Yesterday reader Cody left a comment on a post I wrote about American women losing our sense of femininity. Femininity is not compatible with feminism in many cases, so it had to go – two generations of women now have been raised to avoid “acting like a girl.” Yet it’s essential to relations between the sexes, and men bemoan its disappearance. Cody expresses this better than I can:
The feminine is pure life manifested in its immediate form in the right now. That’s the feminine. Embodying your feelings in your body, feeling it to the fullest extent possible, moving as the ocean, powerful as the ocean, life giving and destroying. A feminine woman can take a man out of his head where he all too often resides and place him in the moment with her.
Women fill rooms with their mood, poise, and presence in ways that men do not. An open and loving woman can stop bullets with the sheer beauty of her love. I mean that literally as in break the will of an assassin.
Killing femininity will mean the death of masculinity as well. Just as a man is like a ship in the ocean of his woman’s love, of life itself, so is a woman that life itself — a light of wonder in her mans life. A woman inspires a man to live fully in this life, and to find his direction in it just as a man gives purpose to the ocean.
It’s a beautiful and necessary duality.
To ladies who want to become more feminine, I encourage you. The world needs your feminine gifts. So start getting out of your head and feeling the moment of now!
As you can see, being feminine need not mean being submissive or deferential to a man. It means being nurturing in your relationship so that emotional intimacy can flourish.