The Two Questions You Should Ask Before Sex

Defining the Relationship Talk

Isabel thought she’d found the real thing, then he disappeared after sex. There are two questions that could have reduced the risk of this significantly.

Hi Susan, 

I recently read your article about how to not fall for the player and I have to say it described the same scenario I just went through. This guy was perfect when we were together…every date he was a total gentleman (didn’t even try to kiss me the first date), and I thought everything was going fine.

I mean, he works in Private Equity and works alot so he would cancel sometimes, but he always made up our dates later and apologized for how busy he was. Anyway, we finally hooked up after the sixth date and the next morning was perfect. We cuddled and he even offered to let me stay in and sleep in.

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Oppressed Majority: A Short Film About Sexism

This well done film turns sexism upside down, with amusing results. Plus, it’s French.



DADMENAfter many years of attending backyard barbecues and buying cards for my own dad on Father’s Day, I had my first child, and Father’s Day was suddenly about our own little family.

Over the years, Father’s Day has been a day for my children and husband to celebrate together. Each year, while helping the kids to make it happen, I’ve reflected on the kind of father my husband is. I feel grateful that he is nurturing and involved with our kids. He has given them something I could not – the love, care, and wisdom of a father.

In a culture that promotes physical intimacy before emotional intimacy, the prevailing script is that men want no-strings sex with as many women as they can attract. Is that really what guys want?

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Avoid This Attachment Style in Dating!

poohFor months now J 2.0 and other readers here have been saying great things about the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love I finally grabbed a copy and it was so good I went through it a second time and took notes. This is a book that will literally change the way you date!

Attached explains to the lay reader the science of human attachment. This is a relatively new field. Authors Levine and Heller reject the traditional therapy model that discourages dependency between individuals. Instead, they argue that dependency is natural and unavoidable:

“Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing, and the level of hormones in our blood.

…Dependency is a fact; it is not a choice or preference.”

Attachment style is so important in human relationships that choosing a mate with a compatible style is essential to relationship success.

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Manosphere Blogger Justifies Rape to Give Men More Control

Rollo Tomassi, male supremacist and founder of Rational Male, has suggested that rape and other abusive practices would allow men to control female sexuality, which is their right.

Tomassi provided this commentary when Rabid MRA and divorce-obsessed blogger Dalrock ridiculed a post at The Week by Damon Linker in response to the Eliot Rodger murder spree.

Linker writes:

“The woman you long to sleep with, like the world itself, owes you absolutely nothing.

Let that be seared into the brain of every leering, groping, cat-calling, date-raping, would-be mass-murdering man in America.”

One would imagine that the MRA/PUA community would be eager to deemphasize male sexual entitlement just at the moment, which was front and center in Rodger’s manifesto. Dalrock’s dismissal of Linker’s too real point about aggrieved entitlement is troubling to be sure.

But that’s nothing compared to the truly alarming reply from Tomassi:

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