Hooking Up Realities

The Loneliness of Hookup Culture

March 9, 2017
The Loneliness of Hookup Culture

Here’s an email that I just received from longtime reader Sarah. She describes her loneliness and frustration with hookup culture on her college campus. It’s a story I’ve heard many times over the years. Hi Susan, I’ve been reading your blog since I was 16 and most of what I’ve learned about relationships has been from you, […]

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Sexual Narcissism

February 16, 2017
Sexual Narcissism

Studies of narcissists have shown that they score low in both relationship and sexual satisfaction. Since narcissists are dedicated to maximizing their own satisfaction, and because they tend to have more sexual partners, their reporting lower sexual satisfaction appears counterintuitive. This question led to the development of a specific Sexual Narcissism Scale. What is sexual narcissism? “With […]

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The Four Horsemen of the Dating Apocalypse

February 7, 2017
The Four Horsemen of the Dating Apocalypse

The Four Horsemen of the Dating Apocalypse are: Ghosting Benching Zombieing Breadcrumbing (aka “Hansel and Greteling”) To some extent these terms have been coined and promoted as clickbait on sites like Buzzfeed and Bustle. We love reading stories about the bad behavior of others – it makes us feel virtuous. And if we’ve been on […]

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Is Playing Hard-to-Get a Good Dating Strategy?

December 15, 2016
Is Playing Hard-to-Get a Good Dating Strategy?

In the paper Playing Hard-to-Get: Manipulating One’s Perceived Availability as a Mate, researchers Jonason and Li looked at dating from a Supply-side Economics perspective. This dictates that scarcity in the supply of a good increases its price. Playing Hard-to-Get (HTG) is an attempt to create the impression of limited availability in hopes of driving up one’s perceived value. […]

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Sex is Not a Skill Set

November 10, 2016
Sex is Not a Skill Set

In The One Real Way to Get Better at Sex, the principal investigator at the Sexual Psychophysiology and Affective Neuroscience Lab at UCLA says there is no such thing as someone who is “good at sex.” Sex is not a skill set you can pack up and travel with, moving from partner to partner. According […]

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