Act Three

December 15, 2017

aging quoteRegular readers have noticed that I’ve been updating the blog less and less frequently. I haven’t addressed it directly because I’ve been feeling very ambivalent. I don’t want to quit it, but neither do I choose to put in the hours at HUS that I once did.

I started Hooking Up Smart just over nine years ago. At the time I was a self-employed, part-time management consultant. My daughter was starting college. Suddenly the hookup culture was everywhere. Rolling Stone wrote about the sex culture at Duke. Tom Wolfe wrote I Am Charlotte Simmons. Sex-positive feminists extolled the pleasures of casual hookups scored off of Craigslist.

As a parent I was terrified, but I was also deeply saddened by the reports I heard first-hand. They described young men of 18 or 19 demanding FWB and proclaiming their disinterest in a “relationship.” I began to research the topic deeply, and then to write for the young women who were taken aback and horrified that boyfriends were rare. HUS became a place where young women could read about these issues and have a conversation about how to approach dating in college.

I’m sixty now. I’ve entered Act Three of my life, and it’s very different. The daughter who felt so frustrated as a college freshman will be married in June. My son, who married his long-term sweetheart two years ago, is a new father. That means I’m a grandmother! My grandson is such a joy and I’m privileged to spend two days a week with him as his mom returns to work. My husband is retired. I’ve long ago retired my consulting gig. Life is still very busy. I’ve been painting again. I’ve been asked to do some design work for a local textile business, and I’m really excited about that.

As the months pass, I find myself prioritizing these things in my life over the blog. Part of that is feeling excited about new opportunities, but that’s not the only reason. Since 2008 I’ve written over a thousand blog posts. I’ve analyzed innumerable academic and case studies.

In the last year or two, I’ve been feeling that my posts are not entirely original. I’ve said it before – differently perhaps, but it has felt repetitive. I find myself lacking inspiration and new ideas – something I never thought would happen.

So the question is, where do I go from here? If I was prepared to just sign off, I’d have done it already. Although the number of new posts has declined considerably, HUS still gets a lot of new readers from old posts. I still receive multiple emails per day. I care about the people who write today just as much as I cared about those who wrote years ago. And I care most of all about the many readers who have been a part of this community for years, and who have contributed their own stories and thoughts.

At the very least, I believe it will be worthwhile to organize the material here into a comprehensive reference. The greatest hits, if you will. A book, perhaps an online course?

Please let me hear from you! What would be most useful? I’m open to all suggestions!

I wish you all lovely holidays and a fantastic new year.