A Flurry of Flustered Feminists, Finally
I am a post-baby boomer who has been handed a sort of Spice Girls’ version of feminism. We’re supposed to be wearing half-shirts and jumping around. And, you know, maybe that’s not panning out.
Tina Fey, Vogue, March 2010
Recently I wrote about feminist Rachel Simmons’ criticism of hookup culture, and how it produced a flurry [...]
When Should You Agree to Sex? Guys Tell It Straight
In this era of sexual free-for-all, one of the most difficult things to figure out is the proper timing for having sex. For women, there are usually tradeoffs involved in diving between the sheets. Even if we decide to “have sex like a man,” it’s not possible, because the sexual double standard is alive and [...]
The Sex Risk For Women That No One Likes To Talk About
Recently a 29 year-old guy wrote into the Love Letters section of the Boston Globe looking for guidance. Usually Meredith Goldstein, who writes the column, gives excellent advice. In which case there’s no point in my saying anything further. In this case, however, I think she really missed the boat.
Here’s the letter:
About a year ago, [...]
The Power You Gain When You Lay It On the Line
If you want more love
Why don’t you say so?
If you want more love
Why don’t you say so?
Just say so
John Mayer, Heartbreak Warfare
The irony of using John Mayer to give advice about relationships is not lost on me. Here’s the dialog that I imagine ensued when he really said those words to Jennifer Aniston a woman:
Her: [...]
Douchebag Math, or Player Population Control
Baaaahhh, I’ve just spent two days learning how to make a video! I’ve been wanting to do a video post for a while, so here’s my first attempt, made with my iPhone. I’m afraid it’s crudely done, but I think you’ll get the point. I really have only one burning question for you: Do I [...]
Sleeping Around
Many guys think it’s OK have numerous sexual relationships at the same time. Most girls don’t. Recently in the Washington Post, advice columnist Carolyn Hax weighed in on this question:
Anonymous: Hi Carolyn,
I am having sex with three people right now. (Not literally right now, but you get the idea.) Two of them have no idea [...]
To Save Your Relationship, Try Doing Nothing
“Decide what you want and then go get it.”
“You can be anything you want to be.”
“You get what you ask for in this life.”
“You’ll never know unless you try.”
These are some of the principles that have guided my own life. I’m a doer, a go-getter. I’m achievement oriented, though I’ll be the first to confess [...]
Why Do Feminists Find Abstinence Intolerable?
“Instead of fulfilling the promise of infinite orgasmic bliss, sex in the America of the feminine mystique is becoming a strangely joyless national compulsion, if not a contemptuous mockery.”
Betty Friedan
US feminist (1921 – 2006)
Many young women feel guilty and unsuccessful when they are unable to embrace a steady diet of casual sex. Perceiving hooking up [...]
10 Signs That Your Hookup is Falling For You
In a culture that prioritizes sexual intimacy before emotional intimacy, forming real romantic attachments is a challenge for both men and women. And yet, many relationships begin with casual sex.
I’ve created a flowchart describing the anatomy of relationships today:
As you can see, there are lots of hurdles one needs to jump before landing in a [...]
