Personal Development

White Lies and Well Being

April 22, 2015
White Lies and Well Being

I’ve always been a stickler for honesty in relationships. I believe we should be up front about the terms of any relationship: what we’re looking for, what we’re willing to give, what we expect to receive. I abhor the “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach to faking exclusivity. I loathe deceptive, manipulative tactics like “push-pull” or […]

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When Persistence is Perturbing

April 9, 2015
When Persistence is Perturbing

Hi Susan, A topic that has proved confusing for me is pursuit and persistence in dating. There’s so much conflicting information out there.  Basically, as a guy, I feel that it is my duty to do the approaching. As much as I’d like women to be more forward in their interest, I just don’t really see it […]

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The #1 Secret to Great Sex

March 11, 2015
The #1 Secret to Great Sex

“The art of sensuality has largely been lost and replaced by its vulgar distant cousin twice removed- sexuality.” Theodora Conrad Sex sells. As a result, we’re constantly bombarded with explicit media. Yet we’re having less sex in relationships, and fewer orgasms with our partners. Men impatiently fast-forward to the money shot through even the most hard-core […]

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Flaunt Your Imperfections to Get More Dates

March 5, 2015
Flaunt Your Imperfections to Get More Dates

OKCupid founder Christian Rudder’s recent book Dataclysm includes a chapter entitled Death By a Thousand Mehs. Rudder reveals that the most messaged women on the site have high “variance.” That means they have lots of enthusiastic fans, but also lots of haters: “A very low-rated women (20th percentile) with high variance in her votes gets […]

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Keep Risking Rejection

February 25, 2015
Keep Risking Rejection

Rejection hurts. There’s no way around it. Yet like all negative or threatening emotions, it serves a purpose. Rejection furthers many social goals, which explains its prevalence in human behavior and groups. For example, punishing deviance creates a moral code for the community. Rejection is also an unavoidable by-product of a woman’s right to carefully […]

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