Relationship Benchmark #6: Strong Positive Reinforcement and Emotional Support

August 16, 2016
Relationship Benchmark #6: Strong Positive Reinforcement and Emotional Support

Many of the benchmarks of successful relationships have to do with making one another feel secure in affection and commitment. Creating a foundation of trust and security will see you through inevitable challenges in the future. It requires considerable effort, time and energy from both of you. Two particular kinds of efforts are crucial: Positive Reinforcement Emotional Support […]

Continue Reading »

Relationship Benchmark #5: No Subject Feels Too Scary to Discuss

August 12, 2016
Relationship Benchmark #5: No Subject Feels Too Scary to Discuss

Healthy relationships are characterized by openness, honesty and transparency. That’s because uncertainty – especially about matters of the heart – creates anxiety. Anxiety produces self-doubt, which is death to self-expression. Before long, you’re a prisoner of your own emotions, and you learn to fear them. The fear produces more anxiety, and the cycle continues. The best […]

Continue Reading »

The Unsexy Millennials

August 10, 2016
The Unsexy Millennials

A new study on Sexual Inactivity During Young Adulthood by Jean Twenge et al builds on previous research showing that Millennials are less sexually active than prior generations. The latest response has been somewhat hysterical, with many articles assuming that delayed sexual activity is a bad thing. It’s also been erroneously focusing almost entirely on (elite) […]

Continue Reading »

Relationship Benchmark #4: There is Consistent Expression of Affection and Feeling

August 5, 2016
Relationship Benchmark #4: There is Consistent Expression of Affection and Feeling

One of the best things about being in a relationship is the reward of love flowing both ways. We require that our partner express affection and deep feelings consistently. We feel free to express our love and are open to receiving it in return. In contrast, a relationship where we never quite know where we stand, or how our […]

Continue Reading »

Relationship Benchmark #3: There Is a Strong Mutual Physical Attraction

July 21, 2016
Relationship Benchmark #3: There Is a Strong Mutual Physical Attraction

A note from Susan: I’m moving next week! After nearly 20 years, we’re leaving our big, old Victorian for a new adventure. It’s too big, it’s too old, and I feel like Tom on Downton Abbey. Our kids are well settled in their own lives, so we’re returning to Cambridge, where we started out in the […]

Continue Reading »

Subscribe to the Hooking Up Smart newsletter for exclusive content!

Each week you'll receive an exclusive dating tip, links to best of the web articles and a synopsis of HUS content.

Your Information will never be shared with any third party
Top