Geeks Demand Equal Time Under Fairness Doctrine

March 1, 2009

 

Cute Geeky Guys

Cute Geeky Guys

Ever since I published Are Emo Guys the Antidote to Frat Poison? last week, I’ve been getting some pushback from geeky types and the girls who love them. Hey, I’m game. I love geeks. In fact I married one, sort of. Well…he had been a geek, for sure, but I met him when he was 26, and by then he had morphed into a really cool, smart guy. Looking at his high school pics, though….um, no. Just no.

But here’s the thing: geeks are often ugly ducklings. In high school, they always seem to be short and skinny and wear braces through junior year. They’re always pasty white from hanging out in the lab instead of playing sports in the sunshine. Fast forward ten years. Now they’re gazillionaires from their techy start-ups. Or they’re on Wall St. (when it still existed), or the partner track at a law or consulting firm. They are interesting writers, and filmmakers, and well, you get the picture.

Meanwhile, the star quarterback from your high school is bald and pudgy and has four kids with Cindy Lou, his beautiful prom queen who got pregnant in the Taco Bell parking lot. Or at least that how I’d like to think it goes down. In any case, I raised my daughter telling her that geeks make the best husbands. You just have to wait awhile for them to mature. Once they do, they’re hot property, so the best bet it to snag one just as he is coming into his own. 

Here are the best reasons to go geek:

  • They’re usually really smart. That means they are more likely to have a great sense of humor and be witty. Wit is, in my humble opinion, one of the key characteristics that makes a guy a keeper.
  • Geeks have suffered. It’s true that one needs to know suffering to know joy, and geeks have generally survived a painfully awkward social stage. They’re not cocky.
  • They are extremely earnest. They have no game. Aaahhhh, how refreshing.
  • Geeks are passionate and loyal. They tend to be a tad obsessive. This bodes well for both fidelity and sex.
  • Geeks are patient. Almost all geek pursuits reward patience and tenacity. They won’t give up on you very easily.
  • Parents love geeks for their good manners and their good jobs. My mother nicknamed my husband “the genius.” (She was just so relieved I didn’t marry the dumb frat rat.)
  • Geeks are creative. When you get to know them, they are extremely interesting. They have hobbies!

OK, now we come to the hard part. When I wrote my Emo Guys post, it was really, really difficult to settle on ONLY ten really, really hot dudes. Maybe it’s because geeks fly under the radar, but I could only come up with a handful of hot, real geeks. I would like to point out however, that in For True Love, Pick a Beta Male, I sang the praises of John Krasinsky, Seth Rogan and Free Credit Report Guy. Beta males are closely related to geeks, in many cases are geeks, so I hope you’ll give me partial credit for those three. 

Here are the geeky guys I think are really hot, in order of appeal:

1. Demetri Martin, host of Comedy Central’s Important Things With Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Justin Long, MAC guy and star of He’s Just Not That Into You

Justin Long

Justin Long

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Jimmy Fallon, star of Fever Pitch and new Late Night host

Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Jemaine Clement, Flight of the Conchords

Jemaine Clement

Jemaine Clement

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s it! That’s all I’ve got! If I include fictional characters, there’s always:

5. Seth Cohen, The OC

Seth Cohen

Seth Cohen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And there are famous geek actors that I just cannot justify as hot:

6. Michael Cera, star of Juno, Nick & Nora, etc.

Michael Cera

Michael Cera

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. McLovin Guy

McLovin

Christopher Mintz-Plasse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help me out here! Who am I missing? Write it in the Comments!