Heartiste has a brilliant new post, When Beta Male Strategies Can Work. While I’ve long expressed an admiration for Roissy’s brilliance, powers of perception, and wordsmithing, this is the first time our missions have crossed paths.
Beta male sexual market strategies are not always doomed to failure. They can work under certain conditions. The two primary scenarios in which the beta male strategy is workable (if not necessarily optimal) are:
1. As a “softening agent” to improve your attainability, or your “long term lover” potential, if your alpha male traits have pushed a woman too far into feeling unloved and unneeded.
2. As a self-advertisement for long term relationship suitability, given preexisting sufficiently compensatory alpha male traits.
Obviously, this advice will apply to men who are seeking more than a ONS – it’s geared to the man who enjoys the idea of falling in love or at least of introducing some emotion into the mix.
Number one is a game corrective. Number two is a specific game strategy designed to screen out girls who would make bad long term relationship prospects, and attract women who are looking to settle down.
Female college students are very familiar with players running “false beta game.” These guys know they often need to act boyfriendy with the freshmen to get laid, so they say things like, “Whoa, dude, what’s happening between us right now is really a game changer.” Or, “I really like being around you, it’s like I don’t have to be a bro and shit.” Meanwhile, unaware betas (Roissy might say hapless) walk around with no clue that the most dominant guys on campus are instinctively using Strategy #1.
For my purposes, Strategy #2 is more applicable. Here Roissy is advocating a mix of alpha and beta traits for LTRs:
Note that the common denominator in all successful beta male mating strategies is the assumption of some degree of preexisting alpha male characteristics, or an already present alpha male dynamic within a relationship. Beta male strategies, in other words, are meant as adjuncts to alpha male, or high value male, game.
The order is important – a male must bring the dominance or alpha first, as it is the primary hurdle for female sexual attraction. The jerk acting like he wants to be your boyfriend (Only you can tame this beast into monogamy!) is going to fare much better with girls than the nice guy who clumsily delivers negs at the bar (“Are you sure you should be wearing horizontal stripes?”).
The reverse — adjunct alpha male strategies to complement low value beta male game — is hardly ever an effective strategy for attracting and bedding the women you want. But it can be a decent way of life for beta providers who wish to spice up their marriages as a preventative against wifely infidelity or bitchiness.
Nice nod to Athol there.
In very unusual circumstances, an extreme form of beta male game — the loathsome male feminist orbiter — can occasionally redound in rare, ungainly and passionless sexual favors from the manipulative, flabby wymyn to whom this execrable species (hello hugo!) ingratiates himself.
(This last quote is provided solely as an example of Heartiste’s writing style, which never fails to strike its target.)
He goes on to give some examples of beta moves winning girlfriends back, and while I think the moves are generally more beta than he does (and that many women like beta traits more than he admits), he astutely points out why they work, including creativity, humor, and balls. Definitely worth a read.
The most dramatic move anyone ever made to get me back after a big fight was to break into my apartment while I was sleeping, deliver a love letter, and sneak back out without my knowing. We did get back together, so maybe it was the thug move that compensated for the abject apology.