Posts by Susan Walsh:
Passion and Frustration
I need to do some housekeeping here quickly about the comment threads. (Gotcha! If I had titled this post Comment Policy, no one would have read it!) There’s been some passion and frustration in the comment threads recently, and I’d like to address it.
First, let me say that I am really thrilled with the level of conversation, and how many of you are participating. I am learning a ton by reading the discussions and asking questions of the commenters. It’s been a great mix of men and women, from college age through middle age, and generally a lively, intelligent group. I sincerely appreciate the time and energy that you invest when you leave a thoughtful comment. Debate is great, and I don’t want HUS to be an echo chamber – that’s boring.
For those of you (> 90%) who read Hooking Up Smart, but don’t comment, I urge you to do so when you feel inclined. If you generally don’t read the comment threads, that’s a good place to start. I always find with a new blog that it’s helpful to listen and watch for a while. Just click on the post-it note to the right of a post title to get to the Comments section.
I am aware that there are readers who are frustrated with their lives, frustrated with the dating scene in general, frustrated with me, and with each other. That is understandable, but it is very important to me that civility be maintained at all times. There is never a reason to call someone names or impugn their character. Communicating online makes it very easy to abandon the normal rules of polite conversation, but my rule of thumb is “Don’t say anything here that you wouldn’t say to my face if I invited you to my home.” That’s how I feel about Hooking Up Smart. It’s my home in a way, and I won’t tolerate misogyny, misandry or any other unproductive, insulting remarks here. I have never put comments into moderation, and I don’t want to start now. However, I will start deleting comments that I don’t believe meet a standard of decency.
Finally, I know that several readers have been having trouble with the DISQUS comment system. For the past two days, one of my best and brightest commenters has been unable to comment at all. Obviously, this is unacceptable, so I’ve changed to a new system. It will take several hours for comments to look normal, and any new ones will be held up briefly while the new system installs. I apologize for the inconvenience, and I hope that the new system will work better. Feel free to shoot me an email through the Contact page with any questions or feedback.
And now I’ll get back to regularly scheduled programming.
Scheherazade Goes to College
In the year or so that I’ve been blogging, I’ve heard a lot of stories. Many of the them have recurring themes. Even Shakespeare stole his stories from the Greeks; there just aren’t that many different variations on human behavior. A few weeks ago, though, I got an email from a reader that astounded me. [...]
Contraception Surprises
Amanda Hess writes The Sexist, a column about local sex and gender issues, for Washington D.C.’s alt-weekly, the Washington City Paper. She’s a feisty feminist, and I’m still suffering from that feminism hangover, so I won’t be getting into any intense debates with her. She’s got a good sense of humor, though.
She had a recent [...]
My Exotic Destination Theory of Relationships
Things have been a little heavy around here lately. I’ve been writing quite a bit about the reality of today’s sexual marketplace, which is important. But I’ve overindulged on the feminism angle and I’m feeling a bit hungover. So today it’s back to basics, with a letter I received last week.
Dear Susan,
I’ve gotten myself into [...]
A Flurry of Flustered Feminists, Finally
I am a post-baby boomer who has been handed a sort of Spice Girls’ version of feminism. We’re supposed to be wearing half-shirts and jumping around. And, you know, maybe that’s not panning out.
Tina Fey, Vogue, March 2010
Recently I wrote about feminist Rachel Simmons’ criticism of hookup culture, and how it produced a flurry [...]
Come Chat With Me On the Radio
This Sunday evening I’ll be doing an hour-long segment on Neely Steinberg’s weekly online radio show. Neely is a freelance writer living in Boston. I first became a fan of hers when she wrote some pieces about dating for the Boston Globe Sunday magazine. She’s also written for many other publications, including New York Magazine [...]
Andy Pemberton Cannot Abide Lady Gaga’s Celibacy
Andy Pemberton, a music industry gossip columnist, has his boxer briefs in a twist in a piece at Huffington Post. He claims that Lady Gaga is telling her fans to be celibate, essentially shoving a pro-abstinence agenda down their throats. He questions how a woman who performs without pants could warn against the dangers of casual sex.
From [...]
How Feminism Got Drunk and Hooked Up With a Loser
Rachel Simmons set the under-40 femosphere back on its heels last week with a column on her blog:
Is Hooking Up Good For Girls? (click here)
Ms. Simmons is an interesting hybrid – she is the advice columnist for Teen Vogue, but she is also a scholar (Rhodes) on the subject of female aggression and has strong [...]
Readers Find the Best Links!
I. Woman Gets Busted for Cheating On the Radio
Thanks to Natalie (again!) for sending along something interesting and entertaining. This is a couple of weeks old, and you may have heard it. It’s hilarious and well worth a listen when you’ve got 12 minutes:
Do you feel sorry for Ashley? I don’t. Ashley had it coming. [...]
Talking About Sex Instead of Having It?
I don’t know whether talking a lot about sex leads to actually doing it, but I’ve got to think there’s some correlation. Yale students have really got sex on the considerable brain these days. I’ve been seeing a lot of interesting pieces at the Yale Daily News, mostly inspired no doubt by the biennial Sex [...]
