Posts by Susan Walsh:
How Guys Really Feel About the Girls They Hook Up With
It’s been expressed by numerous women here, most recently by Sara, the writer of the letter in yesterday’s post, that sitting out the casual sex scene in college means getting very little male attention. She said:
Guys I feel no attraction to creepily hitting on me constantly simply trying to sleep with me that night, I don’t think I will meet a truly nice guy at a bar or a party…At this point, I think I will be waiting until after graduation to really meet the guys I even want to date at all. I am fine with it, but it is hard to choose that road when all of your friends are dating and crushing on boys, and it does get lonely. I know that choosing this road I will be stronger in the long run, but I often-times feel left out of the whole thing.
Sara is not alone; her feelings are typical of many young women in college who want a relationship, not a random hookup. It’s not surprising that many frustrated young women wind up dropping panties while drunk, hoping for the best, just to be included, part of the scene, having a normal college experience.
What many women fail to realize is that being “chosen” by a guy for the purpose of hooking up says little about her worth, or her attractiveness relative to her peers, even in his eyes. Men’s standards for hooking up are extremely low, as they will readily admit.
Consider the following question I came across on a guy’s poker forum two days ago. The writer is apparently a college hockey player. It’s not pretty, but it’s an interesting peek behind closed doors.
Here’s how guys really feel about the girls they hook up with:
From: BigEarn
HOW BAD IS THIS, HOOKUP WISE?
So I have always prided myself on having standards. I haven’t had a gf in years but I like to think that I consistently hook up with 7s or so on a pretty regular basis.
Anyways, lately I have been hooking up with this girl whose probably like a 5.5-6 but we only hookup when I am completely hammered and if nothing else pans out for me during the night. Is this ok? Should I stop this? I wouldn’t want people to see me out with this girl, shes tall,skinny, decent body but her face is kind of a disaster. She has summer-teeth… Some go this way, some go that way. (Pauly D – Jersey Shore reference). Her performance in bed is definitely solid but I think I need to just delete her number.
I’m looking for some thoughts on the situation here.
Ouch. The responses:
1. do we even have to say?
2. seriously wtf is your problem. pics or stfu/gtfo etc
3.
4. standards are for high schoolers
5. Beauty is a lightswitch away
6. If you arent trying to marry the girl and she knows that then who gives a fuck?
7. Plan B:
8. ewwww a 5.5-6?? if she was 6-6.5 I’d say mayyyyybe, but anything below a 6.75-8.2384 I say gtfo you ugly whorebitch.
9. keep on banging, justify it as << giving back to humanity>>
10. If you both understand this is drunken weekend happy time and you’re not involved….And you think it’s better than rubbing one out….And she thinks it’s better than rubbing one out….Then who fucking cares?
11. If she’s a 5 then I bet 90% of us would hit it
BigEarn responds:
Eh, I clearly said this one wasn’t hot and I bang 7s or so, not claiming to be tagging supermodels here. I make these posts because i’m sure most of you have been in similar situations and I like to hear what others have to say. I guess I just enjoy giving advice/responding to posts like this because quite frankly I find women and dealing with them very interesting.
I’m not insecure but I do get some self-satisfaction out of trying to work new girls, but then again who doesn’t? As I’ve posted in the past (years ago) my one real relationship was a complete disaster and I ended up heartbroken and after that hurt finally went away I guess i’m just a lot wiser and somewhat jaded when it comes to females.
If you didn’t already know, now you do. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
Swearing Off Players, Once and For All
Dear Susan, I’m a nineteen year-old college sophomore, and at school I have found myself to only be attracted to alphas. Just so you know, I’m very independent and driven, both in school and work. I don’t drink much because I like to be in control of my own behavior. In other words, I’m a [...]
Does Hooking Up Lead to Relationships?
There’s a new study out that takes a look at relationship quality in a variety of different scenarios. Here’s how the press has responded: I. Tracy Clark-Flory, Salon: Surprise! Hookups Can Lead to Love That one-night stand might turn into a perfectly happy relationship, a new study warns II. Kay Steiger, Feministe: Another Defense of [...]
Personal Grooming Below the Equator
To all my readers who couldn’t care less about the politics of sex and relationships, this one’s for you. Pubic hair (def.): A patch of hair that causes nothing but trouble. Urban Dictionary Recently Kim Kardashian shared this grooming secret with Allure magazine: I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair [...]
The Cracking Foundation of Sex Positive Feminism
Do we think the ladies have gone too far with the sex positive feminism? I mean I know they’re all down with the pornography and the shaved pudenda and what not, but do we really think this is the path to liberation? Hank Moody I’ve been claiming that the walls of Sex Positive Feminism are [...]
Why Are Jaclyn Friedman and Amanda Marcotte Terrified of Hooking Up Smart?
Just when I thought it was safe to go back to my regular gig writing this cozy little blog, documentary filmmaker Denice Ann Evans tipped me off to more Slutty Shenanigans by Amanda Marcotte and Jaclyn Friedman. I’m disappointed, because today I had a fun post about everyone’s favorite topic – grooming “down there.” That [...]
Biology Drives Gender
“Except for their genitals, I don’t know what immutable differences exist between men and women. Perhaps there are some other unchangeable differences; probably there are a number of irrelevant differences. But it is clear that until social expectations for men and women are equal, until we provide equal respect for both sexes, answers to this [...]
A Nail in the Coffin Of Sex Pos Ed
An interesting new study looking at sex among teens was presented at yesterday’s meeting of the American Sociological Association. Bill McCarthy of UC Davis and Eric Grodsky of University of Minnesota conducted the study, which looked at the largest teen survey ever undertaken, beginning in 1994. Contrary to the beliefs of those who believe in [...]
The Future of Self-Pleasure May Be Further Away Than You Think
Big Think recently interviewed Rachel Maines on the future of self-pleasure: “Rachel Maines is a visiting scientist in the Cornell University School of Electrical and Computer Engineering. Her principal research interests lie in the history of technology, especially issues relating to technology and the body, such as sexuality, medicine, technological risk, and injury epidemiology. She [...]
The Essential Truth About Female Promiscuity
I had a laptop disaster over the weekend (Mac says the crash was caused by old liquid damage, ouch. No more wine while writing.) Anyway, I got a brand new computer today, and am up and running once again. It’s good to be back and I learned something important during this period: I’m not indispensable! [...]
