in a limited way) how it set the stage for the 2000’s.

    I am not a social sceintist, nor even a keen observer. So bear with me; there is no data on this. My parent’s generaton went from the despair of the Depression, the massive engagement of WWII, the somnolence of the 50s, to the so-called upheaval of the 60s. Only the latter didn’t happen. They hung on through the 60s as their kids smoked dope, the war in Viet Nam went on, hey there were even some wrenches in the economy. But in the late 60s the zeitgeist got a visitor: like the apparition in “The Mask of the Red Death”, the WWII generation suddenly got a tap on the shoulder from the bony fingered one who whispered “this ain’t workin'”.

    They didn’t accept it. They voted for Nixon, talked “Law and Order”, and drowned it out that voice right into the middle of the 70s. But it did not go away. Oh they had the American Dream, better than I did, and I had some of it too. But in the mid 70s things start falling apart. Marriages, church attendance, heck bowling leagues-it all starts unravelling then. And I don’t mean you can go to the record books and see this, because I am talking about a collective mood of an era, not an empirical fact.

    So guess what the Boomers did? Well, I’ll use two movies. In “The Graduate”, audiences cheered when Ben and Elaine leave the church, materialism, all that crap behind. Go watch the movie again. Watch the ending. Keep watching. Once the settle in the back of the bus, the camera keeps rolling. And you see it dawn on them, gradually, that while they’ve rejected something, what are you going to replace it with? HMM?? What??
    Well, to a lot of the boomers, Ben’s folks lived pretty well, pretty damned well indeed. (The author of “The Graduate”, having rejected the establishment in real life, was found destitute living in his van and unable to afford medical care; I think he got bailed out by rich ex-hippies; he and his wife, “Fred”, do shit jobs ). So on to 1982’s “The Big Chill”, and you have the boomers answer. SELL OUT. WORK FOR THE MAN. MONEY. MATERIALISM. GREED WINS, AS ALWAYS. Call me cynical; you can also call me a boomer.

    What’s this got to do with me you ask? Plenty. Because the boomers never picked up on the malaise of ther parents let alone seriously examined it, they went about trying to recreate the “idyllic” conditions they thought they were raised in. Only this wasn’t post WWII; we didn’t have the only intact economy turning out hundreds of planes tanks trucks ships per week now converted to cars refigerators stoves ; we didn’t have oil out the ass; we didn’t have huge consumer demand built up over nearly 2 decades (Depression & lead up to and participation in WWII); we didn’t have an exploding consumer base ( i e boomers being born).

    But the boomers pretended that we did. We created a facade, with debt. We didn’t buy whole life policies or save its equivalent ; save 10-20% of our income: have war chests for “rainy days”; buy cars with cash-all things the WWII generation did. They lived in small homes. Unpretentious. Taking the kids to the first McDonald’s was a Saturday night treat. Not for us that-we wanted it all, now, right where you can see it, every nickel on the line and then some.

    This debt problem we are all in started then; we (boomers) ate the seed corn. I do not intend to go all Marxist on you, but economics is the foundation of romance my children. Oh yes. You simply cannot ignore it.And all this talk of alpha, beta, game, hyper-gamy et al is played against a backwater of the lethal economics we created. You kids can’t get traction, most of you (I don’t mean to demean when I say kids; I mean it affectionately). No I don’t mean a quid pro quo dollar for dollar measurement deal, but I mean a sense, the zeitgeist, of everything in flux now, the roulette wheel spins but no bets are placed, “the center cannot hold, things fall apart” (Yeats). It’s affecting most of you; it’s like an invisible ink message written between the lines so many of you post here.

    These times won’t last. Things will get better and, if history is any guide, when they do it will be stunning. I’m suggesting things might have gone a hell of a lot easier if we’d really tried to understand our parents better, really got to know what they went through those transitional years I mentioned, instead of first dismissing everything they stood for becuase they were not part of the “Pepsi” generation then, when things got scary, as you kids say “extra real”, shamelessly embracing the most vulgar part of their aspiratonal goals.

    I have every confidence in you and I say that with all my heart. The trend line is always upward, and you are in the vanguard. It will never be a perfect world but I know as I breathe you will make it a better one.

    Uncle Tom told ya’.

  • someINTP

    If you take personality typology seriously, then you must believe that everyone exists in their own microcosm of the relationship problems, that advice must target your problem like a rare form of cancer.

    I think that would be taking it too far. I’ve been revisiting the MBTI ever since it appeared as a footnote in an engineering humanities textbook. I pay less attention to the MBTI as I mature. Intellectual compatibility matters less to me. Personality is specialization. I should not expect so much expertise in one person and reserve the other tasks to friends and family. As an INTP, I only require someone who can tolerate my long periods of retreat from the world.

    I do like the idea that personality compatibility should vary according to gender. Society does create expectations on gender roles, which affects our level of satisfaction. In relationships, you should perform your specific role better than you partner (even if you do it poorly). With the MBTI, these roles can be broken down into archetypes and then functions. This can aid in your search for a partner that balances your personality. There must be some sort of interdependence to hold the relationship together and the MBTI is just a form of accounting.

    However, a successful relationship isn’t solely held together by the mere force of two personalities. Culture, society, and family play an important role. So the calculation must sensitive to context, so I would be careful with lists. I’ve played around with a few personalities. I do intellectualize with INFJ women the most. ESFJ are also drawn to my personality, being complete opposites, but this is a dangerous attraction. However, there are other obstacles to relationships and I don’t equate attraction with long term compatibility. So the MBTI should encourage people to take a harder look at personalities they are not immediately attracted to–if they interested in rewarding long term relationships.

    It is my personal-ity bias, however, to acquire knowledge and to establish a strong rational base before setting out on any new tasks. This is why I am here. I’ve sensed that some people prefer being reckless and uninformed — and that is their rightful personality. It is the other personality types that try to make them sorry for themselves.

  • http://4stargazer.wordpress.com/ Anacaona

    I think it’s more personality type than being a man or a woman. I’m a woman. I’m very good at empathy, but also tend toward “see a problem, solve a problem.” To me, it’s that T/F split in action. It’s actually been very nice to have both.,/i>

    Mea culpa. I’m a problem solver and even I need to stop myself from offering endless solution when the hubby just wants a sympathetic ear or you know solve it himself. I had gotten better at this but it is hard habit to let go.

    @Munson
    *standing ovation* thank you for your kind words and wisdom. :)

  • http://www.marriedmansexlife.com Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life

    LOL Big Foot.

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Ana

    Hugs………..

  • Jackie

    @Uncle Tom (#121)

    Hi Uncle Tom,

    *applauds, standing ovation*

    I am saving all your writing to my Google Docs “Wisdom File”– I feel you are our own Castaneda of HUS. So wise and profound, while speaking in a way that all can understand.

    Hope you are feeling alright, and the chemo is going OK. If you ever feel like adopting internet nieces and nephews, I bet you’ve got about a million of us at HUS waiting to apply. ;)

    Stay strong, Uncle T–

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Jackie

    You have made my day.

  • Jackie

    @Uncle Tom (#127)
    :D

  • Chioma

    I’m ENFJ, good to know.

  • Just1X

    @MrMunson

    “You think only of yourself and your needs; only a man thinks that way. You’ll never be a woman.”

    The great thing about this line is that the feminists will lap it up and the MRAs will either explode, or die laughing – everyone gets something out of it

  • http://facebook tvmunson

    @ Jackie
    You should go over to theprivateman.com, click on the upper right hand corner where it says “Living Like Tom”, scroll down to my book “The Summer I was Jesus Christ” which details my experiences with Castaneda, drugs, sorcery and madness. There are many installments; I’m just now writing about jail.

  • playtrip

    Two tests, same result. ISTP
    I’m here to represent!

  • someINTP

    @Susan

    I wouldn’t consider ISTJs to be profound thinkers. Big ideas don’t usually come from ISTJs as their primary function is Introverted Sensing — depth of detail as opposed to breadth of ideas. They are sometimes known as the Inspectors. They are rather conservative unlike the Visionaries (ENTP). The have good memories and a strong sense of personal identity, which can make them seem obstinate and inflexible. But they do love to tell their personal stories. Given what we know about how memory is recalled, each retelling adds an embellishment. So a constant retelling makes for really good stories.

    I have relatives and friends who are ISTJs. This is the most common type among men. I’ve only met one ISTJ woman. They really are the duty full fillers–though sometimes their sense of obligation can be selfish or twisted. They do seem to struggle with intellectual conversations and can resort to Philistinism out of desperation.

    One of my best friends is an ISTJ, they are great for down to earth conversations. One Sunday, I was listening to classical music as I helped him shop for a new car — going over each detail like engineers. My friend started crying uncontrollably which startled me knowing that this was quite unlike his personality. I asked him if he was incredibly moved by classical music. It wasn’t the music that brought on the upwelling of emotions, but the memory of his father who use to listen to this music every Sunday afternoon. I sometimes have this reaction to music. It is not an emotion steeped in memory, but in an unearthly sense of beauty. Schopenhauer thought that classical music was above other art forms in that it did not exist as a mere copy, but the actual manifestation of Will… It’s incredible that people should be this different.

  • Jackie

    @Counselor Munson (#131)

    Hi Uncle Tom,
    Thanks! That page has been permanently bookmarked. :) You are a brilliant writer. Can’t wait to read the next chapter!

  • http://mostlatestvegetable.blogspot.com/ Loris

    INTJ here, though when I was younger, I had the dreaminess of a P. I’m married to an ESTP. I know. We shouldn’t be remotely compatible, but we get along splendidly in person. I attribute this to marrying very young when we were still malleable. He stirs me up and I calm him down. When we argue, it’s usually because he disagrees with the way I arrived at a conclusion. We never disagree on the conclusion itself!

    I really like the separation of INTJs into “maverick” and “recluse” that somebody proposed earlier. That seems to fit better than anything else. My father is also probably an INTJ and he’s always been a hermit-type. I’m definitely a maverick. As a child, I never particularly DID anything wrong, but was constantly being punished for “attitude.” I realize now that child-me meant no disrespect, but was instead trying to figure out how the family dynamic worked. My parents also probably brought that on themselves. They were much older than my peers’ parents and always treated me like a mini-adult. It’s incredibly frustrating to a bright kid who is used to conversing with adults as an equal to suddenly have no say in decision-making processes!

    I have no idea what my mother’s type is. She is not overtly emotional but is very touchy and sensitive. Smart. A natural administrator – incredibly competent. A perfectionist workaholic. Growing up, my mom always used Winnie the Pooh characters to “type” people, so I’ll fall back on it here: Mom is Rabbit, and Dad is Eeyore. Can anyone guess at what a Rabbit type might be?

    I feel like I’m in good company here. Does anybody else regularly freak people out by making observations on things you shouldn’t possibly know about them? I’m an unrepentant people-watcher. I get to know my peers by observing them; not necessarily by talking to them. Meeting a person I can’t “read” really unsettles me. On the other hand, I give excellent, very personal gifts that are always *exactly* what the recipient both wanted and needed. :)

    Like many other posters, I’ve been accused of being elitist, a know-it-all, presumptuous, ruthless and mercenary. I have a few people that *I* feel close to. I have no idea how they feel about me. /rueful smile. I will probably never be asked to be a bridesmaid.

    Right now, I’m working on clipping my wings at work. There’s a constant tension between recognizing that I am the junior member of the team and being certain that I can nip at the heels of people who have 10 years more experience with just a little tutelage.

  • also intj

    Loris, yes on being able to make observations that people are surprised I’ve picked up on and find ring very true to them. I wish I shared your gift giving skill, though. I generally prefer experiences over things and have a terrible time shopping.

  • http://mostlatestvegetable.blogspot.com/ Loris

    Also intj,

    The gift giving skill is probably because Gifts is a love language of mine. I know I feel loved when somebody gives me a very thoughtful gift; it means they really know me. I tend to (erroneously) assume that everyone else is the same way and try very hard to tailor my gifts to the person.

    I would also rather have experiences than material objects, but that’s because I can’t stand clutter in my home. Believe me, I consider concert tickets a great gift! A gift like that gives twice. First in the anticipation of the event, and second in actually experiencing it. Win/win!

  • also intj

    I’d thought of the love languages connnections too. Gifts is dead last in mine, whereas quality time is one of my top ones so that’s where valuing experiences together comes in. Getting a thoughtful gift that’s just right for you is wonderful. I’m sure your recipients really appreciate it, and admire your ability.

  • Justin

    I really wish this blog would lay off the MBTI. It’s quackery and I take everything on here less seriously than if it were not mentioned ever.

  • http://mostlatestvegetable.com Loris

    Justin,
    It’s a useful tool, nothing more. You still have to get to know people as an individual. But for people like me who are slow to pick up on the feelings and motivations of others, it’s a shortcut to a better social life. I figured out my mother’s type yesterday. Rabbit is an ESFJ. Reading the description helped me realize why I so frequently hurt her feelings by accident. Now that I know, maybe I can avoid some offense.

    My husband feels the same way you do about the MBTI, and psychology in general. He doesn’t believe in anything but God and money, and would kind of like God to show some ID once in a while. Does this describe you? It isn’t a problem; just evidence that you’re a concrete thinker.

  • http://areallthegoodnamesgone.blogspot.com Ted D

    Justin – “I really wish this blog would lay off the MBTI. It’s quackery and I take everything on here less seriously than if it were not mentioned ever.”

    OK. What’s your sign? :P

  • this is Jen

    INTJ too!

  • Aubergine

    I attended a Big 4 training seminar when I was an associate and they made us take this test (why, I don’t know). There were about 60 to 80 of us, and everyone but 2 were either ESTJ or ISTJ. It made me aware, for the first time, that maybe I was in the wrong field.

  • also intj

    How interesting, Aubergine. Is Big 4 accounting?

  • http://www.jeffreybrauer.blogspot.com/ Jeffrey of Troy

    Hi Aunt Susie!

    The MBTI is famously only about 80% accurate; David Keirsey significantly improved it by cross-referencing with temperament theory (as mentioned by another ^ commenter). I recommend his book Please Understand Me II (an expansion of the original, not a sequel, so no point in reading the first version).

    His website: http://keirsey.com/4temps/overview_temperaments.asp

    I explained it using the Fantastic 4: http://www.jeffreybrauer.blogspot.com/2007/07/fantastic-4.html

    An update since I wrote that: I now strongly prefer (no pun intended) to think of T as “Tough-minded” rather than “Thinking”, and F as “Friendly” rather than “Feeling”.

    If you click on the link at the bottom, you will see why Hannibal Lecter is NOT an NT.

  • http://www.jeffreybrauer.blogspot.com/ Jeffrey of Troy

    re: Game.

    The PUA’s who run weekend workshops will typically try to get the new recruits to make 100 approaches, to develop a thick skin. For Introverts, this is terrible advice, and will actually inhibit progress.

    As another commenter ^ mentioned, these 4 letters do NOT change, just like you don’t switch genders or race (within a lifetime). It takes a lot of energy trying to be someone you’re not; that’s energy YOU need for YOUR life.

  • Sassy6519

    So, the guy I’ve been recently seeing is an INFP. He took the test a couple weeks ago, after I mentioned the Myer-Briggs personality index to him.

    Either I am crazy, or thoroughly intrigued, but I never imagined actually liking an introverted guy.

    What’s an even bigger shock is that he is a (F)eeler instead of a (T)hinker. Also, if memory serves me correctly, Jesus Mahoney shares the same personality type.

    If that’s the case, does that mean that he and I will be at each other’s throats in due time? :P

  • Anacaona

    If that’s the case, does that mean that he and I will be at each other’s throats in due time?

    Heh maybe he is into that too, so that would make it a good thing ;)

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