Entitled Angry Men Angrily Objectify Women

The sexual objectification of women by random men is nothing new – cat calls and wolf whistles were common when I was a girl. But the tone has changed dramatically – no longer meant to communicate appreciation, men increasingly feel entitled to criticize, explicitly demand sex, and generally treat female strangers with hostility and disrespect.

When my daughter was a teenager, I felt like I needed to serve as her bodyguard when we were out together. On many occasions, men would initiate inappropriate communication before realizing that Mama Bear was right behind her. At the very least I would give them a raised eyebrow and they would slither away, but on a few occasions I had to call them out for acting like pigs. I often worried for her safety when she was out at night with friends.

Now women are taking action to fight back, in effective and sometimes amusing ways. Artist Anna Gensler was horrified by the offensive texts she received from men on Tindr, so she decided to respond in the puerile style they prefer.

 “Man sends crude line via internet. Draw him naked. Send portrait to lucky man, enjoy results.

…“It was sort of the most basic, juvenile, immature thing I could possibly do, which was completely perfect,” she said. “These guys are immature and their lines are incredibly juvenile, yet they are still offensive to the women they are aimed toward. The same can be said for these doodles.”

She started a hilarious Tumblr site called Insta Grannie Pants where she posts her replies. In the interest of fairness, she warns in advance that men who send rude texts will be drawn naked and posted. That didn’t stop these guys:

 

 

No one will be surprised that several examples feature Red Pill asshats:

The toxic combo of sexual aggression, hostility, resentment and lameness is the unique calling card of a Red Piller. In his Business Insider article Inside Red Pill, the Weird New Cult for Men Who Don’t Understand Women (H/T: Say Whaat), Dylan Love explains:

For Red Pillers, genuine reality goes something like this: Female oppression is a myth and men are the ones holding the short end of the stick. That said, men and women are inherently different due to evolution, so each gender should carry out its designated role in society. For example, females should raise children at home and men should work and have sex with women.

…There seems to be an inherent contradiction at the heart of this community – it’s an overwhelmingly male population advocating unpopular opinions on females, but it is almost entirely focused on attracting and seducing as many of them as possible.

…The prime candidates for this community generally seem to be men who, for whatever reason, have had bad luck with women or have been otherwise wronged by a female.

Love interviewed the Reddit Red Pill forum moderator, who acknowledges the deep hostility among Red Pillers:

…Morpheus explained it to us like this: “[When men] realize their failures [with women] were within their control to avoid, it can induce a bit of anger […] I think that a lot of the men have a misplaced anger towards women. I wouldn’t say it’s hatred […] They want to learn how to be better with women. But there is a temporary anger.

In my experience as a blogger that anger is not really temporary, because it can only be alleviated when the troubled male becomes more successful with women, and that doesn’t happen very often or very quickly. “Instruction” like this on Reddit certainly doesn’t help:

“You are hating women because you have the wrong expectations for them. Don’t hate someone for something they CANNOT be. Women are, by nature, manipulative, attention-seeking, inconsistent, emotional, and hypergamous. Accept this truth. Once you do, you can game women for what they are … not what you want them to be.”

Oh, the irony! Women suck, here’s how to attract them!

The desire to degrade and objectify women with hostility is directly linked to this attitude. It’s just a short leap from this to male entitlement and harassment.

Red Pillers have suggested that women who wear their hair short are mentally damaged. One blogger stated that a woman who is not thin is guilty of disrespecting men. As if he is entitled to live in a world where all the women are beautiful and aiming to please him!

Many of these comments address women generally, but increasingly men feel emboldened to criticize individuals for their personal style choices. Jennifer Lawrence and Lupita Nyong’O have been the target of vicious criticism from misogynist and racist men because they don’t wear their hair long, glossy and straight.

It’s not just celebrities who serve as targets for male hostility. I recently heard of a young woman being approached by a guy as she was getting off the subway. He said to her, “Get some self-respect! Lose weight.” What makes a man feel that he has the right to do this? Would he approach another guy and say the same thing? How does being rude to her make him feel better?

Aside from the indignity and disrespect for a fellow human being, I’m most disturbed by the futility of the strategy. From a behavioral economics standpoint, none of these tactics are effective in producing change or getting men what they want. It doesn’t really make sense.

The mating marketplace allows for innumerable personal preferences. Every man and woman has a vote – if we don’t find someone attractive, we are  not obligated to date them. If a guy hates short hair, he can simply and easily avoid dating women with short hair. The man who is hostile and rude certainly doesn’t increase his appeal to women. He’s caught in the vicious cycle of anger that never dissipates.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t really care what some anonymous punk thinks of her haircut. Nor will the accosted woman on the subway platform go home and make herself a low calorie meal because some guy insulted her.

This uncivilized behavior harms men more than women, because it makes them unattractive. Which was pretty much what started the whole thing.

Have you been targeted by this kind of behavior from men? How does it make you feel? How do you respond? Do you see it getting worse?