That Barista Thinks You’re Cute

February 11, 2013

baederThe classic American diners are disappearing, and the lingo is long gone. Adam and Eve On a Raft (two poached eggs on toast), All the Way (a hot dog with the works), Run It Through the Garden (add lettuce and tomato) and Eve With a Lid (apple pie) are all a quaint memory. 

So I was utterly charmed yesterday when I read Ben Schott’s Java Jive, a guide to the vocabulary of baristas at independent coffee shops across the country. 

My favorites by far were the terms used by baristas to alert one another to the appearance of an attractive customer. It seems corny and earnest and cute. It’s a pleasure to see something about attraction that isn’t hardened and cynical. 


An alert to coworkers of a pretty customer, evoking a perking up similar to prairie dogs’.

 Check the honey

“Can you check the honey?” 

Indicates an attractive customer in the line.

Fresh Pot

“We’ve got a fresh pot…”

A customer who flirts with the baristas.

Need cups?

A spurious question baristas ask one another to indicate a cute customer.

It’s nice weather for ducks

That customer is hot!

Nice shoes

That customer is hot!

I really want a chocolate croissant

Said when a barista’s “crushtomer” is nearby.


And because baristas have to watch geezer dudes hitting on those women in line:


An older man creeping out a young woman.


Next time you approach the counter at your favorite coffee place and the barista shouts some non-sequitur, take it as a compliment. Make his day and flirt a little. :)


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