Emotional Intelligence predicts success in life. It’s vitally important in both love and work. If you filter men for only one thing, it should be Emotional Intelligence. Nothing else even comes close. It’s an essential ingredient for a successful and fulfilling marriage.
In The Evolution of Desire, David Buss describes the importance women attach to love and commitment when seeking a mate:
“Given the tremendous costs women incur because of sex, pregnancy and childbirth, it is reasonable for them to require commitment from a man in return. Resources can be directly observed, but commitment cannot be. Gauging it requires looking for cues that signal the likelihood of fidelity in channeling resources. Love is one of the most important cues to commitment.
Because sex is one of the most valuable reproductive resources women can offer, they have evolved psychological mechanisms that cause them to resist giving it away indiscriminately. Requiring love, sincerity and kindness is a way of securing a commitment of resources commensurate with the value of the resource that women give up to men.”
Clearly, it is not wise or efficient for women to spend time in a relationship with any man who does not readily demonstrate love and affection. On the other hand, during early days it can be difficult to judge a man’s degree of interest in commitment generally or in you specifically, as well as his general emotional intelligence. Yet each of these is critically important to women as a means of filtering potential partners.